Banged my head on a shop window.

I was sat in the passenger seat of the removal van and we had just arrived on the driveway of our exciting new house! I opened the door and promptly fell out sideways onto the drive! Strangely, I was carrying my (now ex) DPs favourite tumbler and managed to land without breaking that!!

In my teens I hooked up with a guy I'd had the hots for for years. I used to see him randomly at clubs once in a while but he'd always had a girlfriend. One night we met at a house party and we were both single so hit it off. We disappeared for a few hours into a bedroom and when I came out I told my cousin/best friend that he wasn't "very gifted in the trouser department" actually... he was tiny. She was drunk and I hadn't noticed. When he came out she called his name really loudly and showed him her pinky finger at the same time, waving it around to him in a mocking way.
I could have died... it still pains me to think about it now. Needless to say, he never talked to me again, even when we kept repeatedly bumping into each other at more parties and clubs. Was a shame as he was gorgeous... that taught me a lesson though!

not me but my mum, holidaying in Thailand, stepped off the shuttle bus onto a tiled area, which had a welcoming line of locals sitting cross legged and playing instruments as a welcome to the country, it had just rained and tiled area was like an ice rink, we mum slipped onto her bum and just carried on skidding across, I can still see the faces of the locals as my mum almost knocked them out like skittles...

BrondeBombshell, that was hilarious! Laughed out loud at that one!

Many years ago, keen cyclist DH persuaded unsporty me that a tandem was just what we needed so that I could enjoy his pastime with him. Being a stickler for doing things properly, he fitted the pedals with toe straps.

All went really well until we cycled up a short hill and were forced to stop for a red light. We then tipped over to one side very very slowly while DH struggled desperately to get his foot out of the toe straps and weakling me failed dismally to hold upright the combined weight of DH and tandem.

We ended up lying in the middle of the road with the bike on top of us whilst all the traffic was brought to a standstill and people pointed and sniggered out of their car windows.

Out running with a friend in the dark, chatting so not paying attention - ran straight in to a big black wheely bin. It hurt.

I tried to push my DH and 2 children on a big tyre swing that didn't just go back and forwards but round as well.
I misjudged how far I could push their combined weight and gravity pulled them down harder than I expected. The swing hit me and I managed to run backwards a few steps before falling over backwards with such speed that I had a surprisingly close up view of my knees for a brief moment.
I was laughing so much I couldn't get up, DH thought I was injured and crying so he was desperately trying to wriggle off the swing while it was swinging and he was pinned down with 2 children.
I raised my head to see his desperate wriggling and my eldest trying to pretend she didn't know any of us.
Still makes me laugh now, it would have made an excellent you've been framed video

Just want to say thank you for these posts, been feeling really down recently, really cheered me up! I'm so clumsy I accidentally walked into a shop window and took my dd (3!!!) with me! Every one stopped to look at the awful mum knocking her child out and herself

On holiday with the family, I walked into our hotel bedroom to see my three DC leaning over the balcony cleaning their sandals by banging them together. Worried that people below would be showered with sand I charged across the room to stop them. Full pelt into the closed plate glass sliding door. It catapulted me straight back across the room and onto the bed, where I lay with my hands over my face blubbing that I'd broken my nose. The family all managed to hold it together for a full 30 seconds before bursting out laughing. And it got worse when they saw the Turin shroud type impression of my suncream-covered face on the glass. This was in the 80s, God bless 'em, before simple H & S warning signs were thought of.

I remember a few years ago when me and a friend took my niece shopping into another town.We decided to visit a sandwich shop for lunch.All went well until it came time for us to leave.My niece in her complete lack of awareness missed the door completely and walked right into the glass window which shook under the impact.Cue one very embarrassed aunt who left promptly dragging my niece behind me.

Not such a funny one but true. Back in the day, 70s, newly opened supermarket with the new fangled
Automatic doors with a very tall glass panel beside it, one almighty crash, a woman had walked straight through the glass panel, as she stood stunned on the other side the huge triangular piece of glass that was left at the top of the panel came down in its grooves like a guillotine behind her. She was incredible lucky not to be killed. Next day the new glass panel was cover with advertising signs.

I regularly go out with clothes inside out. I always check but can't quite seem to get it right. DD always tells me but DS has as much attention to detail as I do...or don't.

I sat in a cafe in the underground floor of a shopping centre with my cousin. We were having a bite to eat before going shopping. When we were done my cousin excitedly ran toward the escalator to go up a level to the shops but unfortunately for her it was the descending escalator. If she hadn't been running she would have stopped time but as it was she went arse over tit and flew across the polished floor like a bowling ball. It happened 20 years ago but still makes me laugh out loud.

I've just remembered the cat walking into a pane of glass when I was a child.

We had secondary double glazing - DM & DF had taken out a huge pane to clean it & it was standing vertical across the hall with dad & I holding an end each, ready to go back in the frame.

The cat marched down the hall & crashed into it, bounced off, shook her head a bit & then spent ages carefully sniffing round it while mum wiped off the smears of cat snot

I crouched down to look at an ornament on a low shelf in a gift shop, really low, almost sitting on my too high for this particular move heels.

