Things that stay with you.

I think this thread should be nominated for classics. I keep coming back to it and being so moved by the posts. It shouldn't just disappear, which it will do if in Chat.

butterflycakes yes, because he came across as rather brusque, I only realise now he was actually a very shy man, so it was really something to hear that!

Olddear, what a lovely memory to have

My dad was a man of very few words. On my wedding day, when I walked out of the bedroom in my wedding dress he said 'you look like a princess' coming from him meant so much to me!
He's not with us anymore, but I've never forgotten his words to me, I'm crying even now thinking about it!

I worked in social services for many years, which sadly did bring me into contact with a huge array of damaged lives. I often think about one lady in particular who on the surface was managing well and only came to our attention because of a routine hospital stay. When I went to see her at home, the house was in a horrendous state - not that uncommon. A colleague of mine took on the case and a few days later told me that the lady, who was in her fifties, had been 'given away' to a relative at the age of four. It seems that the experience of being unwanted at such a young age had eventually manifested into her current situation. I burst into tears ( very unlike me at work!) and always feel so so sad when I think about her. She did, fortunately, get lots of support after that. I've dealt with many more 'serious' situations but that one really affected me.
On a more positive note, I also worked with a lovely family who had been through horrendous experiences due to physical and mental health needs. The Father said to me that in life, he has learned to "dance to the tune that is playing". Amazing man. That has really stuck with me aswell. Oh dear the tears!

Elsa that is so sad.

Another thing that's always stuck with me is when I was pregnant with dd is was really really ill (I ended up hospitalised with hg) ex had forced me to go to work after a few days of sick. I was on the bus on the way in and started with that feeling that I was going to be sick very imminently. There were two elderly ladies sat in the seats opposite and one emptied all her shopping out of the bagame and handed it to me to be sick in. She patted my back and said "she'll be worth every moment like this. You'll be okay"

She was so kind and caring and it was exactly what I needed right then. And sheven was so right! (Even if dd is a massive PITA Sometimes!)

cattheifkeith, that made me cry.

A nice one - I saw my tutor's wife (I babysat for them) on the last day I was at University. She said to me - this place is like Hotel California - you never really leave. That really resonated with me and it was true - I have carried a piece of that place with me ever since

At a difficult time in my life when I felt I had to make a choice a nurse said to me " you can have your cake and eat it!" She was right I chose both and never felt so strong. Choice being to be a nurse or continue my pregnancy... I kept on chosing I went on to study again and have another baby then change my path completely... To that nurse... Thank you, thank you, thank you!

actually I could fill a book with things my sister has said to me. like on my wedding day, when my old dad had cancer and was standing outside for some fresh air and I asked where he was and she said "outside, stupid old bugger."

I dont go near her now

Dafu

Another one that made me cry.

when my mum died and I had to clear her house out and I was shocked to realize I'd have to do it myself as sister was going on holiday, I said "but what about mums house" and she said "there's nothing there that means anything to me". ...that utterly shocked me and always will

Mine's a happy one....

As an A&E nurse it can sometimes be difficult giving patients the time to talk that they need. A few months ago I encountered a young girl who had overdosed after becoming totally overwhelmed by life but she had some regret. I closed the curtains and talked to her for nearly an hour and shared some of my life with her (I made a very serious, almost definite, attempt on my life). I gave her information on the services I accessed and how I had turned my life around from that point. I reassured her that depression no longer carries the stigma that it had and, when she said she feared she could never fulfill her dream of becoming a nurse because of what she had done it told her that, given the state I was in at her age, if I could do it then so could she. She hugged me.

Last month I received a letter to the department from her thanking me for the time I took to talk and that she had been to the appointments made with MH services and will be starting a health and social care diploma in September.

In 15 years all I have ever hoped for is to make a difference to 1 person and I can now retire in 30 years happy knowing I've achieved my goal.

Strangelooking

Another way of phrasing that is 'there is no such thing as a wrong emotion'. Whatever you are feeling at a given moment, no matter how illogical and irrational it might seem to be, is your own real,true self coming through.

If you can stay in touch with your feelings and identify them accurately (harder than it sounds), you will begin find them easier to understand and accept.

