To ask what the stupidest thing you've ever done is?

Someone once called our house phone asking for my mum. I told them she wasn't home and could she leave a message. She asked for her contact details , i.e. Mobile or the address of where she went. I replied back by saying I shall pass the details later because I was not home.

This will totally out me to my family, not me, my dad. He was supposed to pit ointment in his eye....lifted the superglue instead and glued his eye shut. Ended up in a&e. I don't know how the staff contained themselves.

Some of these are making me wince! I've done a lot of stupid things in my time but the first thing I thought of reading this thread was when I was about 7, so my sister would have been 9. I was struggling to get the hang of riding a bike and it annoyed my sister who wanted to ride with me. So she came up with the great idea of tying a rope to our bikes (with loads of slack!) so she could do all the peddling and I could just sit back and take in the sights - never occurred to us that i might need to peddle too. So she takes off and cycles for about 20 foot then turns back to see how I'm enjoying it and I'm there on the ground, being dragged along the concrete and scraping all the skin off my face - I'd fallen over pretty much as soon as she'd started moving. Not really sure how she didn't notice she was just dragging me along! Actually in hindsight it was probably only a couple of seconds of being dragged but it felt like 20 foot!

These are funny!
I went on a health kick and had my juicer out, juicing tons of veggies.

I forgot to put the jug by the spout and inexplicably had the spout pointing directly into the semi open cutlery drawer so it ended up being filled with fucking expensive loads of vege juice.

I spent hours cleaning the juicer and the cutlery drawer!

Bwahahahha Tom

Think that happened on here with someone answering her own question about a pushchair.

Aaaah, Tom - your intentions were good! Still cracked me up, though!

I once revisited a weight loss forum and was answering someone's question about being frustrated about the diet plan not working properly.

I wrote out a detailed reply providing lots of hints and advice all the while there was a little tiny niggle going off in my head that there may have been something vaguely familiar about the post... Hit send.

Then as I was reading the whole post back, I realised that I had actually replied to my own question that I had asked two years ago!!

I regularly start tipping my tea halfway to my mouth.

Friends and relatives are frustratingly distracted and amused when I'm trying to tell a story.

Oh my word silly

I decided to paint my ceiling, but only had a hand-held roller and no step-ladder (yep, I know). I came up with the 'genius' method of sellotaping the roller to a broom handle. Needless to say, after a few very wobbly daubs of paint on the ceiling, the sellotape unravelled and the roller dropped onto my head while also managing to splatter the walls and everything else in sight. DIY is not my thing.

I've gone from oven to sink more than once with a pot of boiling veggies/ pasta in one hand and a sieve in the other and for reasons I can't fathom have just started tipping halfway through and been very very lucky to have hit the sink in time. (V small kitchen in old house, I've made a mental note to leave sieve by the sink and lift it once I get there in new house!) Also hit accelerator instead of brake in automatic car for no reason at all and gone straight into front wall whilst parking!

Oh god, Silly, that's awful

This is a horrible one so don't read if it will upset you . Got into a black taxi and had a feeling something was not right with the driver and accepted a drink in cab from him. Then blacked out and found myself in the Thames on the embankment with the tide lapping at my face.
I only found out that I wasn't the only one a year or so afterwards ( haven't told anyone apart from partner about this but think about it often. I could have drowned )

wowwee my dh blew the microwave clean off the wall trying to boil eggs in it! Then hoovered up the splattered egg from all the carpeted kitchen...so the hoover smelled delightfully of eggy mould when we went to use it again a week or so later.

I have queued politely for an anticipated train, anxious to get a seat when it finally arrived, whilst my actual train was rapidly filling up at the platform behind me.

At the age of 10 I put a carrier bag of school folders on my handlebars because they wouldn't fit on the carrier. Bag caught in the spokes as I was hurtling down a hill, stopped dead and launched me into the road, taking most of the skin off one side of my face. I looked terrifying for weeks, was quite a spectacle.

I also recently spent a good long while on the phone to santander really annoyed at their incompetence at not being able to talk to me about paying off my loan because they couldn't find any records. Put the phone down then remembered the loan was with nationwide

Got my finger stuck in a supermarket trolley, cut out by the fire brigade at the entrance of the store which by that point had gathered something of a crowd.

