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Original poster

Went in a cafe of the wrong class today. [sad face]

580 replies

TiggyD · 27/10/2016 17:51

There were 2 cafes near each other. I picked the wrong one. I'm lower middle class and the cafe was for middle middle class to about lower upper class. I should have guessed by the little accent they put over the 'e' in the name.

I went in and up to the counter and asked for a sausage roll and a hot chocolate and they didn't give it to me. I was told to go sit at a table. My sausage roll came served on a plate with salad which, and you might not believe this, somebody had drizzled on! I'm guessing it was basil oil or some such frippery, although the cafe with an accent was next to a boating lake the same colour.

I should have gone to the other one where I'm sure I could have just taken the sausage roll in a bag or on a paper plate without being drizzled at. Sad

It's hard being English.

OP posts:
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ErrolTheDragon · 27/10/2016 22:23

I've never been in the Pound Bakery, but I do inhale as I pass. Smells a damn sight better than the bloody Lush down the road. urgh. Don't judge the 90s for pot pourri when we have that olfactory onslaught to contend with.

PikachuSayBoo · 27/10/2016 22:23

tiggy you can't have found Feccis.

I used to live in Tenby, amazing chips.

BarbaraofSeville · 27/10/2016 22:19

The one occasion I tried to buy chips in Pembrokeshire they had run out. In a Fish and Chip shop Sad

No idea if it was the posh or not posh bit but I don't remember any ridiculous ponciness or extortionate pricing so I suspect it was the not posh bit. It was very picturesque bit though and the weather was surprisingly nice for a Bank Holiday Weekend.

Kleptronic · 27/10/2016 22:19

Greggs so is middle class. BoffinMum do not eat the balanced pasty, it is fucking rank, like eating chicken in a cardboard shoe insert with a ponced-up artisanal attempt at powdered chip shop curry sauce. I was so very angry with myself for buying that and wasting a pastry opportunity. Go to Pound Bakery instead for the proper working class tasty stuff. Although there may not be any down south, you poor soft southern shandies.

BarbaraofSeville · 27/10/2016 22:17

Grinchy Don't all Greggs have electronic tills these days? Although we did do it all in our heads when I worked there in the early 90s.

I use my fantastically honed mental arithmetic skills that job taught me to blow the minds of young people working in shops these days by handing them a seemingly random amount of money like £21.50 for a £6.50 bill to watch them gaze at me in amazement when their till tells me I need exactly £15 in change.

Sadly I did not benefit from the 'too much of a good thing' theory where you eventually get sick of a product that you are surrounded by every day to a degree that you can't face ever eating there so I am quite partial to a steak bake and a jam donut far too often.

Original poster
TiggyD · 27/10/2016 22:16

I found the fish and chips in Tenby to be shit. The first place I went to I had some food in a polystyrene tray. The chips were horrible and grainy inside and my sausage fell out onto the floor as I sat down. I threw them in the bin and found the second place.

The second place gave me average chips and fish where the batter was still raw in places.

OP posts:
HemanOrSheRa · 27/10/2016 22:15

Oh christ Sad. I think DP and I may have inadvertently become aging hipsters. We escaped to our local (bit rough) pub one Saturday lunch time recently. DP went to the bar and caused a scene by asking for a bottle of white wine. All I could hear was him shouting was 'No.No.No. Not that. We want a bottle of New Zealand Sauv Blanc'. Or is that tacky now and we're OK?

usual · 27/10/2016 22:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BluebellTheDonkey · 27/10/2016 22:14

I say po puh-ree
I'm middle class (I think)

hazeyjane · 27/10/2016 22:11

Pacific, my fil comes over very peculiar when faced with the coffee choices on a board. He goes through the 7 stages of...
Confusion (when I suggest a flat white), Fear (when I suggest a flat white)
Anger (when I explain what a flat white is)
Denial (I'll have a bloody tea if it's easier)
Defeat (...oh there are 23 types of tea)
Acceptance (oh just get me whatever you think is best)
Relief (when he realises that a flat white is just a coffee)

GrinchyMcGrincherson · 27/10/2016 22:09

I've been traumatised since being served fish and child on a lump of slate.

