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Original poster

Fanny condensation

557 replies

ClopySow · 08/11/2016 21:46

On plastic chairs. Just me?

Please tell me it's not just me. It happened tonight at school parents meeting. Stood up after a nice chat with the maths teacher and there is it, the diamond shaped condensation patch of doom.

I nearly name changed because i am very embarrassed, but fuck it.

OP posts:
FallowfieldHillbilly · 09/11/2016 18:12

Yes! Since my school days when I called it wet widgy. Blush While we're on the subject of minges of mayhem does anyone suffer a bleachy crotch? Don't pretend you don't have knickers in your drawers where the gusset is slowly changing colour. :o

Original poster
ClopySow · 09/11/2016 18:08

Fanny Condensation is indeed a great female protaganist. I'm considering a name change. Do i own the rights?

OP posts:
Original poster
ClopySow · 09/11/2016 17:48

Shotsfired

I practically do the full length version of Chubby Checker's Twist on getting out of any car which is non-fabric seats now

Wheezy laughed at that

OP posts:
HoobleDooble · 09/11/2016 17:36

I spent a few years working on supermarket checkouts, the combination of nylon uniform and checkout seat used to be delightful on warm days. One lady I worked with was well known for leaving behind a squelchy chair ... to the point that you'd have to slip a carrier bag over it so that you didn't drown during your shift!

P1nkP0ppy · 09/11/2016 17:35

.... fart around leaving their seat.....
Don't tell me you literally do this to dry the seat off Shock looks around for pearls to clutch

I'm taking a cushion with me in future!

TwinkleMumsie · 09/11/2016 17:31

I thought it was just meBlush

Fauchelevent · 09/11/2016 17:30

Fanny Condensation is a great name for a strong female protagonist.

Outnumbrd · 09/11/2016 17:29

Never thought of it as steam though, thought it was sweat. Feel quite proud of it now.

Outnumbrd · 09/11/2016 17:26

Yessss! But never discussed this with anyone!! I always take my coat off and sit on it to avoid it! If no coat i do the slide and shuffle in anticipation of it being there.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 09/11/2016 17:25

In sixth form, thanks to a mishearing, this was known as a 'stetty clittyus'.

Evergreen17 · 09/11/2016 17:21

Oh my oh my GrinGrinGrin
So not the only one. I never thought of twist and slide but instead I have done the -let me sit on the edge for a bit before I stand up to allow evaporation to take place- and the -let me quickly put my bag on this chair to make sure I have my keys and wipe the chair-
It happens
Awful

KatieScarlett · 09/11/2016 17:14

Does no one ever pull out the topic their big knickers slightly and feel hot foof blast?
Just me then Blush

dudsville · 09/11/2016 17:11

Thanks for this cheer up! I reckon I have a mid hid setting on mine as it can be warmer than the rest of me but still comfortably room temperature for chairs... also there aren't any plastic chairs at work. Also I will go forth professing that I have never sat in a plastic chair (how do you are fare on wood?).

SongforSal · 09/11/2016 17:02

It happens to us all :(

Went for Sunday dinner/Bbq type thing at my sisters back in the summer.
Came in and sat on her new leather sofa.
I had on a lovely dress (That's not relevant. Just thought I'd share it was a bloody lovely dress)
Anyway. Went to stand up, and I was, er, kinda 'vacummed' to the sofa.
Proper stuck. I managed to stand up and peel my sweaty legs and vag of the sofa. And I was mortified.
I left behind a perfect leg/Arse/manky muff style print.
It was arty in a way I suppose.
Also. I won't ever sit on a leather sofa in a dress in the summer again.

FromIbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 09/11/2016 17:00

Mumsnet at it's best. I love you all Grin

I've had a really shit week culminating in me blubbing at work today but you've made me laugh so much.

And as I've recently changed names I feel I too can put my hand up and admit to this, especially at the gym.

LockedOutOfMN · 09/11/2016 17:00

To those who've never experienced this, I've only started post-35, and post moving to a warm country. So for some people, diamond-free seat-leaving may be a key benefit of living in the freezing, post-Brexit U.K.

buckingfrolicks · 09/11/2016 16:53

So now I understand why so msmtwimen fart arse around leaving their seat! Honestly it used to irritate me the way some women would strand, sit, stand; or stand, do a major bag faff, then leave; or simply seathover. I used to think just sit properly woman ffs!

It all makes sense now.

And yes I am a woman and I've probably left these myself but never knew

foxychox · 09/11/2016 16:45

cjt - www.amazon.co.uk/Isla-Womens-Seam-free-Workout-Bikini/dp/B00PGLM65U/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1478709841&sr=8-3&keywords=sweat+wicking+knickers
People raved about them, they must have a lot less minge mist than me is all I can say....

Mysterycat23 · 09/11/2016 16:38

Frequently. More so when I was a wee teen.

Ghodavies · 09/11/2016 16:34

I'm a mum of competitive swimmers.
Try a hot environment and a 4hr sit on a plastic seat!!!!
Yuck

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 09/11/2016 16:32

Cjt- I find that happens with too tight cheap trousers. Buy better!

singleandfabulous · 09/11/2016 16:28

Brilliant. I'm smirking at this thread.

I nominate for classics too.

SapphireStrange · 09/11/2016 16:10

Are you all going commando or something?

Certainly not.

That's not a euphemism, BTW.

cjt110 · 09/11/2016 16:07

foxychox WTF are "sweat wicking knickers"?

donajimena · 09/11/2016 16:07

I don't think this has ever happened to me. But I'm now wondering if I've proudly left my diamonds for the world to see...