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Original poster

Remind me again why it would be unreasonable to ban a fully function adult from touching the curtains?

107 replies

HoneyDragon · 30/05/2016 23:07

It's a bendy pole. They do not need to be vigourously yanked with vigourously vigour to the ends of the pole.

If you do that then the poor smuck that closes them has to stand on the settee to put them back in the original place so they can open and shut with just a swish.

I don't see how it can be unreasonable to get a megaphone and scream

STOP FUCKING UP THE CURTAINS YOU BIG EVIL CURTAIN ANNHILATING BASTARD.

And yes this is the absolute most important thing I have to worry about. All other worries are mere vexations in comparison to this

OP posts:

puglife15 · 31/05/2016 09:01

Hope he pleats for forgiveness this morning

Playduh · 31/05/2016 08:56

Mardlebum -

Pimmmms · 31/05/2016 08:47

Oh i am so place marking until i have enough caffeine to think of a witty response!

TheSnowFairy · 31/05/2016 08:41

I thought it was you that had been banned from the curtains but reading on I see you just need to calm down and pull yourself together.

IAmALeafOnTheWindWatchHowISoar · 31/05/2016 08:07

I've asked for this to be moved to Classics. You lot deserve to be immortalized, who knew there was so many curtain puns?

BigChocFrenzy · 31/05/2016 07:22

Most important, can the neighbours see your DH through the curtains ?
You don't know what he might get up to if you don't supervise

Homebird8 · 31/05/2016 07:04

Does he close his eyes as he draws back the curtains? Perhaps he needs confidence in what he though he knew?

blueskyinmarch · 31/05/2016 06:09

A bendy pole is no use to anyone love, everyone knows a stiff pole does the job better.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 31/05/2016 05:54

oh Honey! [dieslaughing]

I have no puns. I just can't bring myself to think of any. Has the fat lady sung yet?

NorksAreMessy · 31/05/2016 05:45

I love Mumsnet

TheTurtleMoves · 31/05/2016 05:41

Talc please start that thread! I must know about histporical figures and their loft conversions. I MUST!

MardleBum · 31/05/2016 05:32

Dear Mr Dragon

This is your wife's solicitor speaking. She has instructed me to bring about divorce proceedings on the grounds Drape And Battery. I am gathering the evidence and it's looking like an open and shut case against you.

It is imperative that you seek legal representation as possible. Ask your solicitor to contact me. The sooner this whole unseamly matter is drawn to a close the better.

Yours faithfully

Mr Haber of Messrs Haber and Dashery, Solicitors

Dear Mr Dragon

Thank you for instructing me to represent you. I have a small window at 4pm tomorrow and I suggest that we meet to discuss your case. ment

How do you intend to pleat? Quilty or not quilty? There is a strong chance we can get you off the hook, so you hang in there and pull yourself together. Hopefully this can be quickly resolved and both sides can meet in the middle.

Yours faithfully

Mr Swag of Messrs Swag and Tail Solicitors.

Hairyspiderinyourunderwear · 31/05/2016 03:54

Tieback his hands so he can't mess with them, then drape yourself over something comfortable and pelmet yourself a minute or two of peace.

Tuiles · 31/05/2016 02:13

You might say you are in a blind rage...

Iknownuffink · 31/05/2016 02:11

I cannot abide curtain fiddlers.

Step away from the curtains or you may be impaled on the ...

TheWizardOfOs · 31/05/2016 01:30

Pooh careful. Someone will be along shortly to question your unreasonable rage and call him a 'poor bloke'.

Justbeingnosey123 · 31/05/2016 01:28

If he can't pull things together soon I'd definitely LTB.

NanaNina · 31/05/2016 01:24

Fabulous puns - can't think of one myself - it's too late - well that's my excuse. My favourite is CrapDIL's above - "is it all bad or is there a silver lining" but there are so many other good ones...........

Babymamamama · 31/05/2016 00:39

Yanbu. LTB. It's obviously curtains for him.

TalcAndTurnips · 31/05/2016 00:35

wah.

I haven't even touched on Catherine the Great's festoon blinds in her downstairs loo. Or Edward the Black Prince and his dilemma with marks left on the plasterwork when he took the cafe rod down in the kitchen.

There's another whole thread to be had discussing prominent figures in history and their loft conversions. I may start it one day.

LucyBabs · 31/05/2016 00:35

Ds is four and his joke of the month is " what did the doctor say to the man who said he felt like a pair of curtains? Pull yourself together. Oh how we have laughed eleventy million times

Made me think of you honey
Although my exdp had a serious grudge against our curtains in our previous home. There was a nack to closing our living room curtains but ex just seemed to love to beat the shit out of the curtains. Ex never won

Unicow · 31/05/2016 00:28

We need to draw all the comments together so a pole can be taken.

SistersOfPercy · 31/05/2016 00:21

There was a comedian on TV last night talking about angrily drawing curtains. He made the point that you can't angrily twist blinds closed. this morning I tried to angrily open mine to check. Turns out he's right

dowhatnow · 31/05/2016 00:20

What is the net effect on your relationship? Will he cotton on do you think?

GreatFuckability · 31/05/2016 00:19

I don't think you have a dh problem, you have a MN problem.

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