Banged my head on a shop window.

Cocolepew I am laughing so hard I'm testing my own pelvic floor!

I once broke my toe by dropping a tub of hair serum on it. Whilst sitting in my wheelchair

Feckitt My friend was out walking her dogs in some very rural fields, pre mobile phone days, when she slipped and broke her ankle pretty badly. She couldn't weight bear so had to crawl across the fields towards home on her hands and knees. She said the worst part was one dog thought it was a game and kept jumping on her back

I love this thread.

I mean shooted up my skirt obviously

I walked across a pedestrianised area with intermittent fountains which I didn't realise were working and as I walked over one it came on and shouted up my skirt and all over me. I obviously screamed and lots of people laughed at me but I did find it funny too.

This fills me with horror and please try not to judge But I have to share. My sister won some tickets to see the "Rocky horror show" and asked if I would like to come. We had never seen the film (it's always so late at night) but my dd,who was 6, loved the time warp dance and so we thought we would take her as a treat
We turn up and I'm starting to wonder why men and women are dressed in stockings and heels with feather bowers ? Im thinking maybe it's a stag do. Anyway it said on the flyer may have some naughty bits BUT the people at the ticket office looked at us and my daughter said nothing so we thought well it must be ok and in we went.
My god it was horrendous. I felt like the worst parent in the world and it kept getting more explicit to the point where they had this giant bed on stage wheeled out and a portrayed "rimming" was going on under a bed sheet that had me running up the steps holding dd with my fingers in her ears and hands over her eyes.
We sat out after the first half and got an ice cream whilst I judged myself harshly. I have never been so physically uncomfortable.
My dc has fond memories of doing the time warp with all the friendly adults and had a great time from what she remembers.
The SHAME

In the 90s after a night out drinking with friends. I was making my way home on a bus completely hung over. It had those seats at the front that are higher up and facing side on so you basically have an audience. Suddenly I knew I was going to be really sick and rather than have it go on the floor and run down towards all the other passengers I did the only thing I could do and was sick in my handbag. Mortifying

I had just had my hair done at my achingly cool hairdressers. I leaned over to pick my bag up from the floor and cracked my forehead on a little glass and metal shelf. Blood gushed everywhere. Panic stations with staff rushing to mop up the blood.

Fish I used to work in a West End theatre in the bar and all of the staff were out of work actors and dancers.

We used to have to carry these heavy crates down all these winding stairs to the glass washer...my friend, a ballerina, was tiny and as she carried this massive heavy crate loaded with glasses down the stairs, which were concrete...she slipped.

So being a dancer, she threw the crate down and sort of leaped balletically OVER it, thus avoiding what might have been a nasty accident.

She landed on her feet lower than the crate!

I knocked myself dizzy on a low beam in a very stylish boutique once. I staggered and saw stars...looked up to see the shop assistants sniggering at me.

They didn't ask if I was ok or offer me a seat or anything. So I reported them to head office who sent me a voucher for a large sum of money and told me the staff in question had been given offical warnings.

Karma.

This thread has to be a Classic...!

As I read this thread I am ashamed to realise that I have many more of these

There was the time after an afternoon in the pub when I attempted to cycle home but somehow it just wasn't working. I got on the bike, tried to pedal and fell straight off the other side. I did this at least twice before I realised the chain had come off...

And the job interview where I attempted to exit via the broom cupboard. In my defence it was in an oak panelled room with 2 doors that looked very similar and it had been a very stressful interview (me vs a panel of 6). A load of brooms, mops and dustpans fell out on my head like something out of Fawlty Towers. Amazingly I was offered the job but I turned it down. I couldn't have shown my face there ever again.

Oh just thought of another one.

When I was 18 I worked a canteen. One day I was making a big catering size tray of macaroni cheese with a crispy grilled top. The grill was high up on the wall so I had to stand on my tip toes to reach. This day as I reached up to take the tray down but the combination of tip toes and slippy oven gloves was too much and the tray when flying in the air. In my moment of panic I done a slide dive onto the floor (like a goalkeeper) in a desperate attempt to save it from going everywhere, and by some miracle I caught it before it landed with not a drop spilled.

As if it wasn't bad enough it all happened at the exact moment my manager was walking into the kitchen so she witnessed the whole thing. She said it looked like something out of a cartoon. I never lived it down.

With my dsis at a CenterParcs Spa.
There was a little outdoor plunge pool in a patio area that we fancied a soak and a chat in
She entered the water elegantly
I tripped over my flip flops, skidded on the wet floor on my arse and basically dive bombed all the sedate ladies in the pool.
I tried to style it out but many people had witnessed my shame and there was much nudging and tittering.

