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Original poster

Post - wedding message ... please help me, what the hell do I say??

1019 replies

Puzzledandpissedoff · 06/05/2016 12:28

I recently attended an ex-colleague's wedding where, in response to a request for cash gifts, I sent what I thought was a pretty decent cheque (£100 if it matters, though I can't help feeling it shouldn't)

Last night I received an email which opened with a few comments about how glad they were to see everybody and how generous they'd all been, then said "we were surprised that your contribution didn't seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received"

For someone who's not easily shocked I confess I'm utterly gobsmacked by this. So as not to drip feed I'll mention that "your own position" probably refers to a recent inheritance I've had, which maybe they expected something from (and this is an ex-colleague, remember, not a close friend or relative)

Please, anyone, what do I do now? I've never come across anything like this before and still can't quite believe they've done it - but since they have, should I reply, ring them, ignore it or what??

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
DancingDinosaur · 06/05/2016 13:25

Cancel the cheque, send them an email saying you will be adjusting in light of their email, and post them a cheque for 10p. Bloody cheek. Don't let the grabby grabbers get away with that.

liinyo · 06/05/2016 13:25

So very rude, especially calling it a contribution - it was a gift!

My response (in the perfect world where I am not a conflict avoiding wimp) would be to email them correcting the above and then point out that the only socially acceptable response receiving a gift is 'Thank You'.

Theimpossiblegirl · 06/05/2016 13:24

Slimcheesy I had similar, a family friend kept messaging me asking for 'donations' so that her daughter (just a few years younger than me) could go and do some kind of interfering tourism good work during her gap year. I explained nicely that I was skint (just gone part time) and she unfriended me!

It wasn't even building a school or something useful, it was obviously a total jolly!

Floggingmolly · 06/05/2016 13:24

Who do you think is behind it then, plimsolls? It can hardly be happening without the bride's knowledge.

annielouise · 06/05/2016 13:22

I'd politely say yes you're right. Please send the cheque back so I can send another one to you :) Make sure you get your money back then drop her. So cheeky!

DiggersRest · 06/05/2016 13:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

frieda909 · 06/05/2016 13:22

As far fetched as it sounds, sadly I can definitely see circumstances in which it could be true (not saying it is or isn't). Some people really are like this! In my experience the wealthier they are to begin with, the more likely it is that people will behave like this. And weddings can sometimes turn even the most normal human beings into crazy people!

I can picture them sitting there counting up their wedding money. They've got a target in mind - maybe for the honeymoon or a deposit for their marital home - and then they realise they're short. They start wondering who's short-changed them. They go through all the cheques and remember hearing that one of her old colleagues is now filthy rich from some inheritance or something, and look - she only gave £100! Surely they can persuade her to give a little more? They spend hours crafting the perfect polite, measured email to enquire as to whether she might like to up her contribution. It's not cheeky, is it? After all, they invited her along to their special day! She should be grateful that she was included at all! And voila.

I wouldn't be able to keep quiet about something like this. I'd send a furious email back telling them exactly how rude i thought they were. If I didn't get a grovelling reply admitting that wedding-fever had caused them to temporarily take leave of their senses, then I don't think I'd ever speak to them again.

Goingtobeawesome · 06/05/2016 13:21

Blimey

MumGoneCrazy · 06/05/2016 13:21

ShockShockShock Cheeky feckers

Nicnak2223 · 06/05/2016 13:21

I would love to see what the couple would say to any of my friends. We have been a 20quid in a card group for as long as I remember..

mmgirish · 06/05/2016 13:20

No way! Please please cancel the cheque!

acasualobserver · 06/05/2016 13:20

Agree with pp, publish their email. Allow the internet to destroy them.

LookNiceYah · 06/05/2016 13:20

.

MNHQ
RebeccaMumsnet · 06/05/2016 13:19

Hi all,

The OP has been around for a while and we have no reason to believe that she is trolling.

Can we ask you all to refrain from troll hunting please, we will remove the posts that break our Talk guidelines.

plimsolls · 06/05/2016 13:19

Why are posters assuming it is the bride behind this?

makingmiracles · 06/05/2016 13:18

WowShock

AnotherCiderPlease · 06/05/2016 13:18

What?!?!

sparechange · 06/05/2016 13:17

Surely there is a cultural element to this?

There was a Daily Fail story/viral email a couple of years ago when a wedding guest was berated by the B&G for not giving a cash gift of greater value than their meal cost. They were American, and there were plenty of Americans saying the couple were perfectly within their rights to call out the guests on their bad manners as it is the done thing to cover the cost of your food and drink with your gift.
Don't know how widespread that is though

BoboBunnyH0p · 06/05/2016 13:17

WTF, this is a wind up, surely no one can be so brassed necked? In case the couple have sank to an all new wedding low please cancel the cheque and never speak to them again.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 06/05/2016 13:15

Show us
Show us
Show us!

NannawifeofBaldr · 06/05/2016 13:14

Most entertaining thread for weeks. I don't care it it's real.

If it is - please don't do as someone suggested earlier and send them an unsigned cheque for £1000 - it could go through and be processed.

Quietly cancelling the original cheque is the dignified way to go.

99percentchocolate · 06/05/2016 13:14

not place marking at all

UnGoogleable · 06/05/2016 13:13

Fabulous. I so want this to be true.

Cancel the cheque and tell them to fuck off, obviously. Then post their email on Facebook.

beckywiththemehhair · 06/05/2016 13:13

Reply with "sorry, yes you are absolutely correct it was a mistake. In my current position of severe constipation I had actually meant to push out a turd for you as a sign of my efforts. Please could you return the cheque and I will swap accordingly."

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 06/05/2016 13:13

I don't believe you. Could you show us the email please?

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