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Original poster

Fanny condensation

557 replies

ClopySow · 08/11/2016 21:46

On plastic chairs. Just me?

Please tell me it's not just me. It happened tonight at school parents meeting. Stood up after a nice chat with the maths teacher and there is it, the diamond shaped condensation patch of doom.

I nearly name changed because i am very embarrassed, but fuck it.

OP posts:
MrTCakes · 09/11/2016 23:11

Zoflorabore Don't forget to ZoFlo after your twist n slide practice (the chair, not your chuff...)

0urKid · 09/11/2016 23:10

I'm rather taken with RussetGusset or BleachyCrotch. :o

PussyPatches · 09/11/2016 22:47

I'm rather enjoying it FookyNell. Hope you don't mind.

It was a toss up between this and BeaverBreath

FookyNell · 09/11/2016 22:39

PussyPatches

You name changed to my phrase!

I feel like MN royalty Wink

FabulouslyGlamourousFerret · 09/11/2016 22:33

Oh god - I get the diamond of doom too ... today I was sat on a table at work (school) , now those green school tables may as well sound a klaxon as you shuffle off them!BlushBlush

Zoflorabore · 09/11/2016 22:07

Yay! Thank god I saw this in time as it's parents evening for ds tomorrow night and I too am inflicted with the " misty muff " that would look great on a sick noteGrin
Practising my twisting and sliding now, kitchen at front of house and blinds up so anyone looking in will think I've lost the plot.
Will be looking around the hall tomorrow night for the twisters and sliders.
P.s someone could take this to dragons den and invent a condensation reducer type thingy, seems many of us would need it.

FishSauce555 · 09/11/2016 22:07

Fucking hell yes.

Always at the hairdressers on thier bloody leather chairs after I've been swamped in that polyester sack they put on you.

Will try the twist next time, never thought of that!

kelper · 09/11/2016 21:59

God I get this as well, theres far too much polyester in the world today :(
But I'm glad to know I'm not alone, and when i win the lottery Ill wear Cotton trousers all the time just kidding, ill be in a bikini in the caribbean

JedRambosteen · 09/11/2016 21:58

Or Beaver Breath Be-Gone!

JedRambosteen · 09/11/2016 21:58

If they made special foof talc for this it could be called 'Diamond Dust.'

Littlewoo · 09/11/2016 21:54

Maybe something like this would help?
www.facebook.com/TMSmediaUSA/videos/1106669809448630/
Or would that trap the condensation making the crotch like a swimming pool?
I'm thinking a quick spray of the plastic seat before sitting down may do the trick.Grin

Uiscebeatha85 · 09/11/2016 21:46

Oh the old fanny condensation 😞Sit on coat/cardigan/scarf. Jobs a goodun 👍

Pollyanna9 · 09/11/2016 21:44

Yes I saw that male bollock grooming advert! In the 20s/30s well to do gentleman's butler would talc their nuts before helping them put their pants on. It's attempting to be the modern equivalent of that!

FromIbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 09/11/2016 21:43

Below The Belt web page.
Products are called "Fresh and Dry Balls" and "Instant Clean Balls" and the tagline is "Your balls are safe in our hands"

I'm sure this thread would provide some great inspiration for any product designers/advertising execs looking for names and taglines for the female version Grin

Original poster
ClopySow · 09/11/2016 21:36

I think we're not allowed to talk about womens hygiene in real life fromibiza unless it's using strange blue liquid. We're supposed to pretend that women are perfect and clean. Unless we're saying they're dirty and smelly and smell like fish. I suppose that's the reason we're all so fucking relieved at this thread. Men with sweaty balls - grrrr manly. Women with sweaty fannies - ew dirty.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 09/11/2016 21:34

Omg, I've never had this, and I'm genuinely shocked. I mean,,,really? Wtf?

FromIbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 09/11/2016 21:30

OMG I was reading this thread with TV on in the background and on the advert break of 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown was a product called Below The Belt - male grooming to avoid sweaty balls!!

No mention of a female equivalent.

Original poster
ClopySow · 09/11/2016 21:26

Fancy condensation is my favourite mistake so far pussypatches

It is after all rather a fancy type of condensation.

OP posts:
ShatnersBassoon · 09/11/2016 21:22

Yes, yes, yes to the bloody Disney buses! I appeared to be marking my territory on every journey. There was a lot of full arse prints from other passengers though, so I was practically pointing my neat little damp diamond out.

gingerboy1912 · 09/11/2016 21:10

Yep happened to me at work in hospital, sat down, was boiling hot as I'd been rushing around. Senior member of staff came in and I was sat on her chair I got up to let her sit down and there was a huge long streak of ass sweat on the chair. We both looked at the chair then at each other. I prayed that it would evaporate almost instantly like when you breathe on a window or mirror but no it just stayed there. I was mortified BlushBlush

CheddarIsNotTheOnlyCheese · 09/11/2016 21:08

Yes Russet Gusset! I'm amongst friends.

SpecialLittleLady · 09/11/2016 21:07

I suffer from a sweating fanny, diamond of shame and bleatchy black pants. I use antiperspirant spray and panty liners to avoid BO BUM Blush thank you for this thread

SpermThroughASashWindow · 09/11/2016 20:57

Yes! Yes! Yes! I get this all the time. It once happened once on a Disney World coach. I stood up, a triangle of sweat was left behind. A small boy pointed at it and his dad told him not to sit down! 😳

Evergreen17 · 09/11/2016 20:52

This is the best thread ever Grin DH keeps asking "what are you laughing at" I am in tears.
I got to the "bleachy crotch" bit and had to stop

Asteptoofarforme · 09/11/2016 20:30

This is the best thread in ages and definitely needs to be moved to Classics.

I've had tears running down my face Grin

I too suffer from a misty minge. I get the dread come over me when I'm at the hairdressers and know it's nearly time to get up. I am so glad the chair slide move has been shared.

And yes, yes to rusty brown gussets in my black pants. This has come up several times with friends and I think I remember a thread on here about it. I always make sure the gusset is turned inwards when hanging out my knickers.