Not me but a friend - She invited an elderly aunt for Christmas. On Christmas eve auntie asks what she can do to help the following day. My friend says you can peel the pototatoes. About 6am Christmas morning my friend wakes up and smells burning. Grabs husband's dressing gown (sleeping naked) and runs downstairs. Auntie has not only peeled the potatoes but has put them on to boil and they have boiled dry. Friend leans over to take pan off the gas hob. The too long sleeve of the dressing gown catches fire. Friend runs to the front door, opens it and takes off the dressing gown and stamps on it to put the flames out. Cue neighbour walking his dog. Sees friend, naked, stamping on a flaming dressing gown on her front door step. He waves and shouts "Merry Christmas." So British.

Many years ago I had 2 large dogs. I was walking them, on leads, down a farm road which had crops on both sides about waist high. One of the dogs must have seen a rabbit or something because he suddenly ran into the field. The other one followed. I kept hold of the leads and got dragged into the field. As I was crawling out the farmer, his wife and their 3 children (who I was friendly with) drove past. They saw me and waved. They never asked me why I was crawling out of their crop field.

Oops even clumsy posting!

I was stuck one leg in and one leg out, properly squashed. They had to shut down the whole lift system to get me out, it was already off the platform over the safety net thing. Then a French woman shouted at me and I didn't understand a word.

As a teenager, I went on a school ski trip. I got really anxious getting the lift up the mountain - one of those ones that are like a bucket with automatic doors which open at the platform then close as they leave the platform, with everyone stood safely inside. Except I delayed following my friends on due to aforementioned anxiety, so as I took a leap of faith at the last minute, the door closed on me. One

Cocolepew Sorry to hear about your toe but your story really made me Lol.

The first time I went to Germany I decided to have a wander round the neighbourhood our hotel was in whilst DH was having a nap.

I spotted an Aldi. I was staring at whilst still walking thinking to myself,

'Oh look and Aldi, They look the just same as our Aldi, Is it closed? Do they close on a Sunday over here?, I wonder if they sell the same stuff, Maybe I should go in tomorrow for a look ....'

Next thing I know I've walked into a lamppost with enough force to bounce myself off it and straight onto my arse. I jumped up pretty sharpish and legged it back to the hotel trying to avoid eye contact with the man further up the street who witnessed the whole thing.

This thread has provided the best laugh I've had in ages!

When I was 18 (a looooooong time ago!) my new boyfriend, who I was utterly besotted with, bought tickets for us to go to a circus. When we got there a clown was running around with a massive feather duster trying to tickle people as they went inside the big top. When I saw him coming towards me I panicked and tried to get away by running up the steps to get to my seat. Was in such a rush I slipped and fell about 6ft through the gap under the seats into a heap on the ground underneath. People were pissing themselves as they thought it was part of the show. I was really badly bruised and had cuts but had to re-emerge from under the seats with as much dignity as I could muster. Still terrified of clowns now, evil buggers

I have one, one that still makes me cringe.

It was a dark day in late November and very early evening so the light was dim.

I was BFeeding DS. Was quite new to it all. Found a quiet room at the back of a pub to feed him. Settled him after his feed in his car seat and I quickly and modestly turned to the wall and lifted up my top to sort the clips on the feeding bra and my pads. I was fully bare at this point.

I then realised I was in fact turned towards a window in full view of the road, the internal lights and the poor light outside had confused me.

To my horror not only was it in full view of the road, stopped at the red traffic lights immediately outside was a work van on its way home. Full of men with their jaws dropped.

I wanted to die.

These are hilarious!

I was hurrying to catch up with friends ahead, whilst fishing in my bag for my purse, when I found myself flat on my back on the pavement (sober, I might add). Very busy street near UCL, students everywhere.Turned out I'd slipped on a banana skin! It was a proper slapstick moment. Highly amusing for my friends, passing students, and entire bus load of people watching...

Took some paperwork into my solicitors. Snooty and officious receptionist grilled me over everything before finally taking copies. Couldn't wait to get out of there so I flung open the door and marched straight into their stationery cupboard

I have fallen over backwards in the tube station whilst wearing huge backpack, struggled like an upturned tortoise to get up while people took photos. I walked into the side of a van that I thought was still moving as I crossed the road. I ran into a lamppost and actually knocked myself unconscious. I fell down a large hole when sneaking through roadworks on a drunken shortcut home- broke my knee. I fell asleep on a bench by a river and woke up with a huge leg jerk which unfortunately knocked a little girl off her bike. It looked like I kicked her on purpose and took a bit of explaining. Many many more of these but they do seem to be fewer these days as I don't go to the pub so often.

I fell out of a nightclub once..literally fell..down a whole flight of stairs, arse over tit with my male friend grasping desperately at my coat to try and stop me, out onto a packed street in Soho.

Another doctor friend who was there with us said I was lucky I was so pissed as sober I probably would have broken several bones!

Ruddy spectacular fall though, even if I do say so myself!