AIBU to ask you all for your most PFB moments?

I set my alarm to go off every hour through out the night to... Look(?) at DD2. Fuck knows what I was thinking. I did think it was perfectly reasonable nay, sensible, at the time. To the extent I told the MW who did this

Kept a diary or every feed / meal and poo from day 3 to 1 year...

I actually still keep a log of poo's as DC has chronic constipation. He is now 4

Yes I have logged pun intended every shit from day 3 onwards....

Wow, this is all making me feel like a normal we'll adjusted mom compared to all you crazy lot!!

No one but me and DH held DS until he was 10 weeks but he'd been in hospital from birth however I'm sure they could have held him earlier realistically as we were on general paeds by then.

These are brilliant. I really like the one about removing a layer of clothes.
I refused to let DD1 eat sugar for her first year, even her birthday cake for 1st birthday was sugar free (and tasted awful tbh).
She didn't have sweets until she was 3. There was a lot of food paranoi. She didn't taste McDonalds until she was 7.
Now cake, sugar, sweets, chocolate are everyday snacks.
I'm sure I did loads more mental stuff but can't remember as it was 8 years ago.

I have an eleven week old DS who was born by EMCS six weeks early at 4lb, and spent 11 days in NICU...

So far, I have:

Cried so much worrying about SIDS that I made DH by the same sleep apnea monitor they use on NICU

Bought and sold a cocoonababy. The former to help DS sleep as obviously just any old bed wouldn't do, and the latter because I read sleep positioners can be dangerous and cause suffocation / SIDS. Then later bought a sleepyhead because DS looked so small when he napped...

Ordered TWELVE moisture catchers and a de-humidifier to rid our flat of any possible damp due to clothes drying indoors in the winter (the actual damp problem was fixed properly last year but naturally CERTAIN DEATH would occur due to magical new damp springing up despite no signs whatsoever of this happening)

Buying a cat net. Then deciding the cat would DEFINITELY jump on and get tangled in the net, either strangling or suffocating DS in the process. Promptly selling the net and ushering poor cat out of whatever room DS is in at any time.

All completely reasonable, of course!

I don't have kids but a friend of mine was properly arsey with me when she handed me her first baby to cuddle and then, when I handed him back, she could apparently detect a faint whiff of my perfume on his clothes. I'm still not sure why it was a problem. I know people like the 'baby smell' and all that but it's not like a hint of a pretty light and innocuous perfume on a babygro he would almost certainly be puking on was going to ruin him forever.

She is usually lovely so I think she was just overwhelmed and stressed to bits so soon after becoming a mum, which is totally understandable.

I was outraged that the shop was selling shorts in 9-12 months in the summer as that would mean PFB wearing shorts in the middle of winter!

Because y'know, there were no other babies on the planet

Hopping that is brilliant. Were you chilly without your coat?

I was so laid back with my pfb but when my second was born last year I wrote a note to my neighbours asking them to turn off their flashing Christmas lights in the evening as they were keeping us all awake...

I went in to check on my PFB while he was sleep, an hour or so after putting him down and he had this huge open weeping wound on his face :( I came out and told my sister and her boyfriend, went back had another look, had a feel of it at the edge but he moved (obviously because it hurt) so I came out and said I am going to have to take him to hospital. My sister went to look, came out similar. He boyfriend said could he look... He came out holding the 'wound' which was now just a bogey !

If you'd asked me a month ago I would have said the time I insisted DH brought our microwave to the hotel so DD had the exact same temperature milk........ However, I think I've surpassed myself, about a month ago whilst sitting in front of Milkshake for the first time one morning, I realised that we'd managed to get her to almost 5 without her seeing a single children's advert

For some reason thought I could only change her nappy on the changing station UPSTAIRS in her nursery... I felt like I spent my days walking up and down up and down the stairs! It never occurred to me to change her on a mat downstairs!

I had read that as a general rule when you go out your child should be wearing 1 more later than you. Got ready to take 6 week old Pfb out in her pram and noticed that we were both wearing THE SAME AMOUNT OF LAYERS !!!!!! As she seemed wrapped up enough already I did the only reasonable thing and removed my coat before going out.

This is one of my favouritest things ever; totally sums up what it's like in that fourth trimester madness (when it seems like the rest of the world is insane).

We warmed the Moses basket with a hot water bottle before putting him in it.

I have a friend who still won't give her DD a duvet as she thinks it will smother her (DD is 3).

It's really interesting seeing how many mums get panicky over PFB and then chill out with their second child - is this why I'm a whinging fusspot while my younger sister doesn't give a flying fuck about anything?!

(I once refused to let my mum hold DS on the grounds that she'd just drunk black coffee and the smell might upset him - WTAF? She likes to remind me of this whenever I drink black coffee at her place )

I used to warm the baby wipes before wiping her precious bum.

I did what a PP said about not walking down the stairs in my house with DS unless DH was walking ahead incase I tripped....: however that was only when DH finished his paternity leave! Until then I asked DH to carry him up and down the stairs as I was too scared

Not me but my brother and his wife spent hours trying their DS on many different foods- curries, chillies, pastas, raisins. No sweets.Got rid of their pets etc.

They skipped that with their DD born a year and a half later...she has been raised on chicken nuggets, chips and cake, and they have since got a dog.

You know, for all the mistakes I made with DC1, I'm really not sure I was even half as precious and utterly batshit as some of these posts.

I feel mediocre in the best possible way.

My mum put the fear of God into me about cats smothering babies and that it was practically a cat's sole aim in life to smother little babies. I stressed so much about this, then after about 3 weeks realised the cat couldn't actually stand my pfb due to all the crying, and had banished himself voluntarily to the back garden for 6 months. Same happened with number 2.

I walked up my road pulling the pram backwards so pfb didn't get sun in her eyes, even my friend who was with me and also very pfb couldn't stop laughing at me

For the first couple (maybe four) of Christmas's after DS was born we made everyone pull their Christmas cracker in the garden because he was scared of the bangs. They had to all do it at once too ha ha ha!

I couldn't put dd1 down for a sleep in her gro bag unless the sleeves of her baby grow matched it.I would literally change her from a perfectly good baby grow into another just because the sleeves clashed with the colour of the sleeping bag. I wanted her to look perfect even whilst asleep.I must have been utterly utterly bonkers.
By contrast I barely managed to bother getting dd2 dressed bar a nappy and a vest most of the time and she was quite happy.

Kept the room at 18 degrees as it was optimal temp to prevent cot death. Until someone gently advised that she was cold which was why she couldn't sleep.
Went into a fury when my dm gave her ice cream aged 18 months.
Washed her and her clothes after some random shook hands with her.

I had read that as a general rule when you go out your child should be wearing 1 more later than you.
Got ready to take 6 week old Pfb out in her pram and noticed that we were both wearing THE SAME AMOUNT OF LAYERS !!!!!!
As she seemed wrapped up enough already I did the only reasonable thing and removed my coat before going out.

Sil can almost top that though - she phoned me up to ask advice as her 3 month old pfb was unwell. I suggested a certain medicine and she said, "oh yes, I will give her some tomorrow " I enquired why she was waiting until tomorrow
" it says on the bottle from 3 months old and she's not 3 months old until tomorrow "
Even though me and DP tried to convince her it would be ok she reacted as if we were suggesting she give my niece crack!!