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I saw a beggar on the way to work today - don't really agree with giving money as they may spend it as they see fit, or giving sandwiches as they're a bit carb-heavy, so I got dd to draw him a quick picture and sing a song to raise his spirits. He looked at me in a very funny way - I don't think I'm going to bother trying to help any more. Feeling quite upset - dd's feelings were really hurt

AIBU, or was DD's lovely gesture very rudely rejected by this man?

Oh God, am crying with laughter at work about identify as a potato

To avoid gender sterotyping when DD was born, I put her in tweed babygros and got her an account at my gunsmiths. She got her first 12 pointer at 4, and butchered it herself. Turning vegan at 6 was not an ethical decision (how else do you get protein out of 60 square miles of marginal heather?) but to disguise her scent while stalking.

For our summer holiday this year we are cycling to Italy (yes, TO Italy, not IN Italy). So much nicer than all that faffing around on aeroplanes and much better for the environment too.

My three eldest have all got new Islabikes as, at ages 3, 5 and 6, they're more than ready to clock up some serious touring miles. The eldest two have already won several Cyclocross comps up here where we live. The bikes are pricey I know but worth it as the resale value is so high and of course they grow so fast they of course need a new bike every year.

My 6 year old will be pulling baby (3 months) in a trailer (yes, so proud of him! It is a top spec carbon fibre one - again blooming pricey but wonderfully light).

IMO It's worth the expense to get mum and dad the whole family enjoying life on two wheels.

I identify as a potato and have encouraged DCs to do the same

Whilst I would not to judge anyone and agree that it is best to try to be gender/species/organism neutral where possible I don't think you have given sufficient consideration to the potato's right to limit the use of the word potato to organisms that are biologically potatoes and have suffered the hardships that come with that. However strongly you identify as a potato and whatever difficulties you have had to overcome as a result of this the fact is that you did not grow in the ground like a potato. You may also be pretending to identify as a potato in order to get closer to biological potatoes so that you can take advantage of them and turn them in to chips.

Of course we didn't buy the helium for the balloons. Xerxes and Iphigenia synthesised it themselves with a small thermonuclear fusion generator they built in the summerhouse.

Bach you say? Well, that's a very regimented and technical style of music. We're free spirits in this house so we much prefer some avant guard 20th century Russian music, and it goes so well with DD's Russian literature studies. I think it's important to really absorb yourself in a country's culture when you're learning the language, it's the least you can do.

I don't take my children to McDonalds

Whilst I empathise with parents whose babies don't sleep much, it really comes down to how you approach pregnancy. I put headphones on my tummy and played classical music (mainly Bach) during pregnancy and my perfect DD arrived and slept 7-7 from day 1 and carried on doing this. DD now loves to change her own sheets and duvet every other day whilst listening to Radio 3.

My child personally set up a petition against a possible greggs opening locally.
He handed out organic gluten free vegan falafels to supporters that he made himself using ancient grains

I'm having a shit right now, but pop the kettle on and I'll be there in a mo!

Literally 😂😂😂😂😂

Shirking- you poor thing. I think if these people are your true friends they will see that it's your wedding and important that you have it the way that you want it. I'm sure they will come round- perhaps you should some sort of additional pre-wedding get together to remind everyone what a lovely person and good friend you are. As you say, you've got 3 months before the big day so plenty of time for everyone to travel to an extra gathering as well as hen/stag events.

Having said that, is it possible that some of your guests/bridesmaids really can't afford to pay the full cost of the celebrations? Obviously you could have avoided this problem if you were more discerning about who you and your OH mix with. But if you really do have friends who are not as wealthy as you (maybe they do lots of volunteer work instead of having a high flying job so are poor but not too rough) have you thought about splitting the cost of the Island and the travel differently? Maybe you could book all the flights together (you might be able to negotiate a discount that way) then 'sell' seats on to your guests. You can then make a decision about how much to charge each guest that is fair to all of them (for example- people who you have known longest can pay more as they have had the benefit of your friendship for longer, people who have children could pay more since they can clearly afford nurseries etc so have plenty of cash and will be grateful for a week without the kids).

If those with children really refuse to come without them could you provide a nanny for the week or invite them to bring grandparents to watch the DC? I'm sure you could find a local teenager who would come along for a few quid and the parents would be more than happy to leave him/her in charge. Otherwise surely if you invite the grandparents (on the clear basis that they are not invited to take part in any of the wedding activities so they won't get in the way) I'm sure they'd all love to come along. This could help with the cost issue too as they can be charged in full for their travel and board (since they are retired and will not have a mortgage to pay for they will easily be able to afford it and it will be the holiday of a lifetime for them as they will have the GC).

