Things you only learned about pregnancy and birth once you were committed

Pelvic pain.
Stiches (and trying to wee! Ouch).
Feeling weird inside after baby comes out... like all you organ's and ribs are all moving back to place.
Body being wrinkly and wobbly!
Never having a wee by your self again
Never having a bath by your self again.
Sleep... oh I miss sleep!

But with all of that the amount you love your children and how you would do it all over again :)

catty a 'pal' informed me that you were expected to be 'groomed down there' by midwives (utter nonsense, folks) and I remember the hell of trying to tackle my bits with a razor, already five days overdue, and pretty much shaving 'blind'. Trust me, at the final hour you won't give a toss whether your labia actually have teeth... Get. The. Baby. Out.

An umbilical hernia which looks horrendous and will need a small op after baby born :(

• Having a huge, bloated belly for weeks after c-section
• that the trapped wind in my arms would be the most painful thing about the recovery!
• the painful cervix bumps in the last few weeks from the head! Over in a second but stopped me in my tracks.
• how tough the sleep deprivation was in the first week
• his little yellow jaundice spotty nose

I had a planned C-section for my first and was shaved. My pubes below scar have never grown back. Looks very odd.

Also I bleed a lot when cut, so they must have sewn me up really really tight - absolute agony when healing.

After my second baby, deliveted vaginally, used to have to pee sitting the other way round on the loo and pouring a jug of water over my DooDah whilst weeing for the stinging. Had episiotomy and a big tear.

Also again sewn up really tight, so when it was healing would really pull, like being stabbed with a hatpin up your fandango, owwwch!

My babies were both a bit weird looking too following birth, and I remember thinking, why does mine have to be the one with a cauliflower ear\weird shaped head? Wish I'd known it was pretty normal and would disappear as I am sure it contributed to PND with the first.

Hyperemesis. That you can be sick multiple times daily for nine months. That you can grow a human being on a diet of lemonade, potato waffles, and ice cream.

Spd. Your bones actually grind together. Turning over in bed was absolute agony.

Your nipples grow to the size of dinner plates.

That breastfeeding support on the postnatal ward may well consist of a midwife who stinks of fag ash repeated shoving your newborns face against your boob whilst telling you that "there's no such thing as a bad latch".

That trying to establish breastfeeding while recovering from a c section is actually easier than being pregnant with HG and spd.

Oooh, and that once you've had baby and for Months afterwards you'll be in the shower And you will Swear blind that you can hear your baby crying (and it probably isn't)

Utter fuckers rocking

I was very lucky to give birth abroad, with our own room and a little kitchen on the corridor where you could help yourself to tea and toast and yoghurt and stuff. Very civilised. I drove dh mad by sending him to get me a million cups of tea. Thought I'd take advantage of being catheterised to enjoy it 😁

Yes, I had twins and my ribcage expanded and never went back. 34C to 38DD.

Doctors are clueless to tongue tie

Oh Linds yes just contact the BFN there'll be a breastfeeding supporter near you who can check for tongue tie. Bloody awful (hugs) xx

That's first scan.....the most terrifying and exhilerating moment of your life.

The kicks - that you miss once baby is here, and that years later you swear you can feel even though you're not pregnant (must be wind)

That it is entirely possible to lose weight whilst pregnant. I weighed the same at my booking in appointment as I did at 40 weeks pregnant - I ate and ate and ate and just lost weight :-)

Your hair is thick and glossy and gorgeous (but it doesn't last once baby is here 😪)

That if you have trouble breastfeeding and baby screams in pain and feeds constantly round the clock, and there's a clicking noise, and when you try a bottle
It comes spurting out the sides, or when they stick their tongue out and is heart shaped at the end, or they're diagnosed with reflux, that no amount of rugby ball holds is going to bloody well fix it - get your baby checked by a qualified person (that doesn't necessarily mean a paediatrician either) as it could well mean they have a tongue tie!!!!!!

Ahhhh that's how you spell it! Thanks Fomal 😉 yes, she was evil, DH had just left me a few pound coins, I asked where I could get a cup of tea and she pointed to the vending machine, which only took 50p's. I asked for change and she said they're not allowed money on the wards. Why didn't she just make me one 😪 I honestly just sat and cried and tried to latch. Thanks x

Peeing and not feeling it in 3rd trimester. I only noticed when I changed at the end of day and noticed my underwear smelt like wee. We were at Disneyworld and all the up and down into rides was making me pee, I thought I was just really sweaty.

Pelvic pain beginning at 7 weeks and only getting worse. I didn't realize it wasn't normal, but I would shuffle around the grocery store like a snail, only to be in tears after 10 minutes and barely able to move.