I was in my late teens and was being a bit of a dick to my mum at the time of the incident. I think she evoked some exasperated mum karma from somewhere

Hope nobody minds me adding these...
Just a few months ago was driving somewhere new, came to a row of traffic, which didn't seem to be moving at all. That's because they weren't, they were parked .
Another time went to wave at someone who let me out at a junction, but my window was shut so I punched it instead.
Threw dd (about 2-3 at the time) over my shoulder into a fireman's lift, but forgot to catch her (she was ok, just a bruise luckily)

When I was young (about 7ish) we lived on an incline. I thought it'd be a great idea to lie down on my skateboard face 1st and go down the hill, which it was, until an uneven bit of pavement stopped the skateboard but not me. Massive graze on my chin.

Also rang asda up wanting to change the time of my shopping delivery because something had come up. She couldn't find my order online, took a little while for me to realise I'd ordered it from Sainsburys. I just hung up rather than explain lol.

On the same note as StripeyBlanket. Bought a brand new gaming PC, not had a new one in about 8 years. Took it out of the box and noticed it came with what looked like a screwdriver. Thought oh that's handy if you want to install a new graphics card or something.

Set it all up (it was a Saturday and customer services are closed weekends) coukd not get Wi-Fi to connect. I spent all weekend trying, including taking it all (and the old PC) into the living room so I could connect via Ethernet to go onto the internet to ask online. I was honestly nearly in tears because I knew exactly what I had to do, it just wasn't working.

9am Monday morning I ring up customer services and start complaining it will not connect to Wi-Fi. The nice lady asks me if, when I was unpacking did I come across a little black stick? The screwdriver? I ask. Ahem no, that's the antenna, you screw it in the back. Do so and Wi-Fi connects instantly. Felt like a right Muppet, but in my defence WHY do they not have it in the instructions or already attached?

Another time argued black and blue for about 40 minutes (online chat) with Littlewoods that a bnpl was not showing up that I wanted to pay off. Guy tries all sorts to find out why, I'm adamant it should be there!!! He finally asks if I maybe have another account? Oh err yes, it's my Very account I bought it on (in my defence, they are the same company)
Bet he had a right old laugh when I hung up.

Bought a steam cleaner from a well know department store. It arrived and I couldn't find all the attachments, so I phoned customer services. Now this store is well known for excellent customer service and the lady I spoke with sent out a new one.
The next day it arrived and the courier took the other one away... I opened it and had the same problem! No bloody attachments!!! My husband came home and pointed out that the base of the steamer was removeable and all of the attachments were inside the compartment underneath!
I felt very but in my defense the instructions were all in a foreign language and no English version.
I sent a perfectly working and useable item back...

Oh more recently I trusted a two year old with a hose pipe. I was filming her watering the plants you can figure out the rest I'm sure

DP was trying to apply sun lotion, one of those continuous spray aerosol jobs, but it was blocked. He rinsed it under some water to clear the nozzle and then looked to check it was clear. Happy it was now ok he pressed the button whilst still have the nozzle about 5 cm from his eye. Oh how I laughed, apparently it stung quite a lot!

Sitting in my front room, I swatted a wasp with a notebook that had a gel pen clipped to it. Somehow the pen flew apart and sprayed black, black ink onto two walls, the door, the floor, the coffee table, my skirt, the couch and the rug!

It took bloody ages to clear up - the ink was wet, so wiping it spread it further and further. I ended up having to bleach the floor, walls, door and table.

Dh was polishing his shoes, and wanted to heat thenpolish (his brother had been in the Army, and had taught him this was the best way to achieve a high shine). Instead of doing what his brother used to do - heat a bit of polish in the tin lid, with a lighter, he decided to go high-tech and use the microwave. When you microwave shoe polish, it catches on fire. Dh hurtled by me, yelling that I should phone the fire brigade, whilst he got the fire extinguisher from the car, to put out the merry blaze in the microwave.

The fire brigade kindly didn't laugh too much to dh' said face - but someone told the local paper, and the story turned up in it, the next week. Dh wasn't named - but we knew it was him!