Went in a cafe of the wrong class today. [sad face]

was dammit

Thread hijack alert!

Fid am en route today to Washington. If oonly our own dear Jed Bartlet were really campaigning!

As you were

Fiderer - if you don't yet own the classic book 'The Meaning of Liff', you really need to get it.

Some of the references may be a little dated - is there still anywhere which serves a trio of 'relishes' with burgers ( a green one, a red one and a yellow one) ? And do they do it ironically?

Apocryphal story from The Telegraph, April 2015:

Labour grandee Peter Mandelson once mistook a Hartlepool fish and chip shop's mushy peas for the avocado dip guacamole.

Hot tubs are not mc. They're on a par with Sky television, surely????

Am in landlocked Forrin and have had a yearning for the Norfolk coast for a while.

Highlight of my year so far was therefore going to Wells-Next-The-Sea during half term. Greatly enjoyed the town & village names. FidGirl did a work placement in a town a way away from here last school year and when texting her to make sure she got there OK I dropped in the breaking news from BBC East via satellite that the road from Fakenham to Little Snoring was blocked.

Became a habit for the 2 weeks. She & I were thrilled to drive through Great Witchingham and my brother thought us loopy to insist on a detour to Great and Little Snoring. Just reading the map was sigh-inducing pleasure.

If I'd had a sausage roll or pork pie that day I may well have expired through happiness.

Talc

I'm glad we're not the only ones who called them Happy Pukers!

tea with Carnation milk is awesome! I would have married him. different strokes and all that......

He had many other talents that in hindsight were marriage material. Maybe not the leather trousers though!

I know with certainty that I would be rebuffed from every establishment n Burnham Market. I look well shit in Breton and I used to think that the curly sausage in Wimpy was the mutts re sophisticated dining as a child.

Hassled - despite my tirade above, I did once have a giant sausage in a hoagie with wholegrain mustard at a Happy Eater.

It was bloody lovely. I've never admitted that in public before.

Toast - you've learned what Burnham Market is like the hard way. There are so many rules in Burnham Market it's almost like there are no rules; whatever you do, however you look, whatever food you wish to purchase - it'll be unacceptable.

Happy Eaters were the height of modern sophistication in my youth. I remember the absolute treat of stopping at one once where it was colder inside than it was outside, and it was snowing outside. We didn't care - we were in a Happy Eater.

How one existed before the arrival of Waitrose at service stations I cannot think.

I'd like to toss Happy Eater into the mix.

Which branding executive thought it a good idea to have the logo of a chap thrusting his fingers down his gullet as a tempting invitation to come in and sample the fare on offer?

I did darken the portals of a Happy Puker once - it was out of sheer desperation somewhere on the A31. The place was deserted; one rather folorn member of staff in a jaunty red apron and baseball cap was pushing an extra wide broom around between the tables.

We've run out of evryfink he announced but I can do you some bread an' butter.

I was able to resist this sincere proposal; I had a feeling that hand washing might not occur. Onwards to Bere Regis, where a Ginsters Cardboard Slice filled the gastric void.

It is testament to the British motoring public that chains such as these were allowed to flourish. My children thought it some sort of treat to stop at a Shitty Elf, gawd knows why.

I can join in! I'm in New York and today in Greenwich which was knee deep in hairy faced hipsters DH, DS (Leaders in their field in despising all leafed foodstuff) and I were served drizzled watercress with eggs, bacon and home fries.

The sat dumbfounded, while I said "blimey wait til Mumnet hear this" and summonsed a spare plate to evict the offending vegetation. The waitress seemed unsurprised and I clocked the same on every table until we left.

Chips with a fry up is obligatory.

Wimpy v Little Chef?? Little Chef wins hands down for me.

What is the status of a greasy-spoon-looking cafe that serves CHIPS with their fried breakfast?

Other indications include pictures of food and the coloured cardboard stars.

BOOP - garden centre? You can't trust them, especially in the 4 months before xmas. They have no idea any more what or who they are for. You need to find a nursery.

" I was once served tea with Carnation milk by a new boyfriend. I almost dumped him "

tea with Carnation milk is awesome! I would have married him.

That's just so wrong, vanilla, I feel your pain.

I am in some rather piss poor botanical gardens and there is NO cafe, with an accent or without. I don't care if it serves Hibiscus tea using filtered water from Fiji or just plain old Builder's Tar - I just want a cup of tea!!!!!

Vets

I was once served tea with Carnation milk by a new boyfriend. I almost dumped him but he was from Ghana so I put it down to "culture" and gave him the benefit of the doubt.

I don't think it's cultural - my nana used to serve tea with carnation milk and she was from Cardiff. Mind you she did have a dalliance with a man from Guyana that resulted in DF so maybe this was another type of cultural exchange.

I thought I was relatively at home in my nice-ish but not too nice ordinary town.

Then I went out for breakfast on Friday to my usual cafe in the local garden centre. I like to think the middle class ness of the garden centre will be offset by the fry up in the cafe.

It came with smashed avocado. It's like I don't know myself any more