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As I was leaving Waitrose this morning, I noticed a woman shouting at her toddler after he'd picked up a half chewed sweet off the floor.

Instead of judging her for her Matalan leggings and tunic top combo, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and decided to help.

I went over and offered her a shoulder to cry on and gave little Jayden a packet of organic, quinoa infused, gluten and dairy free, 98% cocoa content, chocolate buttons.

She looked so thankful that I'd taken a moment to help her, while we chatted I discovered she lived in...social housing. Even though I was concerned for my personal safety, I pretended to listen some more as she told me she was having a terrible day and was down to her last five pounds.

I gave her some very good advice about roast chicken, hedgerow fruits and organic lentils.

I think it's fallen on deaf ears, she looked a little confused as I backed slowly away, smiling politely and ushering Thaddeus back into his rear facing car seat (he's 19, but One must not compromise car safety).

I feel completely balanced. My good deed for the day achieved, time for a glass of homemade lemonade and a celery stock.

My NDN has just bought a 100" TV, as if his goat eating my begonias weren't bad enough.
Obviously I now have to move house because that is the easiest solution.

WWYD
The dc have mentioned that their hand woven alpaca underwear is becoming uncomfortable in the warmer weather. I tried to spin the yarn as fine as possible but to no avail. It apears to be impossible to grow cotton in this country and I've been unable to find a reliable supplier of silk worms.
WIBU to put them in underwear I have purchased? Obviously organic and ethically sourced.
I would be upset of course as I like to make all their clothes from scratch.

The refugees we let live in our garden bought us Grand Theft Auto as a thank you gift, but DS (2) declined, saying he won't have it in the house. They swapped it for Minecraft, but he declined that too, saying he doesn't agree with screen time.

My 5yo does not want to go to McDonalds, not so much because there is no Paleo option on the menu, but more because the Happy Meal toys are not wooden

This made me howl. This post sums it all up for me.

these are brilliant!

Oh good! That will give Germaine (the dog) a chance to practice her writing!

Out with the thank you notelets!

We decided against iambic pentameter for now, as it's so redolent of the traditional white male English canon.

We're raising citizens of the world, you know

Oh poor thing - I feel awful now 😮😮

I'm sending you some organic hand woven dog treats by way of an abject apology...

I don't think that's much to laugh at, Livia.

She gets very distressed when we take her to our gite for summer, and sometimes she's so traumatised she only wants three hours of walking a day instead of the recommended four plus swim.

Not iambic pentameter? ^^

Thank you for your concern, Livia.

The children are working on thank you cards to send to you as I type.

I hope you like haiku.

Also I'm howling at My dog is not only a rescue dog, it is a refugee. 😂😂😂😂

Yvaine Oh that's a relief - I have been sobbing (into my recycling water butt obviously) worrying about your poor children...

The electric gates are solar powered, I hasten to add.

And recycled.

Livia yes, I thought it vital that my children stay grounded, and not live in a bubble.

When they are 21 I will offer them a key to the electric gates.

My dd is a top adviser to Stephen Hawkins. Stephe, (as we like to call him) often asks dd for advice

Yvaine I'm really laughing at the last sentence in your post, so succinctly wrîtten. However all of your post is very eloquent

Yvaine You have a council estate locally ? 😮😮😮

I'm just back from doing a Marathon. I did it in 2 hours flat. In full make up.

The woman across the road has just got her milk in. In her pjs. I think it's disgusting she can't make more of an effort. Her triplets are six weeks old now, she could at least be doing a 5k.

I spend £1.50 each on my children at Christmas, and they weep with gratitude.

Last year, after they finished opening their presents, little Ptolemy looked quite bereft. I invited him to share his feelings, once he had finished processing them of course, and eventually he came to me and said, "What about the poor children at Winterval? What do they get?"

So we loaded his gifts into the Prius and I drove him to the local council estate, where he distributed his gifts among those less fortunate who only had mountains of plastic tat to play with.

It was heart-rending to see the children's wonder-filled faces as they inspected the organic artisanal trinkets Ptolemy offered them.

Sweet of them to offer them back at such velocity, too.

I only spend £1.29 on groceries a week for a family of 7, all organic Obvs
My children have done chores around the house since they were about 15 months old
The 4 year old is cleaning out the gutters now