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Original poster

My husband has just caught me doing something terrible and embarrassing...

422 replies

PrettyRicky · 19/01/2017 10:24

My DH came home unexpectedly and I was in the kitchen doing something I probably shouldn't have been doing but which I do every time I'm home alone.

I was having an imaginary interview on Radio 4 Woman's Hour about my new, hugely critically acclaimed novel.

DH walked in just as I was saying to Jane Garvey "That's an interesting question, Jane. The book's really a reflection on womanhood at times of crisis".

He was just stood there at the kitchen door and said "What is? Who's Jane?" and then looked around the corner to our dining table, presumably expecting to find someone called Jane who'd popped around for a brew.

OP posts:
MarilynWhirlwindRocks · 30/01/2017 14:21

I've been amusing myself no end, imagining these guys utterly bewildered by having mass Twitter shout-outs to appear on Woman's Hour Grin Grin Grin

Oh, naughty OP, (The real "Pretty Ricky" to us MNers), we worried you'd had enough of fame and buggered off to The Priory...

Sorry you never got to chat to Jane Garvey IRL, but she certainly spoke of you warmly, didn't she? Am sure she'll provide a glowing 1st review when your book's published Wink

middlings · 30/01/2017 14:19

Oh Pretty GUTTED that you didn't get the message in time! It was a great piece and Jane clearly luffs you. Thank you for outing us all as totally normal Grin.

Original poster
PrettyRicky · 30/01/2017 13:59

maple Listen to Woman's Hour, it's not weird, it's completely normal Grin

I've just sent WH a message saying what lovely kind words they had and letting them know I started my book today Grin

OP posts:
maplepixie · 30/01/2017 13:54

Hilarious Grin when I cook stuff I talk to myself as if I'm on a cookery show and stand there frying all like "now you need to add the peppers and onions and gently fry" I know this is incredibly weird but I can't stop....what a nob GrinHmmBlush

PetalMettle · 30/01/2017 13:50

I generally practise my best actress Oscar speech

Original poster
PrettyRicky · 30/01/2017 13:47

I'm listening to it now, actually crying

OP posts:
GeorgeTheHamster · 30/01/2017 13:43

I heard it too. She basically replied to you, OP!

TheLivingAsheth · 30/01/2017 13:39

I heard it! They were very nice about you, weren't they, and said you should definitely write your book. I want to read that academic's book now but our library doesn't have a copy.

Original poster
PrettyRicky · 30/01/2017 13:37

Has anyone heard today's Woman's Hour?
here

I was invited to go on the programme but I didn't pick up the message in time. I'm really upset, I would've loved a good chat with Jane Garvey Sad

OP posts:
Wigeon · 29/01/2017 09:11

I love you all too, and am kind of jealous I don't do this Grin. Wonder what scenario I should start with?

I think the OP does know that Jane Garvey herself is after her - she (OP, not Jane) posted on 20 Jan 14:45 that she'd seen on Facebook about it. And now there is going to be a slot at 10am on Monday on Women's Hour about talking to yourself look here!

@PrettyRicky - please please please tell us you are going to be on it! I am definitely listening in.

AutumnalLeaves38 · 27/01/2017 23:26

Oh that's brilliant! Please, please follow it up, OP Wink

LauraMipsum · 27/01/2017 22:13

You have to do it OP! twitter.com/BBCWomansHour/status/825029423401426945

JulesJules · 27/01/2017 17:59

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

elfycat · 21/01/2017 22:23

Sometimes I take up vBlogging and have a gazillion followers. I cook dinner narrating how to make amazing things (spag bol, mostly from scratch tinned tomatoes )

To be fair my 8yo DD1 loves me to serve food 'Masterchef' style. So I sashay in holding plates and describe what's for dinner and what's it's served with. I can tell both DDs have excellent imaginations and once they grow up will realise you can put the toys down and still play Grin

MommaGee · 21/01/2017 21:45

I've never told anyone this but when i was youger and had to wash up and feed the dog, i used to pretend it was some highbrow TV show about god only knows what - washing up and feeding the dog?? haha

I still send myself to sleep sometimes when i can't sleep by concocting some random romanace in my head (sorry DH!!) where i work in a book shop and some guy comes in and is looking for my favourite novel etc.

