Banged my head on a shop window.

Quite a few years back my DH,our DD and I went out one summer evening with a couple of friends and their 2 children,to a pub. Me and the other mum went into the garden with the kids while the men went into the pub to get the drinks. In the pub garden,there were several of those wooden tables with bench seats attached. My friend sat down at one,just as her DH came out with their drinks,which he set down on the table. I then sat down on the same side of the table as her. Unfortunately,the table was one of those ones where the feet are not cemented into the ground,and the weight of both of us proved too much. The whole table tipped over,with me and my friend ending up on our backs on the floor,with a glass of orange juice and a pint of beer all over us,and the table on top of us. My DH came out of the pub at that moment and he and my friend's DH had to pull he table off us,while pissing themselves laughing. Thankfully,by some fluke,there was no one else in the garden at the time to witness the entertainment. From that day on,I have never sat at one of those tables on the same side as someone else unless the feet are fixed into the ground!

One springs to mind, VERY early days of mine and DHs relationship, at uni, walking across the car park together staring lovingly at each other. So much so that I don't see the head height parking notice sign sticking out which I walk slap bang into with enough force to knock me straight back off my feet, comedy style. It hurt, I cried whilst trying to laugh it off at the same time! DH still reminds me!

Next one many years later, I'm 8 months pregnant with DD2 and the size of whale. A fact which I clearly forgot as I tried to squeeze through the middle of the very tightly packed garden furniture/ornaments area in TKMaxx, huge belly sends a giant concrete statue thing crashing to the floor which knocks over a vase thing on a plinth. The noise of the combined smashing of the items to smithereens on the floor was deafening and I had nowhere to go and I was trapped in the centre of the ornament maze! Everyone stared! I was mortified!

Stomping out of university lobby after a particularly rough seminar, I tried to nip into a revolving door compartment behind someone. I made it in, my rucksack didn't.

The twang of the floor to ceiling glass doors as they juddered to a halt was bloody deafening. Entire lobby and those on steps outside turned to see what was going on, everyone in the door compartments walked into the glass door in front of them. I was stuck, pinned by my shoulder blades and the straps of my rucksack to the door, absolutely fucking scarlet, saying "um, if everyone could just back up a bit?"

I've avoided revolving doors ever since.

Haha, shouldn't have read this thread when DH was in same room in middle of very important work call

I bang into things all the time - my spatial awareness is terrible.

So all the time I walk into walls as I've misjudged the corners or bang my leg on a display bar in a shop.

I've learned to style it out and keep on walking limping even though it REALLY hurts. I am covered in bruises.

Although the worst was trying to get through one of those anti-bike barriers when pregnant. It was narrow at the top and I couldn't fit my bump through. A queue developed behind me as I tried to work out how to get through it....

I was on holiday in a very smart and elegant European location. I had popped into a hotel to ask directions and they had kindly given me a map.

I walked along the street reading my map and walked slap bang into one of those street bollard things - a sort of traffic stopping shortish pole (normally sort of hip height) in the middle of the street.

Trouble was that on the top of the bollard was a round metal ball. The round metal ball was on the exact level of my pubic bone. I have never felt pain like it. It made stubbing your toe look pleasant. I could barely stand up.

I still don't understand how I made such violent contact with it; I was just walking with a map not running like a cheetah.

Fortunately there were very few witnesses but of course they were all highly stylish.

This kind of thing but very much thinner and narrower.

www.geograph.org.uk/photo/1117088

On a skiing school trip we got diverted to a difficult run due to bad weather closing the chair lifts, everyone going down in stages to be safe, lining up when all together, i'm at the very back of the group, set off towards the line of schoolmates, ski over a patch of ice, fall on my arse heading straight for the line of people, knocked them all over like bowling skittles. Italian instructor not impressed.
Rushing in £shop to get to the pub, heel on stupid boot slips, i go skidding down the aisle on my front, shopping bags/handbag and basket flying everywhere. In front of a bunch of snooty looking teenage girls
At a friends hen do in Edinburgh at the fringe, come out of a show (sober) chatting to a friend, miss the step so fly into the crowd of people buying tickets/food. Feel ok so go about my day, ankle gets worse, carried to evening show by 2 girls from hen party, (people muttering about me being drunk, wasn't) sit down for show, guy in front stands up and his chairs closed in my injured ankle. Staff ended up calling paramedics to take me to a&e, carried throughout crowds in a wheelchair with everyone staring, ligament damage and ended up on crutches. That was fun to explain when i went to work!

8 months pg and went arse over tit outside Mothercare. Two little old ladies same ones as Hoppings? had to haul me off the floor as I was like an upside down tortoise.