Not just "morning sickness". I didn't realize it could be so horrible, I just thought it would be a bit of vomiting. I didn't know that literally EVERYTHING would stink and I wouldn't be able to eat anything because just the thought of eating would make me nauseous. The midwives gave me no support, they didn't seem to understand, they just said it's a bit hard, isn't it? I guess they didn't feel it was serious because I wasn't actually vomiting. Lasted 22 weeks and some foods I use to enjoy, I still can't eat and they still smell horrible and my DD is 4.

Oooh. I had a ventouse within a c section and also had chunks of tissue ( mine I think) splattered everywhere. My side of the screen was like an abbatoir- fuck knows what the other side looked like...)

I would have killed anyone who prevented me from getting postpartum tea, I really would

Yy to the pelvic pain, it was crippling, woke me up through the night, had to get into downward dog wherever I was to relieve it, (it does give some relief as it take the pressure of the pelvis). I also had carpol tunnel syndrome, very weird infected rash on my arm that was disgusting, lochia afterwards, having to pee in shower, whilst holding shower head on my foo to relieve the pain and sting of the billion stitches. The feeling of having a vontouse .... Omg! I am very quiet in labor, never said a word with either of mine but with DD, my pfb, Jesus, the doctor actually put her foot on the bed for leverage, (gentle suction my arse) I felt like Braveheart and as they pulled her out, the doctors glasses were actually splattered with "everything" and I let out an almighty non-human groan, hence the billion stitches. My DS 18 Mrs later floated out in the pool like a scuba diver without any fuss 😉 I'm now pg with DC3, first dose of morning sickness at 2am this morning, the pelvic floor is non existent now, I sat bottomless on a towel on the bathroom floor and pee'd and vommed for an hour, my DH just popped a glass of water next to me, unputurbed and said "you'll be alright babe" didn't even bat an eyelid 😅 and we will, we'll have to, I'm gonna have 3DC's under 6! 😂

hell on earth, the baby blues particularly; the milky, cheese smell of everything (only ever buy lasinoh breast pads girls - everything else is just a cruel joke) mastitis, thrush, lochia, 3pad's needed bleeding, constantly showering afterwards as there's just milk and blood all over you.

The worst tho is the absolute devil who was the rude fucker on her night shift in hospital who said she couldn't give me change for £1 so I could get a cuppa tea at 3am postpartum - first birth, she should've just made me a cup of fucking tea!!!!!! - then she swaggered in at 5am and said "you should've told us you'd had a vontouse delivery, do you need any pain killers" 😡 fuck off!

Crippling, all-consuming ante and post-natal anxiety. Conveniently put that to the back of my mind now we are considering another. Oh, and that nipple pain that you get from the cold - felt like they were being clamped, I remember being in Prague in November crying in the street with the pain!

Gestational diabetes was a bit of a shock.
Being put off many different foods after throwing them all back up.
I found that my skin was more sensitive after my pregnancy, and foods that I loved before upset me now.

Midwife at ante natal classes saying when your milk comes in you "might feels little uncomfortable". Uncomfortable?! It was bloody agony! And I could not get over the size of my bazookas, going from a 34A to bloody Dolly Parton! Thought I'd be like that forever. Cried and cried!

timegate I didn't have any pain relief and I didn't have anything like an orgasm.... -sigh-

the pain at night of lying on one side, then changing to the other when it hurt too, then sleeping sitting upright on the sofa when both sides hurt too much. No one ever did explain to me what it was. I don't think it was pelvis pain. It felt like I was bruised!

The postnatal hair loss....arrrgh DS is 15 weeks and it's driving me INSANE. I have a lot of hair so didn't notice anymore during pregnancy, but it's everywhere. My hair is up all the time now. I find it in my hairbrush, the shower, hanging down from between my buttocks, in my food, in DHs food, in DS's hands, in DSs mouth....arrrgh

Oh my god. Reading this while only 11 weeks pregnant with my first is the most stupid thing I've done in a very long time. Ladies, I salute you. And I'm fucking terrified.

Laiba do speak to your GP - I had uncomfortable ribs after birth - didn't seem to go back properly - is that how it feels for you? I in fact mentioned it to my cranialsacral therapist / osteopath who I was seeing anyway and she helped to balance things all together. You may get a good result from a complementary practitioner if your GP doesn't take it on board. Or maybe physiotherapy? It really isn't unheard of so please don't suffer!

The extreme pain in your ribs at the back when baby grew to a certain size- above your kidneys. Horrible and couldn't sit down, only stand or lie down and nothing else helped. Working in a desk job was not so fun!!!

I don't have children but my great grandmother had 13. After reading this terrifying post the poor woman is now my heroine!

The diclofenac injection given to me after birth caused horrendous constipation. I had to give birth all over again, alone, 3 days later.
The pregnancy mask on my upper lip that looked like a weird fake tash.
Best time ever.