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406 replies

DeadAsADildo · 13/05/2016 21:59

(Inspired by another thread-posts may be entirely fictional)

My 10y old has never had a fizzy drink in his entire life.

OP posts:
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RedOnHerHedd · 21/05/2016 21:13

Also... My cleaning lady wants to use MY electricity to use the vacuum cleaner around my home would IBU to make her fetch her own generator? I already pay her enough.

RedOnHerHedd · 21/05/2016 21:12

I'm calling my next baby Younique because it's an amazing name.

She's already a famous author, mathematician and the top in her field of quantum physics AND the sperm that makes her (she's not been conceived yet) is going to be the winner out of 100 MILLION! When was the last time any of you won a race against 100 million others?

PLUS... She's going to be amazing at playing the recorder when she goes to school because I'll play it to her when she's in the womb. I can play the best rendition of baa baa black sheep you've ever heard!

6o6o842 · 21/05/2016 13:36

The babysitter arrived the other night wearing flares AND knee high boots. The horrors. AIBU to let her go, or should I wait to see if her attire is equally as eccentric next time she come to care for the snowflakes?

00100001 · 21/05/2016 07:53

squoosh Grin

squoosh · 20/05/2016 12:32

You have tea and biscuits whilst breastfeeding 00100001? Seriously? You think it's acceptable to stuff your face with caffeine and refined sugars when breastfeeding a baby? Why don't you just go the whole hog and sniff lines of coke from his little bald head!

FFS.

Ginslinger · 20/05/2016 08:41

DS is 36 and I never saw any reason to stop the night feeds regardless of what my rather prissy DIL thinks of it. I explained that she'd feel exactly the same when she has children but she seems to think she'd prefer a Tibetan terrier.

PunkrockerGirl · 19/05/2016 22:25

Actually, I may have to LTB.
Surely he realises that early 20's is far too young to wean. He's been dropping hints recently that the co-sleeping should stop too. Frankly, I'm worried. Surely he's not expecting to have sex yet again, I mean the last time was 1995 when ds2 was conceived. I will not subject my babies to such debauchery.

00100001 · 19/05/2016 22:09

You mean your DH isn't bringing you tea a biscuits whilst you feed? What does he actually contribute to your relationship?

PunkrockerGirl · 19/05/2016 21:28

Ds1 (24) and ds2 (20) will both be leaving home later this year. I realise that I am soon going to have to begin the weaning process. I'm quite happy to travel the 200 miles between them each day to continue bf, but dh thinks it's time they were weaned. I suspect dh and I may come to blows over this.

CheerfulYank · 19/05/2016 21:16

You sound like hard work OP.

00100001 · 19/05/2016 18:27

squoosh I do wonder why you think children are possessions. Who calls another human being "theirs"?

squoosh · 19/05/2016 17:58

Oh you're one of those people who calls it parenting are you treacle? People like you who have to categorise everything make me so sad for today's children. Raise them with love, light and laughter and maybe it will seem like less of a chore to you.

I must ask, do you even like your kids?

treaclesoda · 19/05/2016 17:53

squoosh you have a mirror? How very shallow of you. I'm far too busy parenting to look in the mirror. But that's just me. If you want to raise your children to be interested in outward appearances Of course that's entirely up to you.

TheSpyNextDoor · 19/05/2016 17:51

00100001: Oh, your children have shoes... smug cow.

Gosh, I don't believe I am but I do have a lovely smug cow in the garden.

Sandsnake · 19/05/2016 17:50

Have you tried co-sleeping, OP?

TheSpyNextDoor · 19/05/2016 17:23

DeadAsADildo I see you are interested in my property -
Upper Phillimore Gardens, London, W8
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-53787955.html
It's a little cramped for my liking but would be perfect for a first-time buyer. If you require any more information, do let my in-house estate agent know.

TheSpyNextDoor · 19/05/2016 17:15

*'of course' of course

00100001 · 19/05/2016 16:54

Spy Oh, your children have shoes... smug cow.

TheSpyNextDoor · 19/05/2016 16:48

00100001: I see you have no issue of them being aware of their age though... Your children will grow up as entitled and grabby human beings.

I'm sorry, I should have made it clear that is there shoe size, not their age. Although neither of them know this as course.

TheSpyNextDoor · 19/05/2016 16:19

sn0wdr0p4: WWYD The dc have mentioned that their hand woven alpaca underwear is becoming uncomfortable in the warmer weather. I tried to spin the yarn as fine as possible but to no avail. It apears to be impossible to grow cotton in this country and I've been unable to find a reliable supplier of silk worms.
WIBU to put them in underwear I have purchased? Obviously organic and ethically sourced.
I would be upset of course as I like to make all their clothes from scratch

Oh thank goodness - for a moment I read that last line as 'I like to make all their clothes scratch'. I breed my own silk worms in the bath and have woven my DC the softest of coverings. People say you can't keep your children in a cocoon but yes, you can.
I also weave silk sheaths for my husband.

QuimReaper · 19/05/2016 16:14

My SIL's just told me she hangs her washing out whilst her DD (9.5) is asleep in the next room.

Her bub, her rules, but just not worth the risk in my opinion. What would happen if she were caught in a quantum wave and atomically transported to a parallel dimension? How long would it be until someone found the child?

There but by the grace of God, and all that.

WIBU to remind her of Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle?

00100001 · 19/05/2016 15:47

squoosh I'm so introverted my email address doesn't even contain any part of my real name, in fact I have forgotten my real name. I really would have to go and check my birth certificate. And even then I couldn't be sure it was mine. Are you sure you're a true introvert?

00100001 · 19/05/2016 15:46

spynextdoor I see you have no issue of them being aware of their age though... Your children will grow up as entitled and grabby human beings.

I hope you're proud.

squoosh · 19/05/2016 15:00

I'm so introverted that I dread seeing my own reflection in the mirror when I brush my teeth.

TheSpyNextDoor · 19/05/2016 14:57

NewStickers: "I dress my children in exclusively gender neutral clothes and so far I have not made dd (5) aware of the concept of 'pink'".

So far I have not made either D (5) or D (10) aware of the concept of gender as I do not think they should feel constrained by gender-norms. I also decided to keep their gender from my husband and the D's grandparents. I feel this makes for much more well-rounded individuals.

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