Things you only learned about pregnancy and birth once you were committed

34 wks with DC2.

For some people pregnancy can be 100 times worse than childbirth! 1st trimester both times I felt like I had a permanent hangover. Morning sickness is a patronising name. It can be a constant seasickness type nausea lasting 24 hours a day, you may get no warning that you're going to vomit, you may even pee when vomiting due to the force, you can get thumb sized blood clots your sick because your stomach is so wrecked from retching, and it can last right through to labour.

Do not underestimate the tiredness and dizziness. Baby moving in the last 10 weeks can actually feel unpleasant. You can have so many complications you feel the midwife in the day until is your best friend. It doesn't matter how exhausted you are at bedtime, by the time you've faffed around getting the bedroom temperature / blanket ratio perfected, you've necked half a bottle of gaviscon for the unbearable heartburn and made a nest of pillows to support you from every possible angle, you'll just get settled and have an overwhelming urge to pee. And you will cry.

I can't really remember labour. I do remember thinking it's got to get worse then it was over. DS head was stuck, when I finally delivered his head he was screaming straight away - that was weird! I paused for a second to get my breath before another push for the body and the midwives started screeching at me " Nooo!! Don't stop pushing!!" He'd stated to slide back in... I didn't know that could happen!

Delivering the placenta felt pleasant. I thought it was all over. Haha! Post partum haemorrhage and stiches still to come you fool!

Not everyone takes to breastfeeding easily, and the relief I felt when I switched to formula after a week of tears from both me and DS was unreal.

It doesn't always kick in straight away, but when it does, the feeling of love for this little pink screeching person who is totally dependant on you is overwhelming. I sometimes think no one could ever love anyone as much as I love my DS. I'm going to be a nightmare MIL in 30 years aren't I?!

I was all prepared for stitches being sore/uncomfortable should I need them (thanks mum 👍🏻).....but was not prepared for the searing pain of an unstitched "external laceration" every time I tried to go for a wee
I didn't even know my 5 internal stitches were there to be honest. But the laceration that the midwife insisted did not need stitching was sheer agony. Going for a wee was like pouring battery acid over my fanjo I actually say downstairs and sobbed about 5 days post-birth because I needed a wee but couldn't handle the stinging again! After a few more days I discovered ways of making it less painful ie peeing in a shallow bath, running the shower over my bits while peeing in the empty bath, or a bit of toilet gymnastics getting into weird and wonderful positions in order to aim my pee straight into the loo instead of over my poor fanjo!

No-one told me about the amount of mess just after the birth! Sanitary towels in any shape or form are completely useless - raid the Bounty bag and use newborn size nappies!

Nobody told me there was a possibility the placenta might not come out, I didn't even know it was a thing! After a long delivery with just gas and air and after genuinely believing I wasn't going to make it to the end, being wheeled off to theatre for a spinal block and manual removal of placenta after DD arrived was not something I had ever imagined. Grim, just grim. The manual removal was like something from an eipsode of All Creatures Great and Small.
Worst thing is I'm 28 weeks pregnant with DC2 and there's an increased chance it will happen again. I really think this should be covered at antenatal classes so that people can be prepared for the possibility that the placenta might not just slide out.

That just because your first pregnancy was easy doesn't mean your second one will be.
23 weeks pregnant with DS2 I now wish I hadn't read the thread. I think I'd blocked out a lot of this stuff.

You should read it rattie as lots of it wont happen to you anyway and for the stuff that does you'll have a heads up. And seeing other people are going through much worse (or at least different) stuff seems to make your ailments not so bad!

Oh yes, the pain of SPD/PGP, acid reflux and indigestion...awful!

-It's possible (and common) to lose weight at first through sheer lack of appetite and nausea even if not actually being sick.
-You can get stretchmarks in places other than your bump or boobs on your bum for example
-You won't necessarily feel labour pains in your bump. Mine were in my back, plus a massive feeling of downward pressure...didn't believe I was in full labour despite being in that much pain til I got to hospital and they could see the head.

