Banged my head on a shop window.

I'm less than five feet tall. I routinely bop myself in the face with shopping baskets pulling one off the top of a (not very) high pile.

I have clunked into glass trying to see things at the back of a window display.

I have bowed. Walking past a young couple trying to open a bottle of fizzy pop which exploded and showered me. They clapped and I bowed.

If there's no blood visible, then the trick is to try and style it out and pretend everything's fine.

Always carry tissues just in case there is blood.....

"Danced together" was not a euphemism btw.

Just clarifying. In case.

I walked straight into the glass door at Pandora too and bounced backwards into the street. It hurt. I then limped into the shop trying to look unruffled while the staff tried to pretend they were not nearly weeping with laughter.

Pandora clearly need to sort their shops layout out!

I love these threads and am another one who could fill it all by themselves

I had a recent accident that resulted in me being stretchered into a packed A and E in just spotted pyjama bottoms and one sock (in the middle of the day ) but the memory is still too traumatic for me to be able to mock myself yet

I will tell you that the very first time DH (then just BF) and I danced together (and I really wanted to impress him) I knocked myself unconscious

On one of our very first dates I strode through the restaurant glass door entrance to meet him inside and thought vaguely that it was odd I then had to make my way over a fairly tall display of plants. I had in fact just entered the restaurant through the window

He obviously loves me very much

johnny oh god I'm crying!!!

Apple stores and their stupid glass fronts -the number of near misses I've had with those isn't even funny...

I've done the bumping into windows thing too, looking at pretty jewellery :)

Okay this is not a physical injury one and I have told it before, but......

When I was heavily pg, DH and I went to the cinema to see Django. I desperately needed a wee but tried to hold it - then realised I couldn't. At the climactic final scene, I just got up and scooted out of my seat, down the central aisle, to duck out and find the loos. I tried to bend over a bit so I wouldn't obscure people's views.

Only, the exit to the loos was not at the front. It was off to one side. I only realised this when I had gone ALL THE WAY DOWN the central aisle and found myself confronting the giant screen, and then had to turn around and duck back to the real exit.

It was like some type of nightmare. What the other cinema-goers saw was, a woman with a giant belly running hunched over like some type of ungainly ape, scuttle to the front of the cinema, see the screen, rear up in horror blocking everyone's view, and dash back through the dark to the exit.

I still get all hot thinking about it.

Hilarious!

I was out with work colleagues at a leaving do at the Albanach in Trafalgar Square, London. Slightly tipsy, but not too drunk, I went to the loo and may have pulled the opaque glass cubicle door a little hard. As it slammed into place the entire door (safety glass) shattered into little pieces leaving me slightly crouched and holding a solitary metal handle surrounded by glass fragments and an exposed toilet.

I got out of there as quickly as possible (no one else was in there) and scuttled back to the table - still desperate for a wee - so that someone else could discover the carnage!

brilliant thread and very much needed round here

I have only read the first few posts but at

I was covered in giraffes and quite badly bruised

Oh god this is literally my whole life! I've done the 'from the depths of hell' belch before as well, but mine was so loud that a bouncer from a pub over the road from me looked up and asked 'was that you?' He seemed slightly impressed...

I've also discovered the trick is not to try and style it out like you're unhurt but to act like it hurt much more than it did. People laugh if they think it's minor, but if you seem hurt or dazed, then IME they come and try to help you. I once fell over flat going up a kerb and landed with such a loud bang that a man came over to help me even though I was with DH.

Who was the MNer who, waiting at a bus stop, leaned against a plate glass window outside Tesco Express in order to stop her floaty dress blowing upwards in the breeze? She was holding a shopping bag in each hand so couldn't grab her floaty skirt and thought she could trap the back of her skirt against the window whilst holding her bags against the front of her skirt. But she hadn't realised that the back of her dress had already blown upwards before she leaned against the window - treating a queue of people, waiting to pay, to the sight of her bum squashed against the window.

