Things that stay with you.

Thank you. She passed away in 2007. I still can't listen to Chasing Cars without seeing that moment in my minds eye and bursting into tears.

Charley I'm bigger than you!

Me too Tatiana.

One sad, one happy:

"Your son's got cystic fibrosis."

The sonographer at DS2's scan: "There's a definite scrotum!"

My DD (then 21) had been suffering from anorexia for two years. It got pretty bad and out whole lives went on hold for a while. We had a screaming row one day after an abortive visit to a specialist mental health facility and out of the blue she agreed to follow a healthy eating plan that I would enforce.

We had a sticky few weeks where even eating a small slice of toast could take an hour of hysteria, persuasion, supervision, abuse. Then one morning she sat down to eat a boiled egg and soldiers and as she took the first tiny bite she involuntarily went 'mmmm'. Such a tiny thing, I didn't even dare remark on it in case she saw it as 'weakness', but even writing about it makes me cry.

CatThiefKeith, I managed to hold back tears reading this thread but your post just sent me over the edge. Poor little baby

Bad..my mum calling me a disgusting little bastard and telling me noone liked me. On several occasions from about age 7 to 14.

Uncle telling me he would beat me up if I didn't solve rubiks cube that day..age 10.

My best friend at primary telling me she didn't want to be friends any more as she had new friends.

Good: colleague telling me she was so happy I was pregnant because I'm such a nice person.

Same uncle telling me DD would be just fine as she had me for a mum (strange family)

Strangelookingparasite it was odd because we're not an emotionally open family at all. She said it because we were generally talking about why I was so sad and I sort of broke down and told her I had finished with ex but scared I would go back. I told her how I felt useless and scared of being on my own. I think she was exasperated at first but when she saw the state i was in and realised the front I had been putting on for everyone she went into tiger mum mode. I hadn't seen it since I was very young - she said lots more but that's the bit I remember.

"Time is the currency of love" - from a fortune cookie about 20 years ago!

It's what helped me have the courage to take 6 months unpaid leave at the end of my second maternity leave, to hang out with my babies.

Over a year ago I was stood the bus stop and someone walked past and said move your fat arse fatty I laugh about it to people but inside it hurts a little.

I'm a size 12 so not even that big but ive been dieting ever since

'You are enough. You are so enough. It's unbelievable how enough you are.' - general quote

Late one evening at Euston station after a really awful day, a homeless woman approached begging for money. I thoughtlessly put my hand up (in a stop gesture) and said something along the lines of leave me alone, I've had a shitty day.
She said you should try living on the streets, then you'll know what shitty is.
I've never felt so ashamed in my life. I apologised and have her what was in my purse (about a tenner) but I still feel ashamed to think of how snotty and privileged I must seem.
I donate monthly now to Shelter, but still, we all take so much for granted don't we?

In the early days of my relationship with DH, one of his friends told me that DH is "one of the good guys".
It was a throwaway comment but I've never forgotten it. He was absolutely right.

Advice for marriage: be kind to one another.
Given to us on our wedding day. It has stuck with me through the occasional downs that every marriage goes through and is the best advice I've ever received.

Stand behind me, I'll protect you

This phrase. I think I've waited my whole life for someone to say this to me.

"If you are afraid yet still go forward, then you are truly brave"

I read this somewhere and for the life of me can't remember where, but it stuck with me. I sent it to my dad after he had major surgery as he was so so nervous about it.

About 18 months ago when I worked in the city centre there was a lady who came in regularly and we always had a chat. Her 13 you daughter was in the children's hospital undergoing treatment for cancer. One weekend she came in and told me her daughter was having a treatment that was the absolute last chance for her and I'd it didn't work, that was it :(
I never saw her again after that and think about her every single day, hoping the reason she never came back was that they had gone home rather than the alternative. My 3yo nephew is having aggressive chemo currently. This lady was such a brave and stoic woman and I often think about her amazing attitude towards the whole thing when I start feeling a bit overwhelmed about his treatment. I believe her strength is helping me stay strong for my sister and her beautiful boy

And finding my dad (who had moved away and ceased contact). We arranged to meet. He was drunk and kept getting my name wrong. I stayed a little while and when I left, as I walked away, I said to myself "I won't see him again" (not in any nasty way just "that's how it is). I didn't, he died several years after that.

Me, aged 10, a Northerner with a scholarship to girls boarding school down south. Other girls saying "She sounds like Hilda Ogden (Coronation Street circa 1968)". I lost my Northern accent within one week.

Aged 14 as self conscious about my changing body as could be, I had my school skirt on and was sitting in a class. A girl I barely knew from another form was sitting close by she leans over and says " don't you feel embarrassed by your legs looking like that", I shrugged and she says "Well, I would".

Don't know why that's stayed with me all these years.

Also my mum preparing to leave my stepdad and taking my step brother with her, I'm in tears and i turn to her and say, "what about me"? She says "well you're old enough to look after yourself now". I was 19 in absolute bits. although old enough I was in no way emotionally old enough to move out.
Thankfully I lived with step dad until I was 27, had finished my degree and was able to get a full time job. He was a godsend through what was a horrible time for him too!

I've been thinking about this thread so much. forever everyone who's been through so much.

I realised I have so many things that are joyous that stay with me despite picking negative things to post. And the I realised how very very fortunate I am to have a generally very very happy life where despite the large looking negatives I can gloss over them most of the time.

"What's up, little chick?" My mum. She passed away when I was 15. I can still hear her voice when I think about it.

Forward not back.

Sad ones:
Ex - "I keep you around because you do what I say. I don't want you though"

At my nans funeral, as we were all filing out of the church, I heard a bit of a commotion. My stoic auntie was just sat there refusing to move. My mum tried to get her stood up and said "we need to leave now X. We have to go" and my auntie replied "I can't, then she'll
Be gone." It was done so quietly but I'll always remember my aunties face as she said it.

The dr at the fertility clinic, when I went in to get results. "Well you have a problem and you're going to need treatment."

Good ones:
DM when I finally told her about abusive ex "And he's perfect is he? Stand behind me, I'll protect you."

Someone I used to work with (I was his support worker - he was schizophrenic and asd traits) "Isit you taught me how to cook eggs. I wasn't allowed to use the cooker before. You're cool. And I promise I won't catch any fires." You're not supposed to have favourites but he was lovely - had been overly babied by his parents and was desperate to be as independent as possible.

Dnephew "I'll live with you auntie Isit, I'll keep you safe" He is 5.

DH "if you could see you like I do, you'd know you could kick ass"

Gosh some of these are just heartbreaking. I am glad women have each other!

I have many sad ones but actually it was a positive one which jumped out at me.

I was once in a pub, playing pool, when a girl came over to me. She said "I am so sorry to bother you, but I think I saw you once before, you were at X restaurant with a woman, maybe your mom?"

I said yes, my mom and I had been there.

She continued "well I wanted to come over at the time but didn't want to interrupt. I hope you don't think it's weird but I really wanted to say that you have such a nice energy and your smile just lights up a room."

Ermmm...thank you!!?!??

An elderly lady also stopped my ex and I as we were getting ready to cycle home after a street event. She said "enjoy this, this kind of love doesn't come around for many people". We since split up (amicably) and actually, I think she is right! I have met and loved two amazing men in my time, that ex and my DH.