• That for the first few days baby will want to breastfeed pretty much constantly.

Oh and vertigo. I have never had it in my life, now I get dizzy looking down a straight set of stairs

Probably shouldn't read this as I'm 6 months pregnant with first! But so far the boobs leaking at 5 and a half months was something I didn't expect until late pregnancy! And the heartburn which is driving me nuts. Feeling full all of the time but wanting to eat still. And the stretching pains. I have chronic pain but my god it has not prepared me for the stretching pains!

In my first trimester I was expecting morning sickness. Got none of that but plenty of nausea and dizziness. The constant headaches were unexpected too!

Pregnancy induced motion sickness, so that I could not even scroll on the Internet without being really unwell, I had to give up mumsnet and pretty much all computer use and tv, couldn't even watch someone else play a video game!
Any travel that wasn't walking became an issue.

And that bf turned out to be the least natural thing in the works for me

That my name is "mum" and that I need to be addressed in the third person and with simple words. Midwives, GP, nursery... "And how is mum feeling today?" Fuck off.

This. The removal of your separate identity along with the placenta.

Also, the surprise finger up bum to check that a) you haven't torn through, and b) they haven't stitched you up too completely.

I had a completely medication free birth and I was nowhere NEAR orgasm. This seems unfair.

The bleeding and clots were a nasty surprise tbh
I passed a clot the size of a large Apple after ds2s birth!
That stitches that don't heal fucking hurt!
I bled for months after ds1s birth then stopped then got my first post pg period 3 weeks later!
The sweats! Jesus...it poured out of me!
The constant nausea
Constant
For 9 months
The tiredness
Christ the tiredness...

Your DP trying to get 'jiggy' with you days after the birth. Because of course, I feel at my sexiest wearing something akin to a nappy for grown-ups and my breasts feel like concrete.

On TV pregnant women suddenly have their waters break and start saying that the baby is coming and it is a dash to get them to the hospital.

In real life you wish that your baby was born that quickly.

Starduke

Yes! The fact that your stomach muscles just don't work when you are heavily pregnant and that even pushing a shopping trolley can be difficult.

Another thing:

That you will drop food down your front all the time (or maybe just me?)

People say pregnacy isn't a disability this is true but it's 9 months of utter hell.

I'd rather give birth 10 times over than endure being pregnant ,

That nobody believes you need to push an hour after your waters break (not midwife, nor HCA, boyfriend or mother)

That you will ask about 15 times for pain relief and get given paracetamol and told that your contractions aren't that bad (yes they are rude midwife!)

That you will eventually give birth in induction suite with no pain relief because no fucker believed you.

That you will get offered gas and air for the bloody stitches afterwards..... No I've just pushed a baby out without it what's the point now!

That you will not sleep at all the first night because you daren't stop watching your tiny baby!

First pregnancy - that you can sail through feeling great.
Second pregnancy - that it's not always like that.

Hitting the wall. Pretty much everyone I know has done this for some amount of time at least. I was with sil during her birth and hers lasted five minutes.

Mine was 6 hours of "I can't do this."

If I was expecting it to happen it may not have been so terrifying.

bear Yes! I had no idea, I assumed the bleeding only happened after a vaginal birth. Nope. And it goes on and on and on!

Oh, and the 'magical moment' that is farting in the obstetrician's as he does an examination, possibly following through but having no idea because of said epidural.

Oh and even though you have a c-section, bleeding for 9 weeks post partum.

That you can be sick so often you burn your mouth until it bleeds and then can't even drink water for 48 hours

Just how difficult it is to get up from a low bed / low sofa when heavily pregnant

That it can take 4 years for a lactose intolerance to be diagnosed - in the meantime you're clearing up sick and being woken frequently through the night

Birth plans. Mine was 'no epidural, absolutely NO pethidrine, possibly gas & air'. Mwah ha ha! Gas and air in ambulance, literally begged on my knees for pethidrine (& got it!), followed by epidural and eventually, emergency c-section.