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Original poster

Post - wedding message ... please help me, what the hell do I say??

1019 replies

Puzzledandpissedoff · 06/05/2016 12:28

I recently attended an ex-colleague's wedding where, in response to a request for cash gifts, I sent what I thought was a pretty decent cheque (£100 if it matters, though I can't help feeling it shouldn't)

Last night I received an email which opened with a few comments about how glad they were to see everybody and how generous they'd all been, then said "we were surprised that your contribution didn't seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received"

For someone who's not easily shocked I confess I'm utterly gobsmacked by this. So as not to drip feed I'll mention that "your own position" probably refers to a recent inheritance I've had, which maybe they expected something from (and this is an ex-colleague, remember, not a close friend or relative)

Please, anyone, what do I do now? I've never come across anything like this before and still can't quite believe they've done it - but since they have, should I reply, ring them, ignore it or what??

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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paxillin · 07/05/2016 23:25

I wouldn't even call the friend indiscreet. She was merely doing her duty, well done friend who made sure the world knows.

The fact that greedy bride emailed instead of calling works well for you, too. If she starts spinning a story you can show people exactly what she wrote.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 07/05/2016 23:25

I'm dead when the bride finds out aren't I.
Who is she exactly. Al Capone

JohnCheese · 07/05/2016 23:22

GOOD work, indiscreet friend!! Most efficient!

rednsparkley · 07/05/2016 23:21

When the bride finds out that loads of randoms acquaintances know abut her massive brass neck, she should feel deep deep shame but I suspect somehow she will not.

PortiaCastis · 07/05/2016 23:21

I am wined so just one point my muzzy head doesn't get. Who put the OP kn instagrab

Original poster
Puzzledandpissedoff · 07/05/2016 23:21

am pissed so I dont care am going to bed, if shes mad she can be mad and i dont have to see her again ever

OP posts:
StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine · 07/05/2016 23:21

If I were the bride, I'd feel thoroughly ashamed that my brass balls had been rumbled. If she takes umbrage then the only sensible response to that is "really?Hmm"

Doinmummy · 07/05/2016 23:20

If the bride does indeed kill you , at least you'll have enough money in your account to pay for your own funeral -thank god you ONLY gave her £100

Lweji · 07/05/2016 23:16

I'm dead when bride finds out arent I?

Do you actually care? :)

GinnyMcGinFace · 07/05/2016 23:13

Oh OP I do so wish you could attach sound memos to MN!!

BeYourselfUnlessUCanBeAUnicorn · 07/05/2016 23:11

Listen to the messages and update us! What kind of OP are you, Wink. Maybe they are recommending you cancel the cheque. Grin

Floggingmolly · 07/05/2016 23:10

The coin throwing is traditional in Ireland as well. Called a Grushie.

CancelledCheque · 07/05/2016 23:09

Do you mean your gossipy friend has been blabbing as we all hoped, and now it will get back to Grabby McGrabberson?

Oh no!
Excellent

ExitPursuedByABear · 07/05/2016 23:08

🔫🔫🔫

ScarletOHaHa · 07/05/2016 23:08

Big "oh well" to Grabby bride.

You've told the truth.

LunaLoveg00d · 07/05/2016 23:08

When my parents got married (1964) it was customary for the groom to throw small coins at the waiting children outside church - small village in Germany, the whole town would turn out to gawp give the new couple their best wishes. This used to happen where my dad grew up (small village in Scotland) & he recounts tales of the children finding coins for days afterwards in the long grass around churchyard walls. What a quaint tradition.

This used to happen in Scotland where I grew up too, but it was when the bride left home with her dad to go to the church, the Dad would throw money out for the waiting kids. Just coppers and the occasional 5p. I remember when my next door neighbour married, my sister and I gathered enough at the scramble for an ice lolly at the shops.

Still waiting with baited breath to see how the bride in this case justifies her outrageous cheek to the OP.

RiverTam · 07/05/2016 23:06

at Puzzled's update. Your friend has done fine work.

ImperialBlether · 07/05/2016 23:05

All you have done is tell the truth.

The bride will have been talking, if she's sent a message like that to you. She's obviously whipped up into a frenzy. Why should you not talk about it?

This is an ex-colleague, isn't it? Do your other colleagues know? I know mine would! (I'd tell them!)

LaContessaDiPlump · 07/05/2016 23:04

I'm just amazed people still use cheques!

Is it possible to cancel them? I forget.

Grin
Floggingmolly · 07/05/2016 23:02

But you're already dead to her, Puzzled. Because you were the one who only gave her £100 for a wedding present, you tight cow.

CancelledCheque · 07/05/2016 23:02

You rang?

WriteforFun1 · 07/05/2016 23:01

Puzzled, sorry the thread went a bit mad.
Dead when the bride finds out what?

Original poster
Puzzledandpissedoff · 07/05/2016 22:58

Just got back, the friend I told about it at lunch called and we went out for a lot to drink now instead of being pissed like in angry Im really pissed instead
oh dear

i t

it was noisy in the pub. I didn't hear my phone and theres lots of messages on it I think from people shes' been telling all afternoon, I'm dead when bride finds out arent I?

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 07/05/2016 22:56

Not place marking or anything. Just stopping by to tell OP to cancel the cheque.

Babettescat · 07/05/2016 22:55

I think the cheque should be cancelled. Why has nobody pointed that out even once ?Hmm

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