The only part of your post that I think was a bit unreasonable was the idea that you are going to let the bridesmaids choose their own dresses. Have you thought this through? What if they go with something cheap and nasty? It's fine to make them pay (after all- they will be getting a lovely made to measure dress that they get to keep and can dress down with clever use of jewellery and shoes to wear for other occasions) but shouldn't you choose the dresses?

Best of luck- and don't forget to include a lovely poem asking for cash when you send our the invitations- wouldn't want to end up with loads of dodgy homewear would you:)

I identify as a potato and have encouraged DCs to do the same

You absolutely shouldn't be doing this. What if they want to identify as other vegetables? Don't you know you're stifling their freedom to be whatever they want to be?

Thank you Rogue.

I identify as a potato and have encouraged DCs to do the same - people don't really understand how hurtful it is on so many levels when I see their DCs eating chips [shocked]

Rogue, your post really resonates with me.

After all, we are all just bundles of energy, subatomic particles and dark matter. I learnt that on the OU course DD was doing last year to stretch her before starting school.

Some of us are just blessed to be more in synch than others.

It's great that posters are thoughtful enough to treat everyone as gender neutral. Tbh I prefer not to be speciesist. It subconsciously discriminates against all other organisms. I don't tick any of the gender boxes on forms but cross them out and write 'Organism, connected with all other beings'.

We're vegans but I used to feel bad about eating root vegetables and thereby killing the plant, but now that we use our own faecal waste as manure I feel re-connected with the biosphere again. Nutrient levels of our crops are also higher than 'standard' organic produce but I don't mind the DC eating food we haven't grown ourselves sometimes. I wouldn't want to be a fanatic .

This is brilliant.
My 10 year old had no idea he had exams last week. In fact, the only thing he remarked on was that the work was markedly easier than he is used to. He finished so early that he used the remaining time to be mindful about the obese screen-addicted children with pushy parents at underperforming schools who might have felt stressed by the exam.

His six year old brother will be performing Yogic Flying during the phonics screening check: we agreed that this will not only challenge him appropriately as he already has a reading age of 25, but will send a positive, calming aura to the lesser children.

For some reason his teacher seemed to have reservations about that, but I think it's because she doesn't have a clean diet.

My friends are being utterly unreasonable. DP and I are getting married in August. We've gone to the trouble of hiring a small island off the coast of Fiji for 500 of our closest friends and family. We were engaged in May and are getting married in August, so it's ample notice (three months). It's a 36 hr flight and two boat crossings so we thought it would be best if we didn't invite any children. We are planning to have a week of celebrations.

I'm utterly flabbergasted that my friends and family are saying they can't make it as it's too expensive and too short notice. I'm beginning to think the real reason they are making excuses is because they don't like my DP. Two bridesmaids were incredibly ungrateful when I said they could choose (and pay for) their own dress, hair and makeup. I'm so frustrated I'm thinking of cancelling the Hawaii hen-do in June to snap some sense into my friends.

That's nice, dear.

Oops shouldn't have posted while breastfeeding the triplets - 'the' not 'tge'!

I'm surprised you even notice that your husband has female friends. That's really quite offensive. In our family everyone is gender neutral. I have no idea what sex anyone is and I don't care to ask.

Saffron you couldn't be further from the truth. I don't know where dh is now , I haven't seen or spoken to him for 4 months and have no idea when I will see him next. That is tge strength of our love.

Cry for them? I pay for the whole family to have a chef to cook and serve organic, vegan food in carefully measured out portions so they can lose weight. I mean, you can't expect people to take responsibility for themselves can you! Failing that it's gastric bands all round for those who choose.

Zaza and Saffron: ooh, I don't know, sounds a bit odd all this 'female friend' business to me. Not because I'm jealous - heaven forfend! - but because haven't we all noticed that women are dreadful, bitchy, harpies? Can you even be 'friends' with women? I for one ensure to never make female friends, and DH of course does the same: after all, he's already married to the one woman who doesn't get involved in cliques and bitching! We both prefer male friends - they're just so much more straightforward, y'know

My twins Kale and Quinoa have been vegan since birth, refusing to breastfeed. They will only drink organic, cruelty free, artisan almond milk made from free range almonds. They are on the 3rd percentile which my idiotic health visitor thinks is a problem but I TOLD her the percentiles are wrong and everyone else's kids are obese. I could just cry for those obese children......