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Original poster

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406 replies

DeadAsADildo · 13/05/2016 21:59

(Inspired by another thread-posts may be entirely fictional)

My 10y old has never had a fizzy drink in his entire life.

OP posts:
BadLad · 14/05/2016 10:02

Same here, even the boy who shot DS once, and is now doing time for it.

Not inviting him would be bullying and wed be as bad as him.

Buzzardbird · 14/05/2016 10:01

So as not to leave anyone out, we invite every child in the surrounding counties to our dc's birthday parties. We also provide different buffet tables for each individual social class. We donate all gifts to the shoe box appeal.

NewStickers · 14/05/2016 09:58

dead I'll pm you. Rest assured, I eat clean. I also keep lactating for the health benefits for me and others. Last week I saw a mother bottle feeding her baby in the park so I clutched it to my breast and gave it a dose of the good stuff. The mother tried to thank me but I couldn't understand her accent.

Original poster
DeadAsADildo · 14/05/2016 09:53

*Newstickers
*
It is 10 years since my last lactation but I'd love to try some.

But only if you eat a clean, organic, non GM, diet of course.

Do PM me.

OP posts:
AllTheDrama · 14/05/2016 09:51

I knew PIL's were going to be trouble when MIL wanted to have us round for dinner - they only have a 3-bed semi-detached and they shop at Sainsburys for goodness sake. So I made DH disown them and had a new birth certificate drawn up with new parents I'd selected for him. Apparently it's 'not legal' but I can't help it if I'm ahead of the law. We now refer to original PIL's as birth-FIL and birth-MIL. New PIL's are divine, they won't even speak to DH unless they've run the conversation past me first.

BadLad · 14/05/2016 09:51

I'll send you the wrinkle-care cream I use.

I'm 74, but still get asked for ID when buying booze. Tried to buy fags yesterday, but was told " What would Mum and Dad say?"

Kicking a ball with DS in the park, a United scout asked both of us to come for trials.

NewStickers · 14/05/2016 09:50

dead have you tried breastmilk?

Boogers · 14/05/2016 09:47

I jog the 5 mile school run with DD every day, come rain, wind or shine. DS cycles the 15 miles to and from school and despairs of his peers eating sausage sandwiches at morning break.

They have never heard of 'television'.

NewStickers · 14/05/2016 09:47

Last weekend my husband had a lie in til 8.30 while I was left to collect the eggs from our pastured ducks as well as prepare a continental breakfast from scratch.

I put the children on his sleeping face and went to a spa for the weekend.

OohMavis · 14/05/2016 09:43

My children don't know what screens are. In fact, we were in Waitrose the other day and they saw a CCTV monitor and were quite confused. I had to explain what it was as they were becoming quite distressed. I complained to the store manager.

Original poster
DeadAsADildo · 14/05/2016 09:43

Has anyone got any good skincare recommendations for over 40 skin? I looked at mine under an electron microscope the other day and there were a few faint wrinkles starting. I already wear factor 50 2mm thick and sunglasses all year round.

OP posts:
snorepatrol · 14/05/2016 09:39

My dc speak 3 languages and only eat organic veg that we have grown in our own garden

I went nc with pil after they sent our dc Easter eggs when they know my dc don't eat chocolate luckily my dc didn't know what it was. I didn't like that pil were deliberately trying to rot my dc's teeth and minds they are quite clearly toxic and don't respect boundaries

My husband and I got into an argument about the above chocolate issue he felt it was 'only a bit of chocolate' and wouldn't do any harm so I LTB as he wasn't on side.

BadLad · 14/05/2016 09:38

badlad you let your dc look at screens? Mine is only allowed 20 minutes of cbeebies radio or half an hour of radio 3 a day.

Grin

Well, when I said"using the internet", I meant "having his advanced Sanskrit lesson" but I didn't want to boast.

He gets a leapsecond of screen time, every four years.

NewStickers · 14/05/2016 09:37

GrinGrinGrin

jobrum · 14/05/2016 09:36

newstickers I just laughed and woke up dd!

Original poster
DeadAsADildo · 14/05/2016 09:35

*New stickers
*
That sounds fun. PM me if you're anywhere near Bucks and you'd like to use our little outdoor Victorian mock Grecian outdoor theatre. It's so lovely to meet like minded people on here.

OP posts:
jobrum · 14/05/2016 09:34

badlad you let your dc look at screens? Mine is only allowed 20 minutes of cbeebies radio or half an hour of radio 3 a day.

NewStickers · 14/05/2016 09:33

jobrum we did blw so my children taught themselves to eat by making Hummus

NewStickers · 14/05/2016 09:31

I learnt mandarin while I was in maternity leave so that I could give my DC a head start in life. We only speak mandarin at home except for two weeks a year when, instead of going on holiday (carbon footprint) we dress up as a different nationality and live like them. Last summer we were Tuscan merchants from the Renaissance. This year I am going to polish up my Ancient Greek and we will be holding Socratic debates all through August.

BadLad · 14/05/2016 09:30

DS was on the internet and a porn site pop up opened. He was so disgusted he threw the computer out of the window.

NewStickers · 14/05/2016 09:28

I dress my children in exclusively gender neutral clothes and so far I have not made dd (5) aware of the concept of 'pink'

Original poster
DeadAsADildo · 14/05/2016 09:28

Our front garden is quite pleasant to sit out in. I like to watch the children play on the croquet lawn, and I can keep an eye on the grouse moor in case we get trespassers. At the back it's a bit too formal, iykwim, with all those old statues staring back at me.

OP posts:
jobrum · 14/05/2016 09:25

My toddler appreciates a good hummus.

AllTheDrama · 14/05/2016 09:25

That sounds lovely Dead, we don't have poor friends though - I had to cut them all out in case they were ever offended at being asked to split a bill or needed to borrow money, imagine being asked that, and then having to say no!

BadLad · 14/05/2016 09:23

Last month we flew first class to Benidorm, and overheard a lady complaining that she couldn't sit next to her two-year-old and didn't have the fifteen quid to book seats.

DS and DD (11 and 8) immediately let the woman and child have their first class seats, and volunteered to travel in the hold.

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