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Original poster

Went in a cafe of the wrong class today. [sad face]

580 replies

TiggyD · 27/10/2016 17:51

There were 2 cafes near each other. I picked the wrong one. I'm lower middle class and the cafe was for middle middle class to about lower upper class. I should have guessed by the little accent they put over the 'e' in the name.

I went in and up to the counter and asked for a sausage roll and a hot chocolate and they didn't give it to me. I was told to go sit at a table. My sausage roll came served on a plate with salad which, and you might not believe this, somebody had drizzled on! I'm guessing it was basil oil or some such frippery, although the cafe with an accent was next to a boating lake the same colour.

I should have gone to the other one where I'm sure I could have just taken the sausage roll in a bag or on a paper plate without being drizzled at. Sad

It's hard being English.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
21
scaryclown · 28/10/2016 20:35

Eternal Beau sounds like a faux posh Gentleman's shoe adviser..

'Pull tight enough that your shoe is tight but doesn't pinch..and tie off with the Eternal Beau. .'

SpeckledyBanana · 28/10/2016 20:31

I thought Woollies sold Eternal Beau in the 80s?

goose1964 · 28/10/2016 20:29

Love this but would like to correct poster above , Eternal Beau wasn't M&S or 90s as we had it as our wedding present in the 80s

usual · 28/10/2016 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scaryclown · 28/10/2016 20:20

I am on a debt management budget, yet even though Gweggs Sandwiches are quite nice and really good value, i just can't deal with the sort of insular self-hating fog i leave with if I buy one.

In fact even posting about it makes me feel a notch more depressed. I do think there is something about some places that says 'thou shalt not admit being here' even to yourself.

but similarly i long for three hands so i can hold both ends of the next Internet grooming vine enhanced wax moustache i see bending over my flat white AND punch him in the face.

dont get me started on faux mc and over polished twat shoes with fridge-kept jeans...

hopeful31yrs · 28/10/2016 20:20

So went to greggs. Jam doughnuts were a waste of time - they used to have the powdery sugar rather than the grainy sugar shakes head. My pregnancy craving is not satisfied.

MaQueen · 28/10/2016 20:15

Serviettes eewwwww Shock

How on Earth did I sink so low as to find myself on the same thread as someone using the word... serviettes??

[Twitches skirts aside in distaste...]

SpeckledyBanana · 28/10/2016 20:12

Get a chicken oval bite too. Best sandwich ever.

SpeckledyBanana · 28/10/2016 20:11

Always say yes to more water. It's essentially another cup of tea and is always welcome.

MaQueen · 28/10/2016 20:11

As God is my witness, I have never yet set foot inside a Gregg's.

Tomorrow, I shalt sally forth and purchase a sausage role from a Gregg's, because clearly I have never lived.

pontificationcentral · 28/10/2016 20:10

Fiderer you must be in Deutschland. They feed fennel tea to newborns as well. When I had dd1 there was almost a total standoff in the hospital requiring translators, as a group of British mothers had just realised their precious new shiny babas were lined up in the nursery being given tea instead of being offered breast. Why this was surprising them when they had been offered homeopathy instead of gas and air only hours earlier was a mystery to me. Especially when they had to stop swilling their nethers in chamomile in order to protest. So many uses for tea. You wouldn't get that in the caff.

falange · 28/10/2016 19:50

I was in a poncy cafe once. They asked me if I wanted extra hot water with my tea. I said no because I couldn't understand how water could be any hotter than boiling. How we laughed when my pal explained that it was just some more water. P.s. I'm working class/lower working class/have actually been underclass at one point

sparechange · 28/10/2016 19:25

OP, while your experience was unfortunate, let's spare a thought for the real victims of cafe culture mistakes
www.google.co.uk/amp/www.standard.co.uk/news/london/caf-customer-calls-police-after-he-was-served-the-wrong-type-of-tea-a3335251.html%3Famp?client=safari

CersieSeemsNice · 28/10/2016 18:59

I'm a bit aghast that no-one has noticed that a pp mentioned 'serviettes' (shudder).Serviettes are indicative of a lower class establishment. If said establishment has napkins, then one can be reassured that one is in a higher class environment. Napkins also tend to be a bit thicker and better for wiping HP sauce off one's fingers.

KatieScarlett · 28/10/2016 18:57

Today, I scored an invite to the local Greggs shopping drinking Christmas day out.
THATS how much I frequent their establishment.
(Twirls clutching a falafel wrap)

Fiderer · 28/10/2016 18:48

leek ash and truffle oil

A vegetable funeral and a creaky squeaky urn?

starsorwater · 28/10/2016 18:47

Foxes was it 'leek, ash and truffle oil'? because if so just an honest but faggy management and so to be applauded.

SweetChickadee · 28/10/2016 18:44

It's like old mumsnet of yore, this thread... luffly

libra101 · 28/10/2016 18:42

This is the funniest thread on Mumsnet, ney, the flippin' internet!

Definitely one for the weekend newsletter.

Can't stop giggling.

FoxesOnSocks · 28/10/2016 18:40

I couldn't figure out (I'm such a positive soul I find it hard to be negative you see)

Jaxhog · 28/10/2016 18:39

If no-one else has already suggested it, I would suggest the OP go to the thread that is discussing reverse snobbery. This is a perfect example.

FoxesOnSocks · 28/10/2016 18:39

I was given a menu today one of the dishes has 'leek ash and truffle oil', I was so discombobulated that I could figure out the class of the place but I figured in hindsight it is probably middle middle with a upward leaning to middle higher middle middle

Original poster
TiggyD · 28/10/2016 18:38

It should be pointed out that Earl Grey is dead.

And when I say dead, I mean really dead. Not nearly dead but might pull through if he's lucky, but dead as a dormouse. Think of somebody dead, well Earl Grey is easily as dead, if not deader. You can text him all you want but there's no chance of him ever getting back to you.

Tells you all you need to know about his tea.

I believe his wife is quite exceptionally dead as well.

OP posts:
starsorwater · 28/10/2016 18:34

Think not lower middle class as it is generally upper middle onwards who are no good at money sums.

GrinchyMcGrincherson · 28/10/2016 18:33

Grinchy Don't all Greggs have electronic tills these days? Although we did do it all in our heads when I worked there in the early 90s.

Tbh I've no clue. I've not been in one for years. Greggs is too classy for us these days cos we have a pound bakery...

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