Things you only learned about pregnancy and birth once you were committed

I had no pain relief In either labour except tens (no, to this day I couldn't tell you what it actually does!....just don't start on setting 10 or you will feel like you've been electrocuted )
I enjoyed the pushing stage - only took about 6 pushes for each baby
I'm fine with giving birth, but hate pg!!

No-one wants to know your pregnancies were pretty much symptom free, labours were pain relief free and less than three hours and you got off the delivery table feeling like you could run a marathon...(which was really odd as I normally wouldn't feel like running to the garden gate from the front door)

Hormones playing absolute havoc with my skin whilst pregnant, almost constant sinusitis, precisely zero energy.

After baby - how bloody soon after giving birth people will start asking if you'll have another. I was first asked 9 days post partum

There was no where near as much blood, during birth, as I thought there would be.... for both mine it was literally a tablespoon if that....

Oh and morning sickness is the worst thing in the world.... horrific... (well for me it was)

I didn't know that a footling breech baby could have his foot stuck in the neck of the womb and that being kicked on the cervix from the inside is not only fucking horrible but it makes you worry his foot will come through and just hang there....

That you could feel so much pain from gallstones (that you didn't even know ypu had at that point) while trying to push that pushing is actually the lesser pain.

That having had a miscarriage you are so hearbroken you think you might never have another child.
That when you finally decide to go for it you hold your breath the entire pregnancy.
And that when that baby is finally here and they are absolutely perfect you will look at him and think "I'm so glad I got brave"

The relief of realising you are happily done with pregnacies - because you feared that having lost a baby you might never get to that point. because the mind is a weird thing and despite knowing you can never replace your baby you still wonder if that's what you are trying to do deep down. And when you have your 7th baby and you say "you know what, I'm done" you finally realise that you weren't trying to replace the one that didn't make it, your family is complete, even though she is gonna be missed forever. And that is ok

That the first 37 weeks of your pregnancy will fly by and then the time between then and birth feels like 5 years.
People will ask you if the baby is here when you're standing there talking to them and quite obviously still pregnant.
That after a section you will be scared to go for a poo in case your stomach rips open and your uterus falls down the toilet (...just me?)

You can have a joyful amazing first pregnancy, even being single and escaping an abusive relationship, but then have a shit second one, despite being happily with someone who is ultra supportive and loving.

Varicose veins on the vagina. Cheers.
Uncontrolled farting when laughing.
Heartburn that is actually better described as "stomach acid burning your throat and tongue".
Sweeps are not as casual as they sound. At all.
Some midwives are unbelievably rough and have no bedside manner AT ALL and will make you feel majorly shit.

the slee deprivation. My god. I long for the baby to be born so that I can sleep. I haven't been comfortable for months and I just want to give birth and then go to sleep without waking up with hip pain, dribbling, cramp, the need to pee, not enough room or the sudden urge to scream and cry....

38+4 and very impatiently waiting. Sigh.

I was shocked by the amount of water that came out when my waters broke. Thankfully it was in hospital, but goodness, the waterproof mattress would have done nothing!

Also, the surprise finger up bum to check that a) you haven't torn through, and b) they haven't stitched you up too completely.

Yes! Wasn't that moment a joy. The whole time I was being stitched and was off my tits on gas and air I kept thinking "you're a sadist" about the registrar doing it. She then told me to relax while she "checked my back passage". Let me shove my finger up your arse and see you relax.

Gas and air made me plot the death of every medical professional in the room.

Formal I had a 'massive obstetric bleed' due to retained products and they were trying to remove them without any form of pain relief. I banned the obstetrician from doing it again, and she said "well, we'll have to put you under general anaesthetic in that case" in a really snotty tone of voice. Crack on, I said. It was much more civilised!

The fact that even though I weight the same as before pregnancy I am still wider

My boobs occasionally leak during sex. (Is this normal? I stopped bf 12months ago)

My waters didn't break until I was in hospital and 7cm!

I bled a lot after and despite giving birth I still walked like I had a bowling ball between my legs

Oh another gem- that your bladder can actually fall out of your vagina and just hang around. Meaning if you bend forward quickly, jump, sneeze, get tickled you full on piss yourself.

Timegate- yes!!!!!!!!

That 7 years after a 10lb 11oz birth (one where i had over 100 stitches that all burst and become infected) my fanjo is still not right and Dh gets his leg over only once a month as a result. Doesn't help that I have stress incontinence which can make things a bit sore. Strangely at 37 I'm broody again though. Gah.

This meant I was quite freaked out by the rhythmic sounds from the next bed in the postnatal ward and was feverishly imagining a newborn baby in some kind of wheezing iron lung and wondering why it wasn't being looked after more intensively in a special ward 😂

formal yes!!! The doctor tried to remove mine whilst still on delivery suite - no pain relief at all and also had an episiotomy - I found it worse than giving birth. After much screeching they took me to theatre....

You'll see the true colours of people especially the inlaws. Those who can be relied on too

Sinusitis constantly with my second pregnancy and fainting. With my first I had spd, nose bleeds, carpal tunnel syndrome and reflux 🙈 all worth it though! Post birth I wasn't prepared for how my body shape would change and dressing myself was a nightmare! X

That you truly understand the kindness of strangers when vomiting in a lay-by due to HG. 2 Lorry drivers and a snack van man looked after me as I was on my hands and knees spewing up bile.

That you can get shakes that make it look like you are having a seizure when your milk comes in. Poor DH thought I was dying when it happened to me.

Spinal for my section!!

Obviously it's affected my brain as well... 😬

tallblue I had to have a manual extraction too - and the spinal for my epidural failed/wore off.

It hurts :(

I forgot the sweating!!! Pouring and pouring with sweat for weeks after!

Lochia definitely. I thought one of the upsides of pregnancy was no period for 9mo, then learned you bleed for 6wks after. I'm not sure pregnancy is a price worth paying for a saving of 3 period-free weeks!

The night time dribbling in the 3rd tri. I'd wake every morning to find my pillow (and hair and face) soaked. Yuck.

The dribbling, erm, down below. I spent most of my first pregnancy feeling like I was on heat, although lucked out with the second and only felt the constant need to shag for a couple of months in the middle.

That you can leak milk very early on (from 18wks for me), and once baby is born if they unlatch mid-feed they can leave you with a seemingly unending jet of milk firing out of your boob like a burst pipe.

The wind post-section!

The first poo. Second birth was fine, but after the first... All that needs to be said is manual extraction

Breastfeeding in the early days is wonderful and straightforward for some women. Not the majority, definitely not for me (although much much easier second time), and nothing like the video they show you at the ante natal classes.

That it's ok for babies to drink down blood and scabs with their milk (see above).

'Baby blues', as mentioned by others, is no where near as minor and cutesy as it sounds.

....Continuing on from that theme........

That you could have a 'silent' first two stages of labour and only start feeling it properly in transition. That was weird.

That my body would completely take over and know just what to do. I kept thinking 'I cannot be pushing, surely not, I've only had cx for like 30 minutes'.........but I was!

That there is such an experience gap between GPs/ drs who don't deal with birth regularly, and MWs who IME actually really knew what they were talking about and were 100% spot on.

Actually, in contrast to what most people on here have said........

That I could give birth with no pain relief at all and it was fine.

No orgasm ( @ mavis ) but pushing/ crowning felt quite nice.

That actually, I really fucking did care who was at the business end and was bloody glad it was only an experienced female midwife. I was never so far gone that I wasn't aware of who was around, and I really hate the idea that women are supposed to happily give up any dignity in labour.

I know that's a minority opinion though.........