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My dh was knocked down whilst cycling to work recently. Despite the fact that the lower half of his leg was missing, he didn't ring an ambulance, those are only for real emergencies. He popped the leg in his bag and hopped to minor injuries, which only took him six hours. I only found out about it when I arrived home from work that evening and checked the voicemail because I'm a professional person and I don't take personal phone calls in work.

I was going to come on mn this evening but I was too busy batch cooking for Christmas. Luckily I managed to pick up something lovely for mil on our recent city beak, so that's the last of the Christmas shopping done and dusted!

My sons refuse to wear any colour other than pink and they only play with dolls.

They recently walked into the local toy store and were so horrified by the separation of toys into boys and girls aisles, that they immediately demanded that the manager rearrange the store.

They then wrote to the Prime Minister to express their disgust at this sort of gender stereotyping, and he was so impressed with them that he has asked them to lead a government review into the subject.

He also offered them both seats in the House of Lords, but DS1 is worried about how he will fit it around school when he starts in September.

WWYD DD has passed her 11+ with flying colours and has the choice of all grammar schools in the county. I can't help feeling divided as I know grammars contribute to an unfair society. Also I worry that the pressure will mean her Grade 7 cello practice is disrupted. WWYD?

So I don't get accused of drip-feeding, DD is 3, nearly 4.

I've just spent an hour driving around Waitrose car park. DH had taken the children out to do voluntary work so I thought I'd go and talk on my phone all around Waitrose without the children constantly asking for Pellegrino, but do you think I could find a parent and child place free? There was no way I was parking my 4x4 in a 'normal' space. Parents must understand, those spaces are a courtesy, not a right! There were loads of spaces at Asda next door, but you just don't, do you?

gosh Yvaine now I'm so at my miserably low score in the landlord philanthropist stakes

I'll just have to buy a plot of land, find my ladders and cement mixer and get to work with my trowel and hod, build a house for my tenants cousins to live in for free

I actually pay my tenants to live in the flat.

I also buy all their clothes and send round an Ocado delivery every week.

It's the least one can do.

I only charge my tenants a peppercorn rent, I also clean the flat for them and cook them a roast dinner every sunday

Oh, you have staff?

How bourgeois.

Still, if you can live with the guilt...

Oh I don't touch it, silly!

My aupair/personal chef/housekeeper/PA does that.

Hoo-ha. My apologies.

Toilet brushes? What are those? In fact, what is a toilet? Is it like a lavatory?

I only get around to cleaning the bathroom once I've changed the bed. It's jolly hard work actually, because of course, this must be done every day. Except for in the summer, that is, when I set an alarm to go off at 3am so I can get up in the night and put on fresh bedding. One simply cannot sleep in filth.

Of course, I never use fabric conditioner, so at 3:10 am on summer mornings you will find me in the garden picking fresh lavender out of the herb garden, which I then squeeze the essential oils out of so I can add it to the laundry for that Provencal aroma.

Now, for the sake of the environment I do not have a tumble dryer, but standards won't allow me to have washing hanging up outside at night being darked on, so I set another alarm for sunrise so that I can get my washing on the line as soon as it's light.

I haven't had sex for five years with all this nocturnal hop-ha, but that's fine because it makes the sheets easier to wash and DH never complains.

Oh Brian, I am afraid I simply would never touch anything as vulgar as the carcass. We are of course, air vegans where we only eat items that have self planted seed via wind. One can truly tell the difference between that and farm grown vegetables.

Oh sorry, Marmalade, I assumed it would be obvious that I do use my celery for stock. Along with the carcass of the turkey for Christmas 2014 that we finished last week.

Dead, a shiver just ran down my spine. They probably have toilet brushes too.

Not only do I allow my seven year old son to wear a dress to school, I actually don't allow trousers or dresses in the house.

I simply have a range of organic, home-woven fabrics in an array of naturally-dyed colours that the children are free to wind around themselves in any way that they feel expresses their innermost feelings at any given time.

In the summertime, I allow my children to run around naked in the park. Well, when I say run, I actually mean take part in interpretative dance on the theme of 'summer'.

Well, a male child that is.

My children have never met a child whose first name begins with the letter K.

Dead.. It obviously needs to be the first choice, the latter is so tactless putting the actual price for all to see. Wealth whispers don't you know.

Our invitation to the Palace arrived this morning. I am slightly disappointed that it's one of the lesser Royals in attendance although DP will be meeting him. Never mind, I shall still enjoy my champagne actually a true story

I am sorry BrianCox but am I to understand that you don't use your leftover celery for stock?
We quite often have a good celery stock for tea with our quinoa. It gets soaked up in my daughter Apples organic homemade rice cake beautifully.

My dog has never so much as sniffed at a person and if he did I would go NC with him.

I only ever drink alcohol at xmas and even then I literally have one sip of champagne for a toast, then I will pour it down the sink.