When I tried to stand up I sort of rolled backwards onto my bottom & then my back, knees in the air. No-one saw or laughed if they did

Love the giraffe attack

Not me but was with DH a few years ago choosing new bathroom porcelain. He insisted on trying out the loo we wanted, explaining that it needed to be the right height for him (6'4" and 16stone)...... he expressed satisfaction at which point a crunching ripping sound was the beginning of the entire thing coming away from the wall. Profuse apologies then quick exit as we headed to the next shop where we wanted to look at short baths (small bathroom) again DH insists on 'trying' out the bath to see if he fits. This time the bath is in the shop window (Central London)with nicely tiled surrounds. He climbs into the bath, sort of sits and then ping ping ping the tiles all round him start popping off the walls. I heard his shrieks, couldn't see him from inside the shop but could see, through the shop window, the growing crowds fascination and amusement on the pavement outside.
We did end up buying the bath and yes he did take his shoes off to get into the bath.

I was walking out of Lush and it had a little slope down to pavement. I managed to slip and one foot went forwards so I almost did the splits. I think I said 'Woah' as quite a few people on street turned around. I felt so embarrassed so felt the need to say loudly 'Well, that could have been impressive it didn't hurt so much'. Then hobbled off.

10 minutes later I had to hobble back past the shop entrance to find a mat had been put on slope to stop other people slipping. Wonderful, so the whole shop must have heard too

One new year staying at the inlaws I'd had a few drinks and we had a big curry for tea- long story short at some point in the early hours I sharted ! ( we were sleeping in their bed) I then jumped out of bed and in my drunken daze forgot where I was and ran head first into their new mirrored wardrobes landing on my slightly poop covered back on the cream carpet - my dh wide awake and in absolute hysterics at this point helped me up and tried to take me to the bathroom - naturally upon opening the bedroom door to reach the bathroom came face to face with the rest of the family who I'd woken up

Oh, I have so many. There are some dreadful ones that will out me, so here are two of my lesser fails.
First time meeting DH (then DP) family & we were staying at his Mum & Dad's house. Needing a poo, I headed to their bathroom and turned the shower on to full to mask any noise. I didn't realise that I hadn't tucked the shower curtain in properly until halfway through my huge and stinky poo - by which time, I had created a small paddling pool on their bathroom floor! Once, y'know, finished I went downstairs and explained that I hadn't tucked the shower curtain inside and if they could just direct me in the direction of mop or towels I would make all good again. No, ever the welcoming hosts DH's Mum AND Dad insist on sorting it out and off they BOTH head to the crime scene bathroom. Oh God, that's taken me right back.

My other one is the time DH and I had a bit of a barney in a hotel in Venice and I stormed out - straight in to a cupboard. I was so desperate not to lose face so I stayed in the cupboard, pissing about on my phone. After about 40mins, DH opened the door and said "Are you actually staying in there?"

l've banged my head a few times on jewellers windows! But my absolute piece de resistance was in June 2015. l had arranged to go to the Alexander McQueen exhibition at the V & A with a friend from twitter (who l had never met before).
Two hours after meeting him l lost my balance and fell backwards down an up escalator at Green Park tube station. lf the escalator had been packed, it wouldn't have been so bad. But it wasn't, and l Fosbury Flopped down about 6-7 stairs. l was helped up by three very nice gentlemen, and all l could think about was pulling my top down as it had ridden up as l fell.
We spent the next four hours in A & E at St Marys hospital in Paddington. l was black and blue from neck to ankle down my right side, had a huge lump on my thigh, and ruptured the AC joint in my shoulder.
l still went to the exhibition the next day, though....

When I was a child I also did a walk straight into glass doors of a hotel .. ow

The sunglasses incident reminded me of around 20 years ago probably pissed when I used those tinted lenses that clip on top of prescription glasses ... everyone started laughing whilst I was trying to hold a serious conversation and didn't bother telling me for around half an hour that for some reason these had stayed over one eye but the other side was completely upright in the middle of my head ... I looked and felt a right prat!

I smiled and waved at the cardboard cut out lady in the library, I didn't have my glasses on.

First pay packet as a 16 y old, bought myself a new pushbike. Took it out for a spin and had to wait at the lights at the railway crossing. I inched past all the traffic to the front of the queue.....and pedalled for gold when the barriers came up. Sadly the bike had not been assembled properly and suddenly the handlebars left the frame of the bike leaving me peddling whilst still holding the handlebars in thin air. As the bike rumbled over the train rail, my bucking bronco impression came apart and I was left strewn across the crossing, still in front of both lanes of traffic. No injuries apart from my severely hot cheeks and shame. Although reliving it I might also have got PTSD 😂😂

In a bar once, I opened my bag to pull out my purse and inadvertently pulled out a tampon which fell onto the bar in front of the barman and a group of men. Couldn't exit fast enough. That was in the 80' and I've only now had the nerve to mention it.