I mean worse than shouting obscenities throughout a church service... I am still cringing and DH is at work so I have to get this out of my system and have nobody to share the horror with yet.
For background info - we went for a few days at the seaside this week. Since when DS is OBSESSED with beaches. Every time we get in the car he thinks that's where we're going. And shouts about it constantly. Except what he actually says is very clearly 'bitch'.
'A bitch', 'my bitch', 'more bitch', 'want bitch', and (my personal favourite) 'bitch pwease'. So far so toddlerish and moderately amusing though it wears thin when you're poked awake at 6am by a small person repeating 'mummy BITCH' at increasing volume.
BUT, this evening we went to church. And he was convinced as ever that we were going to the beach, and we were in a rush so I didn't have time to do the expectation management that I have been. Cue outraged astonishment when we arrive at church, and the 'bitch'ing starts.
Managed to keep him quiet for the first twenty minutes or so, mostly by stuffing in a mini cheddar every time he looked like he might start shouting, but I ran out just as the sermon started.
So when the priest paused for a dramatic silence after posing a rhetorical question, my angelic-looking toddler jumped up, and yelled 'BITCH!' in ringing tones.
This understandably threw the priest off his stroke somewhat, and he stuttered and completely lost his thread. All heads turned towards us, and meanwhile DS was getting into his stride and was unshushable.
This culminated in me slinging him over my shoulder and hauling him out of church while the entire congregation watched in bemused horror as he cried 'yay! BITCH! Yay!' with unmitigated glee all the way down the aisle because he thought this meant I had finally come to my senses and decided to take him to the beach instead.
I can clearly never go back.