MommaGee · 21/01/2017 21:41

@Spudlet Dave A is the coolest man alive. you need to be my bff and then we can go on adventures with Dave together!

plominoagain · 21/01/2017 20:52

Thank god . I thought it was just me that rehearses whole arguments I might have in the future , just in case.

The horses are used to it. Not that I'd ever pretend to be Charlotte Dujardin at the 2012 olympics , but big horse thinks his nickname is Valegro ....

dottybooboo22 · 21/01/2017 20:26

I'm beginning to feel quite normal after reading these posts lol
I talk to myself and ask questions out loud. I only realise I've asked the questions out loud when my dd answers and says "I don't know "
I say I wasn't asking you and she says but I'm the only other person here so who on earth were you asking??? Of course she's used to it now and usually ignores me when I actually ask her something.
I often make up romantic adventure stories in my head of which I am the heroine. The one I have going on at the moment is that somehow I've managed to time travel back to Victorian London where I am making a stand for womenkind (this is way before the suffragette movement) I am wowing them with my medical skill and academic knowledge.
I am making them realise that they can be whoever they want to be and that being a woman should never hold them back.
Of course all the men are in love with me for being so feisty apart from the fact that I'm incredibly beautiful and smell good. Grin

geetzy · 21/01/2017 20:18

That's hilarious. I'm not alone then. I pretend I'm on the Great British Bake off when I'm baking and try not to swear, as I'm on tv. Handy when the kids are around.

Carriecakes80 · 21/01/2017 19:21

Lol love it. I used to be in a band and old habits die hard, we used to do requests which I loved as we never knew what we would be singing next, and now, when everyone is out, I get out my old microphone which no longer plugs into anything (its mainly kept for memories lol) and I do the old sets we used to do, and pretend I'm waving at the crowd (the crowds mainly being pissed up old farts too drunk to give two shites what we were singing lol) and pretending to embarrassingly accept the compliments and awards....until my eldest came back early from college once and thought I was having a mid-life crisis! I still do it though lol, its my release! And bloody well done on the book! ;-) xxx

Mumonthesofa · 21/01/2017 19:04

When I was a teenager I used to create adverts in the kitchen for kitchen roll, narrating and acting them out. If the sheet of kitchen roll didn't clean up the whole mess in one sweep (like on the real adverts) I used to have to start again. I poured all sorts of shit over that worktop. Luckily I was never caught in the act!

PrincessAnnaOfArundale · 21/01/2017 18:34

I love you all. Every single one of you. This thread makes me realise that whilst I am completely infuckingsane, it seems we all are. How comforting!

In my head I am a woman named Kate who is slim and attractive, married to a radio host (but who looks exactly like a middle aged singer I have a huge crush on in real life).

I'm an author and regularly get interviewed on radio and on Graham Norton. 😂

I often act out scenes too....so glad to able found this. We are all bonkers.

Silentplikebath · 21/01/2017 17:46

My DH caught me channelling my inner Victor Meldrew when I didn't hear him come in from work and I was looking at my post. 'Who the bloody hell decided to make official envelopes such an ugly shade of beige? Why can't they send me a tax bill in a nice pink envelope and for that matter why do I have to pay my sodding tax bill in January? Who the bleeding hell thought that was a good idea?'....

In real life I'm actually quite cheerful and happy so DH thought it was hilarious.

Notmuchtosay1 · 21/01/2017 10:07

OMG....do people really talk to themselves? Or even have imaginations like that? I've always known I'm an incredibly boring person. I need to borrow your imaginations! I do sing when the house is empty...but I'd die if I got caught. 😀