Lost my balance when the tube stopped and pretty much flew across the carriage, mostly landing on some poor guy's lap before sliding down onto the floor very dazed. My side from hip down to calf was black for ages too so I could barely stand up or hobble out. Still mortified thinking about it.

I'm always doing things like this though.

The other day I was in a public toilet and got so caught up trying to negotiate my spanx and tights that I waltzed out with my dress still hitched up around my waist Luckily I spotted myself in a full-length mirror and hastily tugged it down before too many people saw

This thread is GOLD, fudgefeet I can't stop laughing, you must have looked hilarious! And OP the image of your pirate-style sunglasses is priceless!

Natsku I'm torn between amusement and very serious disapproval at your cycling along whilst playing on your phone, but amusement is winning since I assume you learned your lesson (y'plonker)

I was in town in the shopping centre on a very very busy Saturday, escalators were pretty full ( I don't like being really close to other people ) so I thought oh i'll take the stairs which is right in the middle of both escalators going up and down, I start sort of jogging up them, stubbed the front of my shoe on the step and fell up about 4 of them I have never been so humiliated everyone looked heard a good few chuckles my face went red started burning up, I have never got up so fast and got out of town like that before in my life, I wanted the ground to swallow me up and I didn't know where to look so just fixed my gaze straight ahead

These are brilliant, sat here laughing my head off!!! I'm also super clumsy and will think of some to share later

I have done the classic walking into a lampost whilst out for a walk and checking my phone for my miles done!! It was alongside a main road so lots of people saw

I have a terrible knack of laughing at inappropriate moments and always when people fall or bump into things (obviously not if they are seriously hurt). When we were leaving the cinema once, everyone piled out of the door they had opened at the side of the seats. It was quite dark and we were following a couple who were busy chatting about the film. They had only opened one door and the doors were black. The woman of the couple walked full face into the closed door and even rebounded off it almost in to me and DH. I had to hide behind him to walk the rest of the exit and was trying so desperately not to laugh out loud but it was obvious to the people behind us and they started to giggle too.

Exactly the same thing OP, in the natural history museum. Tried to look a little closer, smacked my head off the glass and because I was crouching down, overbalanced and fell backwards. Then fell over again trying to get up because I was laughing like a hyena and couldn't see straight. My mum just walked off and pretended not to know me.

I fell off my bike outside school at pick up time. I had overloaded the back and the front wheel was a bit loose so it just went over when I turned. It looked like I just fell off for no reason at all in front of THE WHOLE SCHOOL.

Then I couldn't get up again because it was too heavy and I was pinned underneath. I decided my best option was to just wait to be rescued by one of the several million people doing the school run. It seemed best in the circumstances. I was already completely humiliated so I might as well have a little lie down.

I have done most of these. But I confirm my lack of style by turning into Joyce Grenfell and stuttering phrases like "oh, gosh" whilst looking around and smiling vaguely.

Just to seal the deal, you understand.

Just the other week I walked into the window at work No idea why, I was hanging up a poster and instead of turning and walking away I had a brain fart and decided to just step forwards into he glass instead SO embarrassed.

Also done this at the jewellerly shop

Howling at I was covered in giraffes and quite badly bruised

I have far too many, mostly from my drunken youth. Was pished once and fell over into a pile of bin bags - in front of the bloke I was utterly in love with at the time they were very squishy and I was very drunk so failed to get up for quite a while - just sort of flailed about like a turtle on its back mortified!

Oh god, I posted my window one on another thread, but I've also attempted to go down the escalator the wrong way in house of Fraser, and had to do a little running thing at the top to get back off, with the sales folks watching me .

I also once on the euro star put my iPod on full blast, put my little ear buds in and sat back, the woman next to be nudged me and said "that's terribly loud" at which point I realised the head phones were not plugged in correctly and I was playing it to the cabin. So I apologised to her and explained the headphones weren't in correctly and it wasn't meant.

Instead of just laughing or saying ok or whatever, she looked at me and said very very loudly " no one else wants to hear your music dear it really should be enough for you that you can".

I was really embarrassed, people were watching like I'd done it on purpose, even though she fully knew I hadn't.😳