Banged my head on a shop window.

elmo, that was the BEST response you could have had - I take my hat off to you.

Two spring to mind - one was when I was out with colleagues years ago, and was on the vodka lemonades . We were just preparing to leave the pub, and I opened my mouth to say something, only for the BIGGEST belch to escape the second my lips were parted. Not only my colleagues, but the entire pub, staff included, looked round to see who had made that inhuman noise.

The second was last Autumn; I was standing at a crossing waiting for the lights to change, along with quite a few other people. There was a horse chestnut tree nearby, with some of its branches overhanging the crossing. I was daydreaming, until what felt like someone hitting me over the head snapped me back to my senses. The shock of it made me shout quite loudly as I spun round to confront my attacker, only to see a very confused (and slightly scared) looking woman behind me. At which point it dawned on me that I had been viciously attacked by...... a conker falling on my head. The massive overreaction, and pitiful attempts to laugh it off to the other people wondering who the hell this madwoman was in their midst, still makes me die a little every time I think of it.

I took a dance class years ago in a very trendy studio in Manhattan. After getting changed I attempted to walk out the door and walked straight into a mirror which was opposite the real door. I then apologised to whoever I thought I walked into and took a step to the side and walked straight back into the mirror again. Everyone stood watching me walking into a mirror and apologising repeatedly like a lemming and it took me a short while to realise what I was doing.
In my defence I was taking heavy pain medication for surgery I had undergone the week before.
When I realised what I had done I found my nearest exit setting off the fire alarms. Never went back there again.

Oreo

I have, genuinely for the first time ever spat my tea at this thread! ( not over keyboard or phone but all down my chin)

I'm like a one woman slapstick injury sketch show so I'm getting warm fuzzies that you're all as dozy as me ❤️

I was covered in giraffes

Automatic doors are the bane of my existence, don't know if I'm too short (about average really) or just lack a soul but a good deal of the time they don't open for me. Sunday was one such time, as I walked straight into the doors, I then stood there for nearly a full minute thinking why oh why does this always happen to me. The people who were coming in behind me wisely went to the other set of doors that did open.

I walked into a lamppost. Full speed. It bloody hurt.
I think I momenterally passed out as I fell backwards and sprawled on the pavement.

I was not amused, but looking back it must have been hilarious to see as it was a true cartoon style slam.

I tried to board an escalator to go up to the next floor of a department store. It threw me off. I tried again. Same thing happened. I realised my mistake the third time.
Yep.

That's reminded me of my tube story, Soubriquet, and I do live in London!

I was only going a couple of stops, so didn't bother to find a seat. I decided to lean against the glass partition between the doors and the first seat. But it was a newer train and I hadn't noticed that there wasn't a glass partition. Leaned back and promptly landed on the lap of a guy sitting in the first seat.

Yay I'm not the only one! Did this to a Pandora window

I was on the tube in London

I don't live in London so it's a treat for me

Turned round to look out the window and missed the first window

All the carriage heard was this big donk.

Everyone sniggered into their paper/hand whilst I tried to regain my dignity

Yesterday I ended up with a cupboard full of files on my head not once but three times in front of my student who very kindly picked up dozens of bits of paper each time and calmly put them back. He kept a straight face until I then banged my head on the cupboard.

I recently went to a chemist that I hadn't been to before and I hadn't noticed that the step up from the pavement was much higher than average. I opened the door to go in, took a step up - but not high enough - the toe of my boot got caught just under the top of the step and I went flying through the door and landed on my knees on the doormat. In front of a shop full of people

Mercifully there were no witnesses to this...

I was in the loo in ikea, and stood drying my hands when I clocked a woman I recognise, I found myself staring at her trying to place her, then realised I was staring - so I smiled, and she smiled back.

Then it 'clicked' and I knew where I recognised her from... it was me, looking in a mirror . And yes my eye sight is just fine, clearly it's my mind that is failing me 🤔.

I'm so accident prone I could fill my own thread but the one story that comes to mind: I was in the post office but it was one of those with the full length windows beside the automatic door. I was putting my money in my purse as I was walking, thinking I knew where the automatic door was. Nope. walked smack straight into the window beside it. Massive bang. Everyone stared. Hurried outside to where my then DP was waiting thinking I hope he didn't see. Found him almost rolling on the floor laughing.

Also walked into a mannequin.

"Sorry!"... Pause ... "Oh, you're a mannequin!"

Walked into a mannequin in a crowded shop, said "oh I'm sorry!" really loudly and put s steadying hand on her arm. Realised, looked around to see if anyone had noticed and about 20 people had. Sharp exit.

Love the bowing response!

I managed to walk into a sign that was warning people of an open manhole just behind it, and fell over the sign (luckily not into the manhole). In my defence it was dark but I was with a group of people who took the piss out of me for that for ages.

Didn't mind the gap when getting on the tube while rather tipsy and one leg slipped down to the knee - heard a bit of horrified screaming I think but mostly laughter.

When Pokemon Go first came out I was playing it while riding my bike and managed to ride straight into a stone bollard in front of a busload of tourists.

I had a new job. Very important meeting with a vip client who I had lightly flirted with on the phone for 2 weeks. Wore my special new meeting trousers for the occasion. Went downstairs to.collect him and he was fecking gorgeous. Big hunk of a bloke, blue twinkly eyes.

I turned to say something to him as went upstairs, tripped up over the wide leg of my special new trousers and fell flat on my face, bust my lip on the tread of the stairs and scattered all the paperwork everywhere.

Spent the meeting holding a cold pack and kitchen roll to my very thick lip and dying of shame. My boss thought it was hilarious. Bastard.

Have you seen this episode of Veep ?

elmo80 no need to cringe at the bowing. That was a great response imo.