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Original poster

Remind me again why it would be unreasonable to ban a fully function adult from touching the curtains?

107 replies

HoneyDragon · 30/05/2016 23:07

It's a bendy pole. They do not need to be vigourously yanked with vigourously vigour to the ends of the pole.

If you do that then the poor smuck that closes them has to stand on the settee to put them back in the original place so they can open and shut with just a swish.

I don't see how it can be unreasonable to get a megaphone and scream

STOP FUCKING UP THE CURTAINS YOU BIG EVIL CURTAIN ANNHILATING BASTARD.

And yes this is the absolute most important thing I have to worry about. All other worries are mere vexations in comparison to this Angry

OP posts:
StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine · 31/05/2016 00:16

Did someone say pelmet?
pbs.twimg.com/media/BLauS8_CMAAV0TZ.jpg

Original poster
HoneyDragon · 31/05/2016 00:11

Talc

You know you're your history Grin

OP posts:
elephantoverthehill · 30/05/2016 23:55

If you are going to meet in the middle about this situation OP, perhaps it would be well to buy him a copy of 'Swish of the Curtain', by Pamela? That might well be a good mediation gift.

RJnomore1 · 30/05/2016 23:48

Omg. I wishful could think of a pun but...

Dd2

Mum the curtains above my bed have come down

Mum the curtains on my cupboard have come down

Mum my blind has come down

AAARGH

TalcAndTurnips · 30/05/2016 23:48

You do have a point, though, Honey - apparently several prominent relationships have come to an end over issues involving curtains.

The whole Anne of Cleves malarkey was nothing to do with her being on the homely side - it was because she objected to Hezza wiping the royal chopper on the tapestry four-poster drapes after the wedding night fumble. She swore at him in German and threw a full chamber pot over his favourite doublet. Divorce ensued - she was lucky to remain attached to her head, given the circumstances.

Eminent historians have also put forward the theory that Cleopatra in fact stabbed Mark Antony with a length of Swish curtain track, after having asked him to put it up in the back bedroom at least twenty-six times in the space of the preceding fortnight. She then strangled herself with an ornamental tasselled tie-back that may have looked a bit like a snake if you glanced at it quickly.

CrapDIL · 30/05/2016 23:46

Is it all bad op, or is there a silver lining?

Buzzardbird · 30/05/2016 23:45

What a pane!

paxillin · 30/05/2016 23:45

I've got 2 curtain annihilators, one teenaged, one in his fourties. They SIT on them. Curtains in front of garden door step, step doubles up as seat. Open the fucking curtains before plonking yourself down. If you sit on them, they come down Angry. Every time, so why repeat the experiment?

SnuffleGruntSnorter · 30/05/2016 23:45

Eyelet my DH do what he likes with the curtains as long as he takes care of the pole himself

SilentBob · 30/05/2016 23:42

Well voile be damned...

BastardGoDarkly · 30/05/2016 23:41

I think we need a poll to figure out your unreasonableness.

SusanAndBinkyRideForth · 30/05/2016 23:40

Careful though, he might do a runner, or go off the rails. Gather your thoughts carefully before addressing this hanging offence Grin

elephantoverthehill · 30/05/2016 23:38

Voile you are freaking out about your curtains, could you not a little swagger and demonstrate the correct method of bringing this to a close?

FrayedHem · 30/05/2016 23:37

Obviously it's your curtain call, but you'll make a rod for your own back if you derail his efforts.

Original poster
HoneyDragon · 30/05/2016 23:37

Is this thread compleated yet?

(May as well join in)

OP posts:
Crispbutty · 30/05/2016 23:36

I would let him off the hook

BoffinMum · 30/05/2016 23:35

Sheer bliss, this thread

MrsWalterBishop · 30/05/2016 23:33

Best thread comments ever! Grin

AgingJuvenileBinkyHuckaback · 30/05/2016 23:33

I think we probably are runnering out of puns.

So now, the end is near....

MrsWalterBishop · 30/05/2016 23:33

Best thread comments ever! Grin

SusanAndBinkyRideForth · 30/05/2016 23:32

Tell him it's all in a smooth wrist action. Maybe he needs more practice? Or lubrication can help Grin

TheUnsullied · 30/05/2016 23:31

Relationship ship! Grin obviously not what I'd intended to say.

TheUnsullied · 30/05/2016 23:30

(I'm really fucking digging now)

elephantoverthehill · 30/05/2016 23:30

Initially I was hooked in by this thread, but now I think it needs to ring fenced.

TheUnsullied · 30/05/2016 23:30

Shit like this really ruffles the fabric of the relationship ship.