Banged my head on a shop window.

Bonnesvacances how awful!!!!

I was in a pedalo as a teenager with my younger sister. We were called in so went up to the pier. My sister jumped out. I have dispraxia but I confidently put one foot up on the pier. The boat then started to swing backwards and I started doing the splits! My mum was shouting at me to step into the lake but I was fully dressed. I held on for as long as I could then gave up and dropped into the water. I was soaked and covered with mud up to my knees. I gave the large audience a laugh as I squelched out of the water by walking to the shallow part.

Cocolepew You actually made me cry

So many.....
I was 8 mths pg with DC4. My exh and I had taken the other kids around a James and the Giant Peach exhibition. They all walked off and a security guard came up to me and asked if I was okay? I said no actually, I felt quite faint. He quickly led me to the nearest chair and went off to get a glass of water. I put my head down and took a few deep breaths. However, when I looked up I was surrounded by a bunch of tourists staring at me - which was when I realised the security guard had put me in the middle of a display which was part of the exhibition.

Another one, I climbed into attic for so called friend but couldn't reach ladder to come down. She held a three step ladder with a handle so I could hang down and put my feet on the handle. 'Do NOT let go,' I said. Her words were, 'do you think I'm a cabbage?' One minute later she let go to brush the dirt off my trousers.... the ladder went one way and I was left hanging through the open hatch. I used words that day I didn't know I knew!

This will probably out me but I can always NC.

I was on a non-touristy beach in Spain with my then DP. In those days before children when I was more confident about my body I used to sunbathe and swim topless. We came out of the sea after a swim and all our belongings had been stolen. Someone told us that an old-ish lady had come along, packed everything up and walked off. They thought she was our mother so hadn't said anything to her.

DP immediately ran off to see if he could find her as he had a description. Leaving me on the beach, surrounded at this point by lots of locals who were interested in the theft of the belongings of the young English couple, wearing nothing more than a pair of bikini bottoms.

I styled it out. Despite having limited Spanish and not really being able to make small talk until DP came back hours later. I'm surprised it's not on the internet somewhere! It caused quite a sensation!

Oh god Tom I've done that! My friends and I used to have a laugh trying on the most hideous things we could find in communal shop changing rooms.

Once I tried on a disgusting bright green shiny dress that was much too tight. It sort of jammed under my boobs when I tried to get it off over my head! Fortunately my friends got me out of it but it was a struggle

I was in a clothes shop changing rooms trying on a long, heavy evening dress. I put the dress on, decided I didn't like it's it was a bit on the tight side...and then got completely stuck trying to take it off.

I had crossed my arms pulled the dress from the bottom and lifted the dress with my arms stretched upwards over my head. Except the bodice was that tight when my arms were stretched upwards and the dress covering my face, it got completely stuck. I panicked and tried everything to get the damn dress off me but nothing worked. Then I could hear a vague tearing sound coming from within.

In the end I had to resort to shouting to the changing room sales assistant. It was a muffled shout from within the dress, arms still upwards with my arms clamped to the side of my face due to the tightness. Except there was nobody there. My heart started to race as I am slightly claustrophobic and it was getting really hot and sweaty in all the fabric.

In the end I had to resort to emerging out of the changing rooms onto a busy shop floor and trying to discreetly flag someone down. People stopped to stare at the mad woman with arms stretched out in a mangled dress with underwear on view. Three sales assistants finally managed to get me out of the dress after an almighty fuss and commotion using a pair of scissors. Mortified and red faced I raced out of shop.

These are so 😂

I agree for classics. Have loved this thread.

oh god keeplooking you reminded me of a really embarrassing one... I was driving a works vehicle with two other passengers - big burly men in workwear as our job was park maintenance - and we were discussing which place to work next. Once agreed I drove us there. One of the men commented on the route I was taking and I responded with 'well mummy wants to go THIS way'
There was a short silence before the jokes started...

My daughter had recently been quite commanding in the car.

The other day I tripped whilst boarding a bus- I swiped my oyster and quickly scuttled to a seat!

And there was the time I got locked on a train, the other half of which was on its way to London...

Was in a mall on hols in US going up an escalator turned to chat to my ds and reached the top where I promptly landed on my bum with my ds ontop of me! Also walking to work on a Saturday am couple of years ago chatting to a colleague when I fell over, was on the river bridge in front of a traffic jam, several blew their horns I was mortified got straight up and carried on as if nothing had happened with my colleague in fits of laughter.

My lovely best friend has one that I know took a looong time for her to live down! It still creases me up when I remember it!! We were teenagers, at a party at my house with, amongst others, my older brothers 'cool' friends around who we were desperate to impress. People all over the house, we were headed to the conservatory but as people were smoking out there, they had closed the large sliding patio doors to keep the smoke out of the house. Being slightly tipsy and over confident, my friend strode ahead, slap bang into the closed glass door. The force knocked the door out of the frame and it fell into the room, with my friend on top of it! It landed at an angle like a slide on the dining table and my friend then gracefully slid down to the bottom of it. Stunned silence followed by the loudest cacophony of cheers and clapping you ever heard. I can still picture the scene to this day! Probably one of my funniest memories!! (Although older and more sensible me now shudders at the possibility that the glass could have shattered and my friend gone through the frame!!!)