I was on the bus when I was about 13 and a family got on, mum and 5 or so kids. They weren't very clean, dirty hair, unwashed clothes. They were a bit smelly :( They had been to town and had shopping. The mum had bought them all a new toothbrush each that came with one of those little toothpaste samples. The kids all got theirs own and started playing with them. They were so excited, it was obvious they never got new things. I think that was the first time It ever really struck me that not everyone has a nice or easy life

I remembered one today, that my sister said to me years ago 'your feelings are not wrong, it's not wrong to feel anything, they're just your feelings'.

I don't know if it makes sense, but it was in relation to feeling wrong to feel something, or not feel something? i can't remember which.

I have a couple - I'm one of those people that always seem to attract random strangers or maybe I'm just too polite to ignore them???

A "fortune teller" came into my place of work when I was about 20yrs old and offered to do me a reading (if I crossed his Palm) I thought he was just trying to con me out of a fiver but he was remarkably accurate with his predictions! The main prediction being that My future husband was already known to me but it would still be a huge surprise to everyone including me! Which it was. Sadly he also said that I would never be rich - but I would have a rich live and will always be happy! So far so good!

This.

Some lovely memories on here and also some awful ones - to those who have had cruel comments and behaviour sticking with them.

It's sad how the negative comments can stick and how sometimes we can lose sight of the wonderful things people say and do when these things deserve to be cherished and remembered forever. Having said that, it's probably a good thing to write some of the negative stuff down so you can objectively see how unfair and ridiculous it was.

I think bertie'sgal hit the nail on the head when she said often people are just projecting their own inner unhappiness when they say cruel stuff, which isn't to excuse it but rather to remember that their bile is not about you, it's about them.

Mines a happy one! Talking about the man who got shot protecting his wife during the Tunisia terrorist my dh turned to me and said 'I'd do that in heartbeat to protect you'.

I will never forgive the Headteacher who at sports day who, when my son won 1st place in a little race in reception over the microphone said his name laughing as though she could not believe he would ever win anything. (My son has Dyspraxia)

Similarly I will not forget (or forgive for the stress) the conversation where a teacher had said at open evening "your son has autism but I don't have time to talk about it" (note to any teachers on this thread - please do not ever do this). Years down the line - actually he does not have autism.

Mainly negative for me.

"Are you a bit thick?" Step grandad

"Who's going to look at you?" Step grandad

"Why would anyone spike your drink?" Step grandad

Funnily enough, me and my step grandad get on very well and my nan tells me how much he thinks of me. I don't think he realises how much an effect words have on a child.

"Are you thick as shit?" Dad

"I had a dream last night where you committed suicide, why don't you make it come true?" Twat at school who was uuterly awful to me and knew full well I was feeling suicidal.

"We all have problems but we don't sit crying about them" cow at school where I sat for a whole hour crying and not one person asked how I was, even my best friend who was sat right beside me. Scared the hell out of them when I disappeared after.

"My problems are way worse than yours" said by cow at school who's sister had had a miscarriage and I was going through some really hard stuff to do with being abandoned by my mother when I was little (as she knew full well).

"It's unlikely you'll ever have children without help" (thankfully that doctor was wrong).

"I have respect her wishes and not give you her address" said to me by my grandad about my 'mother' who wants nothing to do with me.

Same thing been said by a few people "it's amazing how normal/well you have turned out given your past" I like that one.

"You look beautiful mummy" often said by either DC when I buy something new or dress up.

"You are very pretty" said by my uncle more than once, as I've always felt ugly and worthless, the fact he is the only person to tell me this has always stayed with me.

Another positive... I admitted to a friend that I was really struggling with DS and that I'm just not a natural mother. He just looked at me and said 'but don't you see? You're the best kind of mother. You find it hard and you struggle but every day you get up and try and you do the best by your boy. Do you not think that that effort you put in makes you just as wonderful mother as someone who it comes naturally to?'

Also another friend, told him I felt like running away and never looking back 'but you're not going to do that' he had absolute faith in me that I'd do the right thing and I wouldn't give up, and he was right.

Telling my children their dad was dying. Telling them he had died. I relive that every day.

Seeing my then 12 year old son hug his father's body in the funeral home, crying and begging him to come back.

I have so many I could mention over my dad. I could write a book.

So much love and to all of you