I think we wouldALL be traumatised by that!

Tiggy greggs is definitely working class all the way. If you are any rank of middle class you have to wear a big hat and several scarves to conceal your identity when going in. You must then breeze in with a child (this is important as you can't possibly buy anything for yourself) muttering "how quaint darling if you absolutely insist I will get you one of those sausage rolls I've heard about" you get bonus middle class points for trying to find a menu and commenting on the fact that all the staff total your bill in their heads as you order.

Hassled · 27/10/2016 22:08

Southwold's the place to go for top-notch Up Its Own Arse Wankiness. I seethe and rant, but yet keep going back for more.

user1470771898 · 27/10/2016 22:07

Could this go in classics please?

MrsDilligaf · 27/10/2016 22:07

Oh no! I've been saying it wrong all this time...

It's not pow pour-ee it's pott pure-ee

Alconleigh · 27/10/2016 22:07

World class chips in Tenby, Meredith. Why did you stray further?!

SpeckledyBanana · 27/10/2016 22:06

Ah Sister, you strayed into Narbeth, I guess?

Fecci's in Tenby do the best fish and chips ever

Hassled · 27/10/2016 22:06

My local pub now serves "modern inventive dishes and on-point drinks". Bastards, the lot of them. I just want scampi and gin.

ExitPursuedBySpartacus · 27/10/2016 22:03

That is how you pronounce it.

fool

SpeckledyBanana · 27/10/2016 22:02

I am going to take the kids to the park tomorrow, via Greggs for a no-effort picnic Grin

MrsDilligaf · 27/10/2016 22:02

My nana used to pronounce Pot Pourri as "Pott Pure-ee"

I just bought 2 bags from M & S

meridithssister · 27/10/2016 22:01

I like a holiday in lovely Pembrokeshire of Wales. It's glorious. Except for the time we strayed into North Pembs accidentally.
We fell into a pub at Sunday lunchtime in flip flops and shorts, the kids still covered in sand.
We were taken to a table with a white tablecloth. We were at this point committed to feeding our ravenous feral children.
They charged us £20 for our 4 year old's lunch of which she ate half a organic handmade seeded bread roll.
We have not ventured North since and have had some excellent Tenby fish and chips today.
We know our place.

HemanOrSheRa · 27/10/2016 21:58

Really, usual? Me and my sister have just chucked a load of Eternal Beau crockery, that belonged to our Mum and Dad. Bollocks.

BowieFan · 27/10/2016 21:58

I once went into a very posh cafe and immediately knew I'd made a mistake. My jacket potato came with blueberries and butter in a little churn.

I'll take my greasy spoon with builders tea and bacon butties, thank you very much.

sparechange · 27/10/2016 21:57

I live in an up and coming area

Our greggs closed to become a hipster hairdresser than sells £40 bottles of shampoo (normal size, not catering packs) and the only place to buy a sausage roll is the sourdough bakery which has men in skinny jeans queuing around the corner, thus rendering it utterly useless for those 'I'm dying of a hangover and have 4 minutes to get grease, stodge and pork in my mouth before I collapse' moments

We do have a lovely Italian cafe, and I took my friend there for breakfast when she was visiting from the north
We both ordered a sausage sandwich. It arrived.
It was a tolouse-style sausage, in a flatbread, filled with salad and halved cherry tomatoes
She took a photo and put it on Facebook with a caption like 'this is what passes for a sausage sandwich in London'

From the outraged comments she got, you'd have thought she posted a video of someone playing football with a puppy

ErrolTheDragon · 27/10/2016 21:52

Pot pourri is right up there with M&S Eternal Beau crockery, wallpaper borders and scatter cushions, for early 90s nastiness...

especially if, as happened when FIL first visited us as newlyweds (mid 80s), you mistake the bowl of pot pourri for nibbles.