Things that stay with you.

'Trying' for a baby for what seemed like years.....with lots of unhelpful comments. Having very unexpected twin boys - losing one of those precious lads when he was 6 months old. Moving house. Getting pregnant again 2 years later.....beautiful 3yrd son. Move forward 7 years and DS3 is killed by a reversing lorry delivering pop to the estate. 6 years later DS4 was born. So 4DS's and only two here. Wish I had a penny for everybody who said 'you are so brave' (I'm not) - 'I couldnt have lived through all that! (maybe you couldnt but somehow I did).......etc, etc, etc. Sometimes a hug is all that is needed.

When I was 7 months pregnant, my DH told me that he was leaving me as he loved someone else. I was walking home one day ftom work when a man said "Cheer up love, it might never happen".

Tinged??? = ringing!

A positive one

Phone call, at home one Sunday evening 12 years ago. I was nursing a sprained ankle and almost didn't get up to answer it!

"I'm sorry about tinged you at home, but you did say not to ring you at work. I'm ringing to offer you the job..."

12 years later I can't imagine ever working anywhere else.

Aged 19my dad launched a pint glass at me (can't remember why) it missed me and shattered above my 16 month old son's head. I shouted "the baby!" And my dad thought I meant the baby I was pregnant with and said "I hope it dies".

Oh Keith .

Similarly, I didn't know DH's grandma very well, and only knew her as a bitter, grumpy old lady. FiL (her son) is very much a product of a 1940s/50s "boy's don't cry" upbringing and grammar school education. Very stiff upper lip. He gave the eulogy ad his mother's funeral, and pulled in many interesting best of family/Sheffiled history and anecdotes about her life. He delivered it very well (he is an academic and quite at home with conference speaking). As he got to the end, he started to cry, turned off the microphone and said quietly "Goodbye Mum, and thanks for all the love".

There were 4 or 5 toddler great grandchildren at the funeral. Gradually they were taken out by their parents. FiL says he'll always remember coming out of the crematorium to see them all kicking a ball about and laughing.

The sight of my best friends 4 year old dd laying a rose on her coffin and saying 'goodbye Mummy'

It wasn't said to me but to DH. He had watched his dad die, performed cpr but it didn't work. 3 days later his mum chose that time to tell him she was having an affair.

Seeing the post mortem photos of a young girl who had been horrifically abused and murdered. It was 15 years ago now but I can still see the images in my minds eye.

My 5 year old son meeting his newborn sister " Oh Mummy.....she's beautiful!"

I met my DH just weeks after splitting up with my first husband.I asked my Mum if she thought it was too soon. " You only walk this way once she said " so on the way through, you grab anything you can to make you happy".Me and DH have been together for 20 years, are very happy and have two great kids.

I've had DH ask me "is it mine?" When we found out I was pregnant...he does have a way with words! His proposal was taping the ring to the valentines day card and saying "will you be my official bit?!". He has also joked about the baby coming out black, as apparently I have a thing for black men (I do a bit, but have never been with a black man in my life, DH is ginger as can be!). Baby is as ginger as he is and I'm sure there was a comment about how there was no doubt now!

Dad threw the wreath on to Grand coffin. He didnt realise the flowers were on a heavy plastic frame to stop it blowing away.
It landed with a resounding BOOM noise that gave everyone there the horrors. It was fucking awful.

Ex telling me I looked obscene when I was about 8 months pregnant and then within minutes of dd being born (and her looking very like him) him saying 'well I suppose I can't deny she's mine then' He never wanted me to have her and got together with his now wife 3 days before dd was born.
On the upside have had lots of precious moments with dd that will stay with me for ever

I was 6 when my parents were stressing about my reading and speaking ability - I have spent my life with mild sen. I remember my grandad sitting beside me and saying to my mum "you're wrong about 80's. She'll be just fine". And I am.

Many issues over the years with confidence but this is the place I always go to when I feel crap about myself.

