To ask what the stupidest thing you've ever done is?

Left work and got into the back seat of my car, sat there for at least 30 seconds not sure what was going on.

Put the rubbish out only realising on the way back I was wearing just a vest top and knickers

Wanted to pop to local supermarket and picked up rubbish bag to put in wheelie bin, got to coop and realised I was still carrying the stinking black bin bag.

Leaned out of my bedroom window to see what the noise was outside, not remembering I had no top on at all.

Stood on the tube and went to hold DH's hand, wasn't DH but a really confused looking teenage boy

Confused thrush cream and cold sore cream. Cold sores were fine. Front bottom not so much...

Sprayed perfume on my bits as a child - holy shit, that burned
Fell head first down the stairs into a tube station while drunk. Then-DBf stopped me killing myself.
Got in a dinghy with a kid while on holiday aged 6, as we drifted into the middle of Lake Bala (the deepest lake in the UK?), discovered neither of us could row. A man dived in and swam out to rescue us.
Tried to bring a couple of joints home from the Caribbean for my DB. Only remembered they were in my bag while waiting at the airport of a small, very harsh sentencing country and there's an announcement over the tannoy that they're sending sniffer dogs round. Thought I was going to be sent to prison for a thousand years. Somehow the dog didn't smell the joints (it was too late to ditch them). Fucking idiot

I also have a habit of double-crossing my legs when sitting, so they sort of wrapped round twice. New MD at work walked in to office and I stood up to greet him, forgetting my legs were double crossed and fell flat on my face

Spent ages making chicken soup from the carcass of a roast chicken then when it was ready, strained the lot through a sieve & watched my lovely soup go down the plug hole in the sink! I was left with a sieve of bones and boiled veg! Never made chicken soup again

Was staying at a hotel with the kids. We all had a shower and the bath was filling up and not draining away. Left it an hour and then called reception. They sent a plumber who sorted it. The plug was in!

autumn, I nearly drowned. Reckon I'd have been in line for a Darwin Award if I'd actually carked it

I've already posted multiple times on MN about mistaking capsaicin cream (for arthritis relief) for Anusol, in a post-partum haze...

Phoned Nationwide about an account I had with Halifax

In my mind they are the same bank

Spring cleaning one day I lifted all the vertical blinds in the lounge. Did some dusting and thought to myself that the strings on them were far too long ago I cut them right down.
I was more than a little surely surprised when I came to lower them again.

I once watched my mother toss a £1 coin into a charity collectors cup of tea. She's said 'never mind it will be a nice surprise when you get to the bottom'.

Took her sofa shopping with me last week, showed her the one I liked, which included a 'cuddle chair'. The salesman told her to try it so she launched herself at the chair with gusto, only she hadn't realised it also spun.
Most of sofology stopped to watch my 80 year old mother squeal loudly as she whizzed around.

I could write a book on her honestly.

I got half way down a ladder once and inexplicably thought I was all the way down, stepped out backwards and crashed down to the concrete floor...

At the tender age of 16, I tried to carry 2 buckets on the handles of my moped... promptly met the back of a Citroen less than a mile after starting out.

Love this thread will it be moved to classics????

Laughing at so many including stapler how embarrassing.

I was fascinated by my brothers electric pencil sharpener and put my finger in it - and shaved it - painful and shocking but to be expected and no one saw

What was he actually thinking about the mysterious second suitcase? Better not bring that I've never seen it before

My dh does this all the time! I pack and leave extras at the side of the bag or by front door - have done this for years dh still leaves them - zips up bag and packs. I have to now physically show him make sure he has clocked it.

A couple of years back my brother and I, along with our kids were going to do a back road 4wd track in his truck, anyway my brother pulled the pin but said I would be fine doing it in my 2wd (a bloody ford fiesta) as he previously done the route before.

Never ever again, it was an absolute nightmare and in hindsight I should have stopped at the first big hole, there is a reason why it was 4wd track only. To cut a long story short we got stuck but somehow I managed to get out, when we got back to my brother's house, my other brother (a mechanic) said what an utter idiot I was as I could have totally wrecked my car.

Help

MaQueen, I think yours is my favourite so far. What was he actually thinking about the mysterious second suitcase? Better not bring that I've never seen it before.

And what did you do about clothes for the DDs?

onecrazycook stifling laughter trying not to wake whole household up! That is so funny!!!

I once rang the airport to enquire if a passport was needed to fly to Ireland. The lady was polite and said she would have to check. I stood holding the phone and listening to a debate about whether travel to Ireland needed a passport or not. It went on and on, with quite a few people involved. My family were sat looking at me, waiting for the answer. I was a little curt, if I recall, interrupting the chat to ask, excuse me I am still waiting! For the lady to apologise and reply, well I think....., Gladys thinks..... And well George he isn't at all sure. I had rang the wrong number! My family were in hysterics

This is dp's.

He had been out manning the safety boat at a swim event in the sea. I was on the beach with the kids. He got his phone and wallet out of the drybag and handed them to his mate, then swung his leg over the boat to get in the water, kicking his phone out of his mates hand and they watched wordlessly as it sailed through the air and into the sea.

We found it but it was beyond repair.

I once went to walk into Virgin Megastore and apologised to another lady I'd almost walked straight into. Only it wasn't another lady- It was my own reflection. I'd just had my hair dyed blonde and I didn't recognise myself

Accidentally threw a full cup of hot chocolate at a security guard at work. For some reason I thought he was a bin.

Absolutely crying with laughter

Oh, also I once spilled coffee on an extension lead where my brand new laptop was plugged in. I jumped to unplug it to save it. Ended up in a&e due to electric shock.

Many years ago, 1st day in a new job, meeting my new manager. We were chatting in her office, I couldn't stop nervously fidgeting with my pen and some papers. At some point I somehow got a hold of a stapler. I then promptly stapled it onto my finger.
Bloody painful, bloody bloody, bloody embarrassing.

Light blew in my bedside light when I was a young teen. Went and sorted a bulb. Managed to work out how to get the bulb out. Saw two prongs thought they needed to be pressed in to get the bulb back in.

Boom.

I can only describe the feeling as the sound of hitting a microphone as a feeling inside your head.

What a dick.