Post - wedding message ... please help me, what the hell do I say??

really?

I am gripped and need to know what happens next! I am genuinely aghast that someone would be that rude and greedy.

I went to a friend's DH's big birthday party. On the way in there was a box with a slit cut in it for "cash gifts". She told us she would be doing this. I had to pay (a lot) for someone to look after my DCs, travel halfway across the country, book a hotel and taxis etc. I didn't put any cash in the box, I just didn't feel right about it so it was just a card and a bottle of champagne.

She rang me up after the do saying she was confused as to who had given what cash and wanted to thank me so could I let her know what cash I put in. I found it excrutiating but was honest and said "None". I had to be honest. I just wish people wouldn't do this, she is wealthy and I find this sort of thing pretty awful.

Does anyone else remember that wishing well poem thread from a couple of years ago?

I'm going to go with the OP short-changing the B&G. They are very obviously in desperate need of a book on manners and not a cheque at all! unbelievable behaviour

OP this thread is epic!

I can believe it. A friend of mine, let's say Friend A, went to a mutual friend's wedding (Friend B) a few months ago. They aren't very close and hadn't seen each other for a while, Friend A was invited to the evening do, invite said "it's your presence not your presents we require". Friend A went for 2hrs and gave a card wishing love a good wishes to the couple.

Two weeks later, Friend A receives an email from Friend B saying "we've been through our pile of gifts and we can't find one from you so can you let us know what you gave us so we can check it has been correctly delivered ". Friend B knew this was bollocks but was just trying to make Friend A feel awkward. It worked.

Fortunately Friend A was simply honest " I sent you a card and my best wishes, but there was no gift so no worries about it being lost! "

Good luck OP. I'm agog for the update!

Send them an invoice for the outfit you bought, accommodation, drinks etc & tell them that is your adjustment.

F*ck me sideways. I've heard it all now! Wow. Cancel cheque and friendship.

speechless!

stop the cheque and reply telling them that you have now taken action reflecting the warmth of your good wishes. If they've already cashed the cheque, send a bill!

I'm from Ireland and the usual among my friends is €150 per couple, €200 for family.

I thought I'd got to the age when nothing would shock me anymore.............

I can't imagine a situation in which I would think it reasonable to ask for a gift of money back, but if there ever was one, this is it.

Of course you won't get it back, but I would be sorely tempted to simply make the point.

Her rudeness is breathtaking.

Just a thought but you do all realise that at the bottom of the page is a link to social media sites...if we were wicked people, which obviously we are not, there could be quite a few links made.

I'm speechless reading this (well almost... ) I really can't believe the brassneck of some people, I really can't. But actually that's a lie, I can totally imagine there are people who live in an alternate universe because I hear about them so much on here! It would be cheeky from a family member but an ex colleague!? Hope they reply..
And actually £100 is a lot already. I gave £40 to a close friend!

NeverbuytheDailyMail don't worry about it, most people are normal and thankful for any gift it's not mandatory, sorry if my post made you think that. Just some of the ones I've been to had that. To balance it out I was at one here where a guest brought an uninvited plus one and wrote 'IOU 1 wedding present' on the hotel stationary. B+G still mates with them last I heard!

Gutted that they've already gone on honeymoon.

Neverbuythedailymail I can assure you most Irish people would have been delighted with your vouchers.

There is a lot of stereotyping going on here. Most Irish people invite people because they would enjoy their company not because they would be good for a wad of dosh.

Bloody hell. £100 is a huge amount! I could never afford to give that as a gift. Obviously why I've been invited to so few weddings

Origami's predicted response is spot on. Are you the bride Origami??!?

.

OMG OP, I can't believe you only gave £100. I'm totally for you. How can you live with yourself? If I were you I'd immediately send another cheque for £900, apologise to the B&G and thank them for their honest friendship. I think you should send a separate cheque for another couple of hundred quid to make up for putting them in the difficult position of having to craft that lovely, polite email.

How rude
Can't fathom how they thought an email like that would result in a larger gift!
Very grabby indeed.

I'd be like 'Oh I'm so sorry. Where are my manners? I'll be sure to get another cheque to you so that you have it once you get back from honeymoon!'

Then, after a couple weeks of anticipation on her honeymoon, just dreaming of the riches she's about to come into, she'll come home to a cheque for £0.01.

I kinda hope this story DOES make the Daily Mail so they can see the responses.