To ask what the stupidest thing you've ever done is?

As a child ( still old enough to know better ) I put my knee between some railings in a very busy shopping centre. Couldn't get my knee out again and had to wait half hour for the fire brigade. Touched a glowing electric ring to see if it really was as hot as it looked..... Yes it was. More recently withdrew £150 from a cash point and walked of leaving the money. Luckily an old lady was behind me and followed me with money. Dh is a nightmare though and had done some truly funny stupid things. His nickname is frank spencer

When I was a teenager..I pushed a piece of glass into the back of my hand and dragged it...in an attempt to prove to my friend that it definitely wasn't sharp

In my (slight) defence I was drunk. But even that is no excuse for the stupidity.

I have a horrible scar to this day to remind me of my stupidity in youth. It comes up fairly regularly in conversation as the scar is so noticeable.

Last month whilst descaling my coffee machine. I went to give it one more run through with clean water, used the jug to fill the reservoir, switched it on and put the jug on the draining board instead of underneath the water outlet. When I heard the final gurglings and hissings as the reservoir emptied, I returned to the kitchen to find a very wet counter top and floor.

A few years ago I tested the serrated blade of a (cutlery) knife in the shop with my thumb. Had an inch-long cut that really hurt for about a week afterwards.

Twenty-odd years ago when I was in a band, I emptied my bank account to buy a mini mixing desk with a built-in tape deck. I lugged it back to our bandroom and up the stairs. I then ignored the sensible voice in my head telling me to put it down while I fiddled with the lock on the bandroom door but no, I tried to balance in on my knee. So, predictably, it fell, bounced down a flight of stairs and I now had a battered metal box full of rattling plastic scrap. I sat down and cried and cried.

In my mid-teens, cycling down a long steep hill and going quite fast. I decided that now was the perfect opportunity to straighten up my front mudguard by pushing it into place with my foot. One toe of a shoe into the spokes later and I'm sprawled on a grass verge badly winded with an assortment of bruises and a pair of front forks that are now bent the wrong way. I claimed I had to swerve to avoid a loose dog in order to hide my shame.

One by my dad when I was little. He decided that stirring a tin of paint by hand was for chumps so got his electric drill, drilled down into the end of a narrow piece of wood and, using said 'paddle' to stir the paint. Only, the edge of the wood caught the underside of the lip on the paint can and flung the tin across the kitchen, splattering paint everywhere. My mum nearly killed him.

Feeling adventurous, I decided to make my own chicken kievs.

Using the hand blender, I tried making my own bread crumbs but the bread was too soft so clogged the end up. Instead of switching it off, I used my finger to scrape the bread crumbs but pressed the button at the same time..nearly passed out and rang dh up at work crying..god knows what he did was going to do..

Heavily pregnant with ds, craving macaroni cheese. But the sauce lumpy so I decide to strain it through a sieve! Right down the waste disposal! I cried for hours! Dh and Dd didn't know what to do.

Arrived home pre children. House was in darkness. Key wouldn't work, tried the handle and it opened. Panicking that I forgot to lock the door. Realise the house alarm isn't on, hear a noise upstairs, scream loudly and run and hide in the car.

Hear a knocking on the window, it's my neighbour. He asks what's wrong. He laughs and points that dh's van is parked in its space and that he's in the house.

When pregnant, I took the pan of boiling pasta off the gas hob, strained it through a plastic colander, poured the pasta back into the pan and neatly placed the colander onto the still lit hob.

So far, so stupid. What was really stupid was how long it took me to figure out what I'd done wrong. I was looking from the pan to the melting colander for several seconds thinking "Hmm. Something's not right..."

When I was a teen I was going on a trip with the youth club, and we went in an old mini bus that had a fan in the roof of it. Well I wondered what it was and what would happen if I stuck my finger in it blood that's what happens, a finger cut to the bone and blood sprayed everywhere

When younger I was trying to show my little sister that I could ride my bike with my eyes shut. I managed it for a while then crashed into a lamp post and cut my knee v badly. A man came out of his house to help me thankfully. When I started my a levels I recognised the man teaching me. Turns out it was the same chap!

Got off a plane in Reykjavik and discovered I'd left my wallet in Gatwick branch of Boots.

My MIL once asked FIL, very loudly in s. Try busy pub (State of Origin was on) "Peter, how many halves are there in a football game?" Took her aged to realise why everyone was laughing at her!

Was driving up the highway the other week when DD2 (15) suddenly started screaming. Pulled over in a panic to discover she'd been drinking frozen coke and needed to breathe. She forgot she had a nose so opened her mouth, resulting in a crotch full of frozen coke. She was wearing shorts at the time. I really wasn't surprised as she does that sort of thing a lot.