Think it is fair to say, you only need one person in your life to really believe in you and love you to put things right.

2ndSopranos, your manager is an absolute gem - so rare!

My mum's come out with a few corkers. "One day, Soprano, someone will find you attractive". Took me years to feel I could be beautiful. And "I don't know how anyone could be in a relationship with someone with a mental health problem". She doesn't know I was diagnosed with depression seven years ago.

On that, I had a horrendous time with my anxiety and depression last year. Almost the worst I've been. On one particular day I started to feel like it was all too much and I had a panic attack at work. Followed by months of almost not being able to leave the safe confines of my office once I'd got to work. My manager was unbelievably supportive through all of that. When I apologised he looked me straight in the eye and said "Never apologise; you never apologise. You'll be okay. You will. It's going to be okay"

Even though I felt all my strength was gone I held onto that and it really helped.

I want to add another positive one. When I was 16 I got robbed while alone in Brighton. Nothing dramatic, but I got stuck without any money a long way from anyone who could help me. I had some small change in my pocket and was asking a bus driver if I could just go as far as the change would take me. Some total stranger overheard me and came to pay my full fare. He then sat with me (busy night bus) and made sure I was fine and that I found my friend. I was so very thankful!

Have just been reminded of the awful funeral after the suicide of a colleague's 18 year old son. Apparently some Catholics regard this as a sin, and the priest who took the service couldn't have made his distaste clearer - this even extended to the grieving mother, to whom he spoke not one word

Come the interment, the poor mum placed a hand on the coffin as they started to lower it, bending down further ... and further ... it really seemed at one point that she was going to throw herself down there with him

"I don't give a fuck about you" - my dad. I haven't seen him since (this was a few years ago).

"It's a shame your boobs are so small, fat girls usually have big ones" - an emotionally abusive ex. This was about 20 years ago and I've never forgotten it.

As others have said, I could give plenty of negatives but I won't.

A random man whom I gave way to, on a pedestrian street in Bristol: " What a lovely smile!" He had no ulterior motive for saying it. I've never forgotten.

A conversation with DS1 where I said I loved him and he said "Well I don't love you." He then considered and said "I mean, I love you a bit." He's very undemonstrative so this is beyond rubies to me.

A card from my then 13yo sister in Dubai saying 'I miss you. Stop being somewhere else'. I was at uni in the UK at the time.

DS2 cuddling with me and being my lovely baby.

Those are my best memories.

The gut-wrenching sobbing noises my friend's mum made at her funeral will always stay with me.

''You want to get yourself over to Thailand mate. The young lasses there are cracking and they let you do whatever you want to them''

Said by a fat, balding, bespectacled, anorak wearing 40 something man at a railway station to DP.

He'd wandered over to ask him the time and I overheard him say it after some idle chatter. It's always stayed with me and makes me feel sad, thinking of a poor 19 year old girl being pawed by a fat old lech.

''ArmySal how dare you pick my daffodils?!'' Said by my irate school teacher in the holidays after I decided to take a bunch home for my mother, totally unaware it was her garden. I've never picked a flower since.

My dad, distraught, walking into my hotel room on holiday and saying 'There's been an accident. It's your brother. He's going to die'.

He did.

A year later, my dad telling me 'Your mum has died'.

The sonographer going silent as she scanned me at my 12 week scan, then sadly but kindly saying 'What I'm seeing here is a pregnancy of around five weeks. There is no heartbeat'.

But I'm now lying here listening to DD (eight months old) snoring perfectly in her cot. DS (6) is due home from school any minute. If the above three things hadn't happened, I wouldn't have either of them.

to the amazing posters on this thread.

Yours made me laugh and cry Kurtsey.

Holy Hell Karlakitten1
I hope he's your STBExH!!!
What a cock!
If you need more support post your own thread in Relationships!

Oh and dd1, thankyou for giving me a baby sister always makes me smile