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Original poster

Fanny condensation

557 replies

ClopySow · 08/11/2016 21:46

On plastic chairs. Just me?

Please tell me it's not just me. It happened tonight at school parents meeting. Stood up after a nice chat with the maths teacher and there is it, the diamond shaped condensation patch of doom.

I nearly name changed because i am very embarrassed, but fuck it.

OP posts:
Givemestrengthorwine · 09/11/2016 14:37

Fanny condensation 😂😂😂
Lol, in school we all do the twist n slide.
Cotton undies, yes, but smart black trousers are viscose stuff and nylon mix fabrics, they are awful!
I sit on cardi/ jacket/coat because 'the chairs are uncomfortable' ! 😉

cjt110 · 09/11/2016 14:34

Thanks Panda - At least we share moist, wiffy foofs!

spiderlight · 09/11/2016 14:34

This used to happen to me all the time at school. I'd repressed it until now! I recall that I was very adept at getting up and pushing my chair under the desk in one swift movement, and I used to look forward to PE days because I could keep my Pe shorts on under my skirt for the rest of the day to mitigate the issue.

smoothieooo · 09/11/2016 14:33

This is so me. Always at DS's school too (last time in front of dishy guy who was in to do a presentation for parents). I'm taking a cushion in my bag next time. Thanks for making me feel better OP!

Horsepower9 · 09/11/2016 14:33

Hahahaha love this thread....., my friend wants me to add' Cunny Cough' to the names..

PandaInTheMorning · 09/11/2016 14:26

Cjt110- no solutions for you but this happens to me too with those type of trousers.

Hopefully someone will be along with a useful suggestion.

MrTCakes · 09/11/2016 14:20

Dewy diamond! Ah ha ha ha.

I left one on a plastic chair as I got up to leave an interview. I stopped and looked at it. Interview panel just stared on in silence. I left.

As diamonds go it was at least 50 carat.

T0ldmywrath · 09/11/2016 14:20

I've left patches on a plastic chair & I usually just say, blimey the seat's wet.
I never realised I should be mortificado! But I'll probably be more self conscious from now on Blush

I just thought it was sweat.

smEGGtoplasm · 09/11/2016 14:19

YES!

Thank you all. Thank you it's so nice to have found my beaver breath buddies.

This happens to me. And has done since high school. I too have developed the twist and slide over the years.

Mortificado sounds like a Harry Potter spell

cjt110 · 09/11/2016 14:18

Anyone?

RentANDBills · 09/11/2016 14:14

The Chuff Cloud?!

I thought it was only me. Thank God for that.

D0ggyBurns · 09/11/2016 14:09

I blame Donald Trump!

famousfour · 09/11/2016 14:06

ShockShock I had no idea. Now paranoid.

Jointhejoyrun75 · 09/11/2016 13:57

This reminds me of when we were on hols earlier this year in Spain. I'd just had a very hot sweaty walk in 35 degrees C or thereabouts, we were invited on our way home (so no chance to freshen up) to a family friends apartment. Beautifully done up inside, with gorgeous and pristine fabric armchairs, one of which I was told to sit on while given a coffee. Got up to go after a nice chat and coffee, glanced back at my chair to see if I'd left anything, and yes, by the looks of the diamond shaped damp patch the minge drip was in full force, no mist for me. Mortifying. I am sure they would have noticed.

cjt110 · 09/11/2016 13:57

Hoping this could be an appropriate thread for my issue:

I dont get the patch of doom but as I sit all day work in an office, I am mostly seated. I find if I wear work trousers, yknow the kind like school trousers, I get moist and it smells :( Any suggestions on how to resolve this embarrassing issue?

Optimist1 · 09/11/2016 13:52

Could it be that the scientists investigating global warming are looking in the wrong place (fellow culprit here)? Wink

TheFlyingFauxPas · 09/11/2016 13:51

Oh I used to hate this at school - that time of your life when you. are. embarrassed. by. everything. Sad Wooden seats fine, plastic seats (especially stools in lab which were a fetching shade of mustard) I'd sit there and by the end of the lesson I'd feel so damp I'd think I'd started my period and be terrified of standing up. (Especially if it was a double period - bedum tshhhh Grin )

Fluffycloudland77 · 09/11/2016 13:47

I think it's all the polyester we wear now.

I use antiperspirant around that area which Dh assures me is not sexy.

PandaInTheMorning · 09/11/2016 13:44

Thank god it's not just me.

Most embarrassing time was when I was about 15/16, getting a back massage at the local community centre on a massage chair that you have to sort of straddle.

I stood up afterwards and saw it and my face went a deep shade of purple.Sad I did enjoy the massage but not that much. BlushI never went back after that.

FranklyMeDeer · 09/11/2016 13:44

Last time this happened to me was about a month ago at fat club

So I thought it was because I is fat

But I'm assuming the foggy fannies on this thread are attached to a broad range of shapes and sizes of woman, which makes me feel a bit better about it tbh

Redesul · 09/11/2016 13:42

I used to get that... Thankfully due to the gigantic baby I had three and a half years ago, I now wear Always Dailies a lot of the time. Soaks up the damp quite nicely.

chipsandgin · 09/11/2016 13:40

Literally never heard of or thought about this ever in my life - am now wondering if I have obliviously been breezing out of rooms leaving the diamond of shame behind me!? Or perhaps I have an icy foof. So confused!

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 09/11/2016 13:35

This happens to me all the time in the canteen at work. Clearly the new all plastic chairs were chosen by a MAN

Mind you, nothing compares to the shuffle I had to do to wipe off the little pool of blood I'd left on there once Blush

BorpBorpBorp · 09/11/2016 13:33

Always, all my life. I call it buttsweat.

D0ggyBurns · 09/11/2016 13:31

All.The.Time! Although the bike at the gym is the worst - there's a little channel on the seat!..............

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