My best one was transferring all my holiday spending money onto a prepaid credit card then going on holiday without the card :( that wasn't easy to solve as we were holidaying in Turkey.

Sitting outside at a v nice bar/restaurant for an early evening drink with DH, had only had a couple of sips and decided I needed the loo (ie, I can't even blame it on being tipsy). To get to them you had to go inside, then outside and back inside again. When I'd finished, I came out and lost my bearings, I went outside and then headed at a haring pace to where I thought the inside was, sadly it was a massive pane of glass and not an opening at all. Gave the poor buggers sitting the other side of it the fright of their lives, but stunned myself, cut the bridge of my nose and dying of embarrassment, managed to get back to DH, told him to swiftly drink up, we're leaving! When we scuttled out, DH was uncontrollably laughing at the Turin Shroud of my face I'd left on said window.

at these

I got off of a bus, turned and walked smack into its wing mirror with my face. Carried on walking nonchalantly away whilst the driver had to actually get out and adjust his mirror.

Dad asked me to cut his hair with a shaver on a certain setting. Did, all fine. Then he changed it to a shorter setting and asked me to trim the straggly bits on the back of the neck. I for some reason thinking this new setting wouldn't be that short proceeded to shave an enormous bald rectangle up the back of his head. Torn between horror and hilarity. I then tried to even it out, resulting in him looking like a medieval monk. He said he looked like he'd had a lobotomy. He saw the funny side eventually

Not mine but my mum's... she was at my sister's just after my sister had given birth, helping out. Mum put some jacket potatoes in the oven..all fine. There was a really really funny smell but they didn't investigate it. Got the jackets out the oven...they were cooked fine. And so were my mum's glasses, sitting melted all over the baking tray.

Not a stupid thing, but I looked like a tit.

Was a student. Saw a bloke I slightly fancied in the library. Walked downstairs with him clutching a pile of books.

He says "Watch yourself, your heels are really high". I do a dismissive, elegant wave of the hand and say "I was born in heels, darling". Then I fall spectacularly downstairs.

Oh dear I know its wrong but I am pms laughing at attempting to cure breastfeeding baby of hiccups by loudly shouting Boo

I got bored with my usual housework routine and decided it was time for a change. Hoovered down the stairs instead of up, pulled Hoover on to my head.

allegretto makes me feel a bit better though

Oh yes. We had tickets to the Twickenham 7's tournament. I enquired casually of DH how one plays cricket with 7 people on each team as I was pretty proud that I had remember that there are normally 11 on a cricket team. Turns out it's a rugby tournament and a very famous rugby venue. Who knew...

DH nearly wet himself and told everyone within a mile radius.

*allergic reaction. And please excuse the spelling mistakes. I am unbelievably tired.

Boink- my children's doctor asked me the same questions about my boy /girl twins - she should have known better!!

That and the Iceland foot in mouth-

Speaking to a lady in cast - that looks nasty what happened ...,

Fell and bust it Iceland.

Me - so sorry, hope it didn't spoil your holiday

Blank reply - yeah - the once in the precinct up the road v

Om going to sounds unbelievably stupid.
I am, buy even more so!

I was pregnant with my daughter, I'd stayed at her dads place which was in the next village, neither of us drove, so we needed to get a bus for HD to be able to get to my midwife appointment. The bus timetable showed we would reach town quite a bit earlier than we needed, but I thought we could have a coffee and something nice from Gregg's, would be the only place open anyway.

So we grab coffee and sit outside (twas early December) and I start to talk about the cold, and snow, and putting my tongue out to catch the snow flakes.....

Low and behold...white specks start to fall. And I am ecstatic. ITS SNOWING!! SNOWING! As if I willed it to happen....and I stick my tongue out to catch the teeny tiny snowflakes!!
He wasn't sharing my excitement, just told me to stop.

A few minutes later I say I'm feeling funny. I can't feel my hand. And my tongue feels really strange. My tongue went numb.

I was panicking, I had no idea what was happening, but I think I'll bring it up with midwife in just over an hour, if I don't die!, I was seriously panicking.

Whilst explaining the snow....
Dd dad pipes up, "except what hippo ingested wasn't snow. There was a man on a ladder sawing at painted wood attached to building behind us,

Midwifes face was a picture, as mine must have been.

Allergic shock. Only one worth mentioning. And I'd accidentally eaten paint and wood dust, at 8 1/2 months pregnant.

Felt like a right arse.

Sat on the beach at about aged 8. Decided to squash that " annoying hoverfly " between my knees.

I squashed it alright but is was a sodding wasp and I got stunk inside both knees in one go !