Banged my head on a shop window.

A few years back when I'd just started riding my bike, decided I could cycle home half cut (I could barely cycle sober). Flew off down the road, DH pedalling after me in a panic, rounded a corner and crashed straight into a lamppost. A lamppost, on the pavement. Directly opposite a popular fast food joint full of youths. Several came rushing out to pick me up (who was old enough to be their mum and really should have known better). Pretended I was fine (in truth had banged myself a good 'un and bent my bike).

I was covered in giraffes and quite badly bruised

A new Tesco local opened by us. The windows were very clean and shiny. I was rushing to get in before they closed and ran straight into the doors. I fell between the door and a bin outside. I could not decide between waiting for someone to help me out or getting up quickly and hoping no one saw me! I went into the shop to get my milk and the assistant, who could not have failed to hear the bang, never said a word. When I got home I realised I had a great fat lip and black eye and was dripping blood!

Aah I love this thread 😂

I have done the jewellery shop headbutt. So has my husband.
I fell over on a rock while trekking in Thailand and threw an embarrassing strop .
Walked full whack into a hotel glass door in front of a lobby full of people as a child.
Fell over while rushing up Victoria tube escalator and then also at Sloane Square. Both the same week. It really fucking hurt but I was too embarrassed to stop and cry.
Misjudged a step in a busy London bar, landing in a heap at the foot of someone's table - not drunk.
Fell out of a dining cubicle on a second date. Again not drunk.

There's more, but those are the ones that immediately come to mind.

Yep. The Fossil shop in the local mall has pure glass windows and doors. Usually there are racks and other items for display infront of the windows, so going in one day with DH, as soon as the display stopped, I turned to walk into the shop window.
The 2 shop assistants were clearly trying not to piss themselves.

On the way out one evening I was walking along the pavement with my friend who pointed something out to me across the road. As I was staring at it the next thing I know I'm stumbling backwards about 10ft and landing on my arse. Turns out I'd walked straight into a lamppost and fell comedy style.

When I looked up I had managed to do it in front of a massive wetherspoons and about 30 blokes were stood in the window absolutely pissing themselves at me.

Rather than just walk away I stood up and (god I cringe at this) took. a. bow!

What a weirdo I was. Nearly 20 years ago now but still curl up when I think of it.

A few years ago (about 2003?) there was a trend for large wooden giraffe ornaments. I was in John Lewis waking past them (not looking or thinking of buying one) when a woman with a giant handbag knocked over the entire display which promptly fell on top of me. I was covered in giraffes and quite badly bruised.

They offered me a cup of tea and a sit down. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. DH still says I should have milked it for an insurance claim (joking). But it was December on Oxford Street and it was highly embarrassing to be pulled out from under a huge pile of 6ft wooden giraffes...

These bastards...

Walking to work one morning passed an office building, the building had these big lights outside, big round white glassy balls about 40cm in diameter, hanging about 10feet up on the wall of the building.

I was wearing a hat with a slightly pretentious brim, walking along minding my own. One of the lights had come loose and was now hanging by its cable at head height, I didn't see it because of the brim. WHACK.

Fell on my arse in the street, very confused at what had just happened, looked in the window at the office workers who were having a meeting and staring at me open mouthed.

I just scurried away, with a red neck

I have done this so often, I now habitually put my hand on the glass to work out where it is before leaning in.
See also mirrors in clothes shops and wondering who the rude bitch is that's marching straight towards you on a collision course

I walked into a glass door in an ice cream shop in Malta. Spent the rest of my holiday with a black eye and a fat lip.

I have done this! But it was cakes, and everyone turned to see the fatty who was so excited about baked goods they forgot how windows worked.