After being up since 5am with my son, I just got him off to sleep when I started reading this thread and promptly woke him up again from laughing! I haven't laughed this hard in ages!

I work for a large high end jewellery company (not pandora!) and we see this happy on a nearly daily basis! The worse, is when the customer is in the shop and they put their hands out to touch or point at something in the cabinets and wack their hands. Obviously, you can't Laugh but it's so hard not to!

When 6 months pg I went to a spa. There was a huge pit of beans bags so I got comfy and had a nap, woke up suddenly needing a wee to see that 2 more ladies had joined me and were staring at me in horror - pretty sure I had been snoring loudly.
That wasn't too bad but when I tried to get out I was completely stuck like a very fat turtle ( still really needing a wee). One of the ladies got out and pulled while another one got behind me and shoved, they were quite elderly and a bit frail so it wasn't working. Another lady went to get a member of staff, no idea what she said but 3 of them came running in a panic and said that the designated first aided was on their way too. The room we were in was a low light quiet room with comfy beds etc so they had to disturb everyone by turning the lights on etc so I had quite an audience.
Eventually they got me out ( still needing that wee) and one insisted on a taking me to the toilet while holding onto my arm, I could bloody walk fine just not climb out of a bean bag pit! For the rest of the day a member of staff followed me around at a safe distance

Years ago, going out after work so wore a long, tight skirt to the office. Got the bus to work, stepped off when I got to my stop on the high street. Only needed to take a big step as bus was higher than the pavement. Tight skirt not designed for big steps so didn't manage to reach the pavement, fell off the bus and went flying across the pavement almost hitting the shop window opposite. Could hear the gasps from the bus and pedestrians as I gathered myself up and tried to look nonchalant.

Fintress I also lost a shoe getting into a train. Got my foot a bit caught in the gap, trainer came off as I pulled foot back out in a panic. Then I had to go one-shoed to find my husband, get him off the train and wait for the train to go, stand around with one shoe on while he fetched a member of staff to retrieve the shoe from the line, and wait red-faced for the next train.
But your story wins as you had such an appreciative audience!

When I was about ten I was touring the V&A museum with my grandparents, looking at some beautiful antique jewelry collection they had on display. Totally misjudged where the glass was, smashed my head into it and set off alarms throughout the entire museum. My poor grandparents had to spend half an hour convincing them that I genuinely wasn't trying to steal the necklaces whilst I slowly died of embarrassment in the corner!

Too many to mention but worst was sleeping walking naked outside my house at 7am on a lovely summer morning. We lived in a small cul de sac. I also did it on holiday and my husband found me wandering the corridors of the hotel buck naked. Another time I was getting on a train at a really busy station which was full of football fans going to a major cup final. As I stepped onto the train my shoe fell off straight onto the railway line. Cue loud football type chants of 'lost your shoe, lost your shoe'. They had to move the train to recover it.

There is a bigger one but that might out me.

One of mine was when I was laughing to vivaciously at the humour of a man I was in to (he probably wasn't even being that funny) and a bubble of snot came out of my nose. Years later when he sees me he still MIMES a bubble of snot coming out of his nose then points laughs and smacks his thigh like he'll never forget that one. So I can't

I have to read this later so place-marking. I thought the OP's was bad, and then I loved that the second post topped it! tick but, more embarrassing when it's cakes!

I went for an eye test, was still fidgeting on the chair trying to get settled when the lady moved the big glasses thing towards me and said 'Just put your forehead there' just as I leaned forward to get comfortable and I ended up bashing my face on the place where I was meant to be resting gently.

They must have thought I had eyesight like Mr. Magoo (I didn't).

Oh, and I face-planted the pavement - for no discernible reason - right next to DS1's school bus.

My local Asda changed the direction of the travelators to go to the next floor around for some reason, so I go rushing in one morning as I have done many times, go straight onto the travelator on the left that usually goes up....well you can guess what happened next...yes...I end of toppling off the bottom when it quickly brings me back down after 2 steps! Right by the self service tills where there was a queue of people watching and laughing

Nearly having an asthma attack I'm laughing so much!!!

When I was around 18 I went on a date with a really cute guy. Sat in the pub and ordered a drink, can't remember what it was, but I was offered a cherry on a stick to go in it and I said yes. (This was in the 80's!!) Trying to appear sophisticated and alluring, I pulled the cherry out of the drink and tried to remove it seductively from the stick. He was captivated by my performance but when I bit into it, some of the juice went down the wrong hole and I ended up coughing, spluttering and snotting everywhere. The pub went silent as I went puce with embarrassment. Didn't see him again.........