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Original poster

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406 replies

DeadAsADildo · 13/05/2016 21:59

(Inspired by another thread-posts may be entirely fictional)

My 10y old has never had a fizzy drink in his entire life.

OP posts:
LaContessaDiPlump · 14/05/2016 08:39

I grow all my own vegetables and raise my own livestock and slaughter by hand in the garden. I don't believe you've truly cooked from scratch unless you've done that.

I also grow all my own rice in a paddyfield at our allotment.

Original poster
DeadAsADildo · 14/05/2016 08:36

Is fast food the same thing as junk food? We always cook from scratch so I get confused when people use these terms Hmm

OP posts:
Patterkiller · 14/05/2016 08:33

Friend A offered me instant coffee
Friend B doesn't wash all her towels and bedding daily
Friend C didn't have a basket of all varieties of San pro in her guest bathroom

I have gone NC will them all.

AllTheDrama · 14/05/2016 08:28

I gave up work so DH and I could move within catchment of one of the last remaining grammar schools. Of course we bought a house in the best area then rented in catchment until Jacintha got a place. I've then worked from home for the last 3 years, on a volunteer basis, on getting the local council to close down the nearby Mcdonalds and Greggs. You now can't buy any form of fast food within 11 miles of here - I know, it said so in the death threat.

PsammeadPaintedTheLion · 14/05/2016 08:22

I allowed my 3 year old to go to a party of a less well off child as I thought it would do him some good to see how the less fortunate live. I practically died when he asked where the quinoa was. So embarrassed. But at least his etiquette lessons kicked in when asked if he'd like a sausage roll. 'That's terribly kind of you but I'm absolutely stuffed from the delicious cheese sandwiches!' Poor love, I had to toss him a quick salad when we got home. Can't have him fainting at rugger again.

MorrisZapp · 14/05/2016 08:10

My husband doesn't actually realise half the population is female. He only ever looks at me. He was a virgin when we met and practises yogic breathing when he gets cut up at a roundabout.

Oh yours isn't like this? I couldn't live like that.

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 14/05/2016 08:09

My 11 month old only listens to Classic FM and has recently started singing opera granted it's usually at 5 in the morning

Original poster
DeadAsADildo · 14/05/2016 08:02

I'm astonished you have a Greggs in your town.

OP posts:
LaContessaDiPlump · 14/05/2016 08:01

My children faint every time we pass a Greggs.

Original poster
DeadAsADildo · 14/05/2016 08:01

Badlad I think that could work, too Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
DeadAsADildo · 14/05/2016 07:59

Well I wouldn't let my dcs touch dairy.

OP posts:
Original poster
DeadAsADildo · 14/05/2016 07:58

I dumped my boyfriend when his mother asked me my name.

She has no boundaries

OP posts:
Wakinguptooearlybyfar · 14/05/2016 07:57

My two year old can recite the entire alphabet

My three year old not only writes her name, but can correct my spelling.

My six month old sleeps through the night.

My three year old eats Brie, sushi and artichokes. In fact, they recently asked for sashimi. With pickles.

My two year old will only listen to Radio 3 and 4. No telly.

All because I am an incredible mother. Of course.

Ohwoolballs · 14/05/2016 07:55

My birth plan was followed to the letter and I banned all family contact for the following two weeks.

And I haven't bought a travel system Grin

FairNotFair · 14/05/2016 07:51

I went NC with my PILs after my MIL asked permission to hold her 3-month-old grandchild for the first time.

Pushy, controlling mare.

NotnowNigel · 14/05/2016 07:48

I've been no contact with my entire narcissistic family since before I was born.

BigGreenOlives · 14/05/2016 07:41

My children have never been to Macdonalds, KFC or Greggs.

My children translate books from French into English so their friends can enjoy them.

My children illustrate the books they write themselves.

savasanaaa · 14/05/2016 07:32

I cancelled the cheque before the bride even sent me the cheeky email.

FairNotFair · 14/05/2016 07:30

I have called 101 so many times about nothing that I've been given an official caution.

KP86 · 14/05/2016 07:26

My child has never slept a wink in his life.

ThoraGruntwhistle · 14/05/2016 06:48

My child has been invited to six parties this weekend but can only go to three because she has her grade 16 harpsichord exam and advanced Flemish lesson to go.

00100001 · 14/05/2016 06:40

My child is graduating from lentil weaving class on Tuesday.

poocatcherchampion · 14/05/2016 06:32

My teenagers only drink breastmilk from source

00100001 · 14/05/2016 06:28

What's Coke?

bushtailadventures · 14/05/2016 06:18

My children don't even know what a screen is, they only read books we have approved beforehand!

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