KatoPotato that is hilarious!!!!

DH and I were popping into Home Bargains the other day when we realised we didn't have the buggy with us, just the car seat. As it weighs about as much as a thousand suns DH strode off to the shop with a quid in hand to get a trolley to plonk the car seat in. Returns to the car moments later to tell me he'd just walked full stride into a very clean automatic door that he'd apparently crept up on. Now he's 6'5" and not a skint bloke, and remarked that the bang it made he was amazed it never came off the runners! Devastated I missed it, but had the joy of seeing his greasy face print on the glass, not just then, but again today, two days later!!!

I said "hello" to my Mum when I saw her upstairs in our Tesco. Was really surprised at the coincidence bumping into her there, same time, massive place. Yep. Mirror.

I'm a little bit notorious for this sort of thing, but I think my most infamous moment was walking into the side of a building. Not a window, a glass door, or a lamp post, no - no, that sort of work is for amateurs. A very large, very solid, stone-brick Building.
I was completely sober and it was broad daylight so I can't use that as an excuse. It's hard to miss a multi-story, city block wide, department store... and indeed I didn't miss it at all, but hit it square in my the face.

Slipsliding you are killing me!

I can add one more that I'd conveniently forgotten about. When I was 8 months pregnant at the end of summer it was boiling hot in London. I was walking around the house in just a top and pants. Started to cook dinner and threw my apron on which comes nearly to the knees. Completely forgot I didn't have trousers on because looking down I looked dressed! Went outside to water my flower boxes in the front garden, said hello to multiple neighbors, even bent down to pull a few weeds. Wandered back in and plonked downon the leather sofa and the feeling of the cold leather on the backs of my thighs gave me the startling realisation that in fact had no trousers on. I declared we needed to move. There was nothing for it. Sadly, DH, didn't seem to think this warranted moving house. I swear certain neighbors can't look at me without smirking!

Crying here

If I wasn't already cackling hysterically enough, oldraver's "foot and moth crisis" actually took air from my lungs.

Some of these descriptions are the funniest things I've ever read. I've regularly been clumsy and daft but none as good as these.

But being electrocuted by an electric fence - with my hand simultaneously on the neck of the large horse I was leading - was a low.

Kate "roll like a woodlouse and tumble through - yes through- the little fence into next door's drive" I'm crying.....Nat...hysterical
I was with my DSis and heavily pregnant with DS1. We were going to the Tate Pimlico and then lunch followed by an antinatal appointment at UCH. As we left the Tate I began to tell DSis the plot of the Steve Martin film "blowfinger" where Steve is making a very low budget film in LA. I was reliving the scene where Steve persuades a hapless extra ( Eddie Murphy) to run across a busy 6 lane LA highway whilst being shot at. When Eddie complains about the heavy oncoming commuter traffic Steve says that they are " stunt cars'. At this point I started laughing so much that I wet myself. I was wearing a long skirt and tights and we took the tube to Warren Street, I had to stand so as not to wet the seat or my skirt. I couldn't go for antinatal check ( or lunch) in this state so we went into a Boots where I grabbed tights and the only knickers there which were size 22 weird things. When I went to pay, in front of the crowds of office staff buying meal deals, the cashier thrust the pants aloft and shouted as loudly as possible in the general direction of a supervisor " how much are these incontinence knickers?"........it still burns!!!

Years ago, when in the full throes of toddler motherhood, I was shopping alone in Sainsbury's, when I misjudged a corner, had a trolley collision and found myself saying "OOPS, CRASH!!!" to the bemused other party.

"I'M GOING DOWN! HELP! I'M GOING DOWN!"

Dying.

Also Ricksheadtilt sliding like a torpedo into the easter eggs with her fanny out might end me.

I'm in bits here, these are brilliant! I love the giraffes - have long suspected them of foul deeds.

I have such an array of these over the years, it's hard to know where to start...the worst ones seem to be bike related. I was doing a road cycling event, a proper lycra-wearing long distance cycle thing. I've used the clippy-in cycling shoes for years, and despite being mortally afraid of them at first, I'd got pretty confident. Perhaps a little too confident...It was an all day cycle, so I'd nipped into a field for a wee at one point. What I hadn't realised was that when I got back on my bike, the clay-y mud from the field had set fast in my cleats and welded my shoes to my pedals. Later, I was cycling towards a zebra crossing at school chucking out time, and went to stop. As I got closer to the crossing, I went to unclip my feet, only to realise with mounting horror that they were stuck fast.

As I wobbled towards the horrified children on the crossing I yelled "I'M GOING DOWN! HELP! I'M GOING DOWN!", then in front of their confused wee faces, I ground to a halt and gracefully tipped sideways onto the verge and lay there, twitching and giggling, completely trapped under my bike until some kind passers by helped me chip my feet free.

Then there was the time I was cycle commuting. It was a beautiful summers morning and I was wearing a floaty dress. There was a junction where due to the cycle of the lights, it was quicker to hop off the bike, run it across the pedestrian crossing, then hop back on and sail off. I mistimed it, started to run across, realised there was traffic coming towards me and tried to run back to the pavement. I got tangled up in the bike and went arse over tit into the gutter, floaty dress over my head and knickers on display for all to see. I had to carry on into work and chair a meeting with gutter dirt and chain oil all over me