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Original poster

Fanny condensation

557 replies

ClopySow · 08/11/2016 21:46

On plastic chairs. Just me?

Please tell me it's not just me. It happened tonight at school parents meeting. Stood up after a nice chat with the maths teacher and there is it, the diamond shaped condensation patch of doom.

I nearly name changed because i am very embarrassed, but fuck it.

OP posts:

LockedOutOfMN · 11/11/2016 20:07

MotherFluffer Cross at the ankle or at the knee?

woowoowoo · 11/11/2016 20:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess · 11/11/2016 20:05

mother It annoys the hell out of me because I can never wear black knickers, and I'm really not a white pants kind of gal, if you know what I mean ...

woowoowoo · 11/11/2016 20:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MotherFluffer · 11/11/2016 20:01

I didn't have any trouble conceiving with my bleachy cunny, but I never get thrush ;)

Original poster

ClopySow · 11/11/2016 20:00

I am crying with laughter.

Fanny comdensation has gone viral.

Em...fucking ew.

OP posts:

Stevewilts · 11/11/2016 19:55

I regularly suffer Ball Fog especially after running - it seems the polyester retains moisture but of course it can happen anywhere you sit on a plastic or vinyl surface

Never spotted it after a lady has been sitting down - one doesn't look for it so ladies don't worry !

And for the record I've never heard a fanny trump in public anyway ;)

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess · 11/11/2016 19:43

mother Thank you! Am not the only one with 'bleached' gussets! (I may need to name change shortly....)

HeyToTheHo · 11/11/2016 19:41

Ffs now huffpo trawling mumsnet

[[http://Women Are Talking About Their 'Fanny Condensation' On Mumsnet And It's Too Much To Handle - The Huffington Post - UK
apple.news/AT_-pkGMgQtSnXeqMhjMHUg]]

MotherFluffer · 11/11/2016 19:39

Someone gave the tip of sitting cross legged - I ALWAYS sit crosslegged, feel uncomfortable otherwise, is this it? are you diamond doomers sitting 'flat'?

chrispenrallt1 · 11/11/2016 19:39

Have had to leave room as I have pissed myself laughing and I'm not even at my own house !!!!

Elendon · 11/11/2016 19:37

Oh and stay off the booze!

MotherFluffer · 11/11/2016 19:37

OK, this gets more interesting as we go along - i have a fat (cold) arse and a juicy, acidic minge which bleaches knickers, but i still dont get the diamond of doom. i cant figure out what the link is!? haha

Elendon · 11/11/2016 19:35

WTA Fuck?

There is NO SUCH THING AS FANNY CONDENSATION. Your vulva is not made of glass!

I suggest you get your blood pressure tested and also your cholesterol. If you are sweating so much then it is a medical problem.

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess · 11/11/2016 19:20

lego The Donna Summer clip reminds me of the phrase my friends and I used to use while clubbing - 'Disco Pussy'.

"I've got Disco Pussy"

"No worries, I've got wet wipes"

MerryMarigold · 11/11/2016 18:50

Well it seems we are talking about sweat AND condensation as you won't be getting fanny condensation on a hot day. Also where are these schools with freezing cold chairs. Most schools seem permanently overheated. Grateful I must have a lukewarm monte. Now boob sweat I definitely get and have to stuff tissues in my bra in summer.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 11/11/2016 18:06

This reminds me of a school trip I was on, music tour in 30 plus heat. Got to outside venue, set up, music teacher on electric piano. End of set, she calls me over frantically. "Fuckery, i CANT GET UP!" I summoned a few girls to pretend to be packing up gear, whilst we hurriedly tied a sweat shirt round her waist ( and got rid of the triangle of shame) The rest of the tour there was a towel on the piano stool.
I love hot monte, excellent misprint.

AuldAlliance · 11/11/2016 17:59

Oh, God, yes, science stool arse.
Particularly heinous with thick wool tights.
Made concentration impossible, and the more you wriggled the worse it got.
Who knows what strides women could have made in science had we not all been too busy sliding around the stools to listen...

Verbena37 · 11/11/2016 17:44

Sit cross legged on one one bum cheek.

BoffinMum · 11/11/2016 17:34

Monkey 1978 Science stool arse has probably held back the progress of women into science, engineering and technology by decades.

Think on that.

FurryLittleTwerp · 11/11/2016 17:23

I'm imagining coordinated twist-and-slide routines as women's meetings finish all over the place now.

MrsSippy · 11/11/2016 16:03

Oh this thread is fab! Not RTFT but must add I was once perched on a table at the front of a class, happily teaching a group of 25 Y10 boys sommat or other. I jumped off the table to pace (as I do, I wave my arms about a lot as well!!) turned round and there was the triangle of terror, the Hot Monte there for all to see I developed my twist and slide routine that very day