Mumsnet Top Trumps

Oh, I know it's not relevant to anything, so sorry in advance that I'll be boring everyone, but half of our cellar (where we store all our organic hand pressed juices) is bricked up, has been since we moved in. I don't like doing any 'DIY' type activities and wouldn't relish trying to move the large Victorian safe that's in front it anyway, so it's OK just to leave well alone isn't it? Reminds me, we haven't opened up the attic since we moved in either....

Mumsknitter call 999... and ring up the papers, that's just discrimination, sexism, Health-and-safety-gone-mad-jobsworth-not-apllying-any-common-sense!

A mum with a buggy got on the bus today, so I made all the other passengers, including two using wheelchairs, get off to give her space.

And yet you left the driver stay onboard? What if they'd crashed the bus causing that poor mum and her DC to get injured or worse? Next time please think before you act so rashly!

You let your towels come into contact with the atmosphere Guns? Well it's your family whose lives you are risking and I don't want to judge. I wouldn't but that's just me.

we keep all our towels in hermetically sealed containers and the minute they hit the atmosphere they are laundered.

• WAS asked to leave

I was in the local swimming pool, breastfeeding my 5 year old DTs (feeding was helping to bring on my contractions), when I asked to leave the pool!

"No!" I said - it being a complete sentence. How could I leave the pool? The baby's head was already out, and I just needed one more push for the shoulders. A water birth is so natural, I just don't understand why anybody would object. The wave machine was off FFS!

I had been hoping that the poolside cafe would cook the placenta for lunch - so nutritious. But I ended up so upset I left early in tears with the cord dangling between my legs. Should I sue? Or phone 101?

A mum with a buggy got on the bus today, so I made all the other passengers, including two using wheelchairs, get off to give her space.

I Always give clean cups for each drink, I do reuse teabags as that's just logic. I invite Mil to give feedback on how to improve my housekeeping, parenting and wifey skills.
I always cancel my cheques because I'm tight just to be safe. My pug is currently working for NATO whilst dd1 is doing outreach in Birmingham I make sure she has stab vest and rape alarm it's character building and she is 5.
DH washes guests feet as they enter and leave and I give reflexology to ensure good zen. We have 2 DW's 1 for dishes and 1 for bones/toilet seats and potties.

Yvaine

I've been Marie Kondoing my home this weekend.

Having got rid of everything that doesn't bring me joy, I'm down to a spiralizer and a mooncup.

Just Grade 7 Ginslinger? Well, it's nice that you're proud of all her little achievements I suppose...

To be on the safe side, before we started renovations on our home we bought a small house on the outskirts of the village so the builders can use that lavatory. When work is complete we will turn the house over to the church so that elderly nuns can pass their final years there.

DD1 passed her grade 7 piano before I had even conceived her.

Dd has always had an interest in the Natural World (obviously), so it was quite lovely to find out she has been given her own slot on Springwatch after she corrected Chris Packham's episode on otters.I did stress slightly about taking her out of nursery, but I think this is such a valuable experience.

There have been 2 men and woman in a gorilla suit sitting in a Mini Cooper outside my house since 1992.

Wow. Just.... wow.
(To nobody in particular)

Another private or grammar (sorry )

My bright, beautiful, intelligent, popular, polite, funny, musically gifted, sporty, kind, witty, self aware, empathetic, easy going, confident dd needs to chose which secondary school to go to.

She's passed all the entrance exams for all the top private schools within a 15 minute walk of our house (there are 50) and has been offered full bursaries from all of them. In addition the headteacher at our local outstanding grammar school phones me daily asking if dd will go there? He's even offered to pay for all of her uniform and all of her school trips for the entire time she's there plus he'll pay her university fees if she agrees to go to the grammar.

So wise MNetters what WWYD, state or grammar?

Oh and I've asked dd and she's so easy going she said she doesn't mind so she's no help.

Aibu I make all of my children's clothes from fair trade fabrics sourced whilst on my gap year. According to my friend I shouldn't keep making more clothes for children and let them whare rags from M&Sarah should I tell her to fuck of?
The same friend also gave my child some wattsits I'm horrified as my little one has never even seen crisps as I grow all my own food and make all my own bread. We don't eat dairy or meat OBVIOUSLY .1
I can hear little chillyegg crying as we speak for more wattsits apparently my once loved homemade tofu slices are no longer a favourite.

I don't use any toiletries of any description. A flannel and plain recycled rainwater is all it takes to keep clean and groomed. I don't even need toothpaste as I follow a no sugar alkaline diet.

I think it looks better to keep it natural, and I've saved so much money on toiletries that I have been able to fund my dcs private and further education.

However, each to their own is my motto (in Latin, but I thought I should translate). Some people prefer to look fake and send their dcs to sink comprehensives which don't teach Classics, and I'm fine with that.

squoosh I'm afraid I found that unreadable Please could you put it into proper paragraphs and remove the "text" speak, thanks so much!

Manormouse You both sound lovely

There we are with the boastfulness again

Do you even love your children?

I know you'll all accuse me of stealth-boasting now but I gave my children to a passing Hollywood celebrity. She only had seventeen and felt that my three would round it off nicely. I think I did the right thing as they'll finally be given all that I couldn't provide such as, wealth, fame, a bizarre new name, a lifetime of addiction to prescription drugs as well as an inability to escape the clutches of various woo merchants and assorted human leeches.

That was all fabulous of you manor up until the point you told us about it....

Rather boastful of you really. Do you even love your children?

I glanced out the front window earlier, while checking that none of my neighbours were drying their washing outside their front doors, when I spotted a young woman looking at my house. I immediately went out to see why she was molesting my own dear house with her eyes but she allayed my fears by telling me she was admiring my home.

We got to talking and she admitted that she would love to own a home like mine but can't afford to do so. I decided that this wouldn't do and told her that she can have my house to call her own. I'll find a spot on the local common to pitch my yurt as I feel that I couldn't live with the guilt of owning a home when others are unable to do so. Of course, I'll still pay all the utility bills and fund any improvements and repairs as it's not fair to unload a house on some complete stranger yet expect them to pay anything towards it. I'll be only too happy to lower my carbon footprint in any case.