Things you only learned about pregnancy and birth once you were committed

Developing asthma during pregnancy (and remaining asthmatic afterwards).
The blood. Dear god, the blood.
Post-natal incontinence.
Realising that it didn't matter that my husband ended up at the 'business end' as baby #1 emerged (and that it hasn't changed anything).
Having a epidural that worked on one side of my body and not the other (soon remedied).
Coping with the fact that my body is basically ruined and not actually caring :)

Shit

All about hyperemesis and SPD. I had shot pregnancies

I'm glad other people mentioned the pregnancy sweatiness; I couldn't find anything about it, like I was a lone sweaty weirdo. It occurred during the last couple of months of pregnancy and only when I slept. The sensation of sweat dripping woke me up. Even my shins were sweaty! And it wasn't because I was hot, it was the middle of winter and I tried sleeping out the covers and just ended up wet and cold.

I bought loads of satinary towels and stopped bleeding after about a week, same with breast pads. But I wasn't prepared for the nipple pain! Or how uncomfortable my breats would feel. I was surprised at how hearing my baby cry would make me feel too. My mil kindly took her when we were at their's for an evening meal to allow me to eat a meal all the way through with no interuptions. I could hear dd crying in the next rrom, she'd just been fed so wasn't starving, wasn't suffering any harm but her cry made me physically hurt. I would fet pains in my breasts, feel panicky. The intensity of my feelings towards her really took me by surprise.

Oh and to anyone reading this thread who hasn't experienced it and seriously wants to know what pushing feels like: it doesn't feel like an "iurge" at all, it feels exactly like your body has decided to vomit downwards (exactly the same involuntary violently heaving muscular sensation as when you vomit, only downwards through your abdomen).

My pushes came in batches of three - I couldn't push at all in between and every time it happened it happened exactly three times and then stopped again. I could sort of push with the heaving but my body was essentially doing it itself.

The sickness could last all day and well past the 1st 3 months (I lost a stone in the first 6 months of pregnancy).
The carpal tunnel, I had it with both of my dc and have just had an op to fix it as it came back after 7 years!!
How good the bed bath, tea and toast feels after giving birth.
How awful that first pooh is after cs.
How if you end up with an emergency cs they don't suck out the blood and give you a miny tummy tuck when they sew you back up!! Honestly thought they did!!!

During birth - that nobody, not my midwife and not the NCT had taught me anything about breathing techniques to manage pain. Clueless.
Post birth - That breast feeding would be so difficult and effing painful. ( I got there in the end though and carried on for years)
That clumps of my hair would fall out and clog the bath plug as if I must be going through chemo.
How terribly exhausted I was, couldn't walk up my own stairs and couldn't stand up straight for 3 days as my diaphragm was so bruised from trying to push.

Spd. Your bones actually grind together.

Yes! If I pressed my knees together when I was on my side in bed, I could actually hear my pelvis creaking. Gross.

Another one

You will moult like a husky after giving birth
With waist length hair it was interesting

That 10cm is roughly the diameter of a pack of Dairylea cheese triangles. Never been able to look at those fuckers the same again in the supermarket.

During pregnancy I had pulsatile tinnitus for the first time. I still get it now 3.5 years later!

That when they ask you to pee in a jug after the birth, you should stop at about 100ml to confirm there is no blood in it and not keep going to fill the 2lt jug while your nether regions unexpectedly imitate Niagra Falls.

Colic can result in near-insanity.

Not to panic if you don't love your baby immediately: you will still become a great mum.

My children are grown up but I will never forget that fleeting moment when you look into the eyes of a new born and think ' I know you .And you know everything' .They look so wise .
My pregnancies and labour were both thankfully relatively straightforward .
I can remember being amazed that my body knew exactly what to do .Even if my mind struggled a bit ...

A condition called PUPPS which gave me a itchy rash all over during my third trimester. Apparently only affects twin pregnancies. Found a brilliant pine tar soap that cleared it up in days.
Pelvic pain - it was agony getting out of bed.
Insomnia
Swollen feet that lasted for at least 4 months after birth.
Clumps of my hair shedding (more than I expected)
My skin got darker during pregnancy (especially on my feet and face). I lightened up about 6 weeks after.

I just wasn't expecting to feel so weak
But I was anaemic in pg then lost a lot of blood at delivery (4th degree tear)
So perhaps not so surprising really
I fainted when trying to shower and woke up naked and wet in a pool of blood and clots with 5 people round me
Dh had to do all the nappy changes for the first 48 hours coz whenever I bent over I went funny

Oh, and the pain of breast engorgement worse than giving birth !

HYPEREMESIS GRAVIDARUM absolutely NOT morning sickness... 100x worse ... Definitely wasn't expecting that.. Almost expected to feel sicky as a rite of passage in pregnancy... But not that!

The room looked like a bloodbath after my delivery. The cleaner gasped when she came in. I'm such a bleeder.

i'd forgotton about the sqirty milk ItchyFoot. Sooo surprising the first time... I laughed out loud and squirted all over the place in hysterics!

Yes to the ribs! Dd constantly kicked my ribs from around week 30 and at times I literally screamed out loud.
That morning sickness can last until 25 weeks and then be immediately replaced by heartburn.
Oh and the diaohera - I literally shat myself multiple times (wish we had a downstairs loo).
That you definitely should show your birthing partner where everything is in the bags - he couldn't find a nappy or hat!
The blood after - I jumped off the bed to go to the toilet - nearly fainted and the whole surrounding area was covered in blood. The midwife told me (kindly) to wet myself 😂

Hmm going to the toilet after post birth rest and finding a thing like a calf's liver in my pants - scared the hell out of me as I thought my insides had fallen out but it was just a massive lump of congealed blood (bleagh).

Seriously, having been there with a baby officially labelled as dysmorphic (medical speak for seriously weird looking) by every paediatrician who saw him, if your baby looks properly abnormal, then they'll tell you.

Otherwise it's safe to assume any slightly misshapen head, folded over ears etc is probably normal moulding and squashing from having to be squeezed through a cervix.

I had horrendous pelvic pain in both pregnancies - couldn't walk for the last couple of months second time around. Also had insomnia and restless leg syndrome, terribly swollen feet, barfed at the merest mention of licorice or sweet potatoes (random!), got alopecia after having DS, and an abdominal hernia after DD - tummy muscles have never knitted back together 😟 Hadn't realised how difficult it is getting out of bed after having a Caesarian, and avoided having a poo until I practically exploded, for fear of busting my stitches. Breastfeeding - took me months to master it, got an abscess,nth rush, mastitis and bleeding nipples, and a letdown reflex so powerful that I squirted a guy in a cafe in the eye! Otherwise, it was a walk in the park :-)

I have a UTI, I assume this is because my inconsiderate child had squashed my bladder and I can no longer empty it properly so have urine festering in it. Oddly have absolutely no symptoms and it's only because me routine urine sample showed protein so was sent off to be tested. Oh and your fart smells 10x worse!

Wetting myself on the post natal ward because I waited 2 mins after realising I needed to go. Sneezing is still touch and go.