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Original poster

Went in a cafe of the wrong class today. [sad face]

580 replies

TiggyD · 27/10/2016 17:51

There were 2 cafes near each other. I picked the wrong one. I'm lower middle class and the cafe was for middle middle class to about lower upper class. I should have guessed by the little accent they put over the 'e' in the name.

I went in and up to the counter and asked for a sausage roll and a hot chocolate and they didn't give it to me. I was told to go sit at a table. My sausage roll came served on a plate with salad which, and you might not believe this, somebody had drizzled on! I'm guessing it was basil oil or some such frippery, although the cafe with an accent was next to a boating lake the same colour.

I should have gone to the other one where I'm sure I could have just taken the sausage roll in a bag or on a paper plate without being drizzled at. Sad

It's hard being English.

OP posts:
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JuanPotatoTwo · 27/10/2016 21:49

Oh this thread has reminded me of a friend I made when the dc were small. She rang me one day and hissed "Quick - wtf is a gougon? Do I say 'yes please' or tell him to fuck off?" Grin

She later told me she'd been on a date with a well fit bloke but she didn't understand half the things he said to her.

usual · 27/10/2016 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PacificDogwod · 27/10/2016 21:48

I like going in to Starbuck's/Costa/any other chain of purveyors of coffee and ask for 'a coffee', then stand back and see what happens.
Oh, the confusion, the glorious confusion!

The best coffee is the one that used to be made in the staff room of a hospital ward in Germany where I trained. Filter coffee machine was always on, whoever took the last cup of coffee made another pot that was left on the hotplate for everybody to help themselves. A teaspoon would stand up all by itself in what was left in that pot near the end, but it was gloriously bitter and sweat and aromatic and an absolute godsend at 5am or the middle of a fraught shift or the end of a traumatic one at handover time.

ladydepp · 27/10/2016 21:48

I went to the wrong café. Ordered poached eggs on toast for my 7 year old. They came with chilli flakes on. FFS.

MaQueen · 27/10/2016 21:47

Pot pourri is right up there with M&S Eternal Beau crockery, wallpaper borders and scatter cushions, for early 90s nastiness...

paxillin · 27/10/2016 21:45

You need to avoid cafés with philosophical musings on blackboards. They are the worst.

StrumpersPlunkett · 27/10/2016 21:43

Love this thread. Thank you for proper titters
My cafe of choice has a hot chocolate menu with 6 types of chocolate and 5 types of milk.
However directly opposite is the full English for £3.99 cafe. Everyone catered for. 🙂

PikachuSayBoo · 27/10/2016 21:43

I love matcha lattes and also Five Guys.

But will lower The tone and confess to a freezer full of Greggs sausage rolls.

Fink · 27/10/2016 21:42

As a lower-middle to middle-middle (definitely NOT aspirational), I was amused by the deference with which I was treated in a truckers' cabin caff with pre-school DD. The guy working there called me 'Miss' literally every 3rd or 4th word ('Madam' appears to have virtually disappeared as a form of address amongst most retail staff around here). I was clearly the only woman to have darkened their doors for quite a while. Bloody good cup of tea.

SlottedSpoon · 27/10/2016 21:41

Is this a joke? A reverse?

Grin You cannot possibly be British is you need to ask that with a straight face.

thissismyusername · 27/10/2016 21:40

when servants in cafeterias ask which type of tea i would like i often reply 'british rail', but the artisan often doesn't get it - being under 50 - and just looks puzzled/smug.

Alconleigh · 27/10/2016 21:39

Root vegetable 'chips'?! I'd do time if I were served those in a pub. I can barely tolerate the sweet potato 'chip'. I like sweet potato. Nothing against it per se. It doesn't make chips though. Those aren't chips.

I feel quite strongly about chips.

HemanOrSheRa · 27/10/2016 21:38

Why, thank you Pacific. Judging by DS I am rather good at it Grin.

MaQueen · 27/10/2016 21:36

lambzig my pleasure...Smile

MrsDilligaf · 27/10/2016 21:36

What the fluck is Matacha Latte? Never heard of such a thing.

I am intrigued about this Baby Tapas though...wonder what it is? Pom bears? Bits of banana?

I'm gonna go to Greggs tomorrow and get me a sausage roll with dipping sauce. I might even go in my pyjamas.

BitOutOfPractice · 27/10/2016 21:35

I'm sorry for your troubles OP Flowers

paxillin · 27/10/2016 21:35

Our pub recently had a class transplant. Went from perfectly good boozer to artisanal craft yeasty wheat beers you try before you buy and rock salt on root vegetable "chips".

SpeckledyBanana · 27/10/2016 21:29

YY to proper mugs of tea.

I used to work in a canteen where a huge pot of tea was kept warm on a hotplate. Best tea ever.

PacificDogwod · 27/10/2016 21:29

DS was mortified and went and stood outside.

Grin

That made me properly larf out loud - I aspire to mortify my DSs in public. Kudos.

PabloEscobarReallyLovesHisKids · 27/10/2016 21:29

My local chippy does a fritter that's made of all the leftover bits of food scooped up and fried. Its simply called a fritter so it doesn't sound as yucky

2kids2dogsnosense · 27/10/2016 21:28

my daughter had to stop me from stealing one

That would NOT be theft . . .

. . . it is "An Homage" . . . Grin

Undersmile · 27/10/2016 21:27

Maybe the gravy would be like those Herman cakes, and reproduce itself if left alone?

Undersmile · 27/10/2016 21:26

"Cheezy paintings"? Shock hazeyjane, how very dare you? Those are Tretchikoff!

usual · 27/10/2016 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ErrolTheDragon · 27/10/2016 21:25

I have never heard of Five Guys before.

That gravy would have developed its own unique microbiology - like artisanal sourdough or blue cheeses.