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Post - wedding message ... please help me, what the hell do I say??

1019 replies

Puzzledandpissedoff · 06/05/2016 12:28

I recently attended an ex-colleague's wedding where, in response to a request for cash gifts, I sent what I thought was a pretty decent cheque (£100 if it matters, though I can't help feeling it shouldn't)

Last night I received an email which opened with a few comments about how glad they were to see everybody and how generous they'd all been, then said "we were surprised that your contribution didn't seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received"

For someone who's not easily shocked I confess I'm utterly gobsmacked by this. So as not to drip feed I'll mention that "your own position" probably refers to a recent inheritance I've had, which maybe they expected something from (and this is an ex-colleague, remember, not a close friend or relative)

Please, anyone, what do I do now? I've never come across anything like this before and still can't quite believe they've done it - but since they have, should I reply, ring them, ignore it or what??

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Roussette · 06/05/2016 19:29

I think it's absolutely horrible. I would be a mixture of catastrophic angry and hurt.

Don't be paranoid OP, she will be like this with others I am sure

RaspberryOverload · 06/05/2016 19:29

OP, thinking about things, it's possible the other people have received an email, but are themselves worried they are the only ones who've received this request so haven't said anything in case you hadn't received one. If you get where I'm heading.

WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup · 06/05/2016 19:28

Tate that's brilliant! Grin

Hesalovernotabiter · 06/05/2016 19:28

Sorry if this has already been mentioned but the email was definitely for you wasn't it?!

RaspberryOverload · 06/05/2016 19:27

This bride is more than ghastly. She's vulgar.... Grin

hilbil21 · 06/05/2016 19:26

I would have been tempted to ask her how much she was expecting!! I'm getting married in November and cannot imagine ever sending something like this afterwards!!!

Tate15 · 06/05/2016 19:25

I'm from an era where giving money or asking for money was deemed vulgar.

Op, you should have stuck to some nice bone China! Wink

Post - wedding message ... please help me, what the hell do I say??
Goingtobeawesome · 06/05/2016 19:23

Hmm BeYourself..

ilovemakeup86 · 06/05/2016 19:22

That's beyond cheeky!! Urghhh

Goingtobeawesome · 06/05/2016 19:22

Beat ourself - pointless though as people are not reading the whole thread before They post.

Tate15 · 06/05/2016 19:20

we were surprised that your contribution didn't seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day

Did you sleep with the groom?

What does it even mean? The more friendlier you are in greeting them the more you should pay?

Is there a scale? A handshake and a peck on the cheek equates to how much?

If you doing your arms around the bride do you pay more?

It's ridiculous!

As for In view of your own position, that is completely bad form and stupendously crass! The only position you would be in after reading that utter guff is frozen still with your mouth slack jawed and wide open!

I cannot believe anyone would be such an ignoramus!

The word ghastly sums her up perfectly!

ample · 06/05/2016 19:18

Apologies, xpost re: the cashed cheque.
Pity

gingergenie · 06/05/2016 19:18

Send her two nice crisp £500 notes from your monopoly set!!!!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 06/05/2016 19:18

You did request a read receipt didn't you?!

Yes I did, and yes she's read it ... no reply though

I've also spoken to a couple of people I considered the most likely recipients of the same email (I made the excuse of wanting to know if she'll be at tomorrow's event, though I know she won't). One said they've not heard from her since the wedding and the other mentioned they saw her only this week, but didn't say anything else and seemed fine

I'm now getting paranoid that it really is just me who received it Hmm

OP posts:
ample · 06/05/2016 19:17

What do you do?
Ignore.
Then,
a) cancel the cheque (I honestly think I would in your shoes).
You can put it down to the lack of warmth you felt in their reply.
b) send them some monopoly money notes or a toy cheque

Fucking hell, what a nerve of some people. They need a wake up call.
Please, please Puzzle do not send any more money. If you do then you will prove you're the soft touch they believe you to be.

BeYourselfUnlessUCanBeAUnicorn · 06/05/2016 19:15

Just in case

THE OP HAS ALREADY SAID TWICE THAT THE CHEQUE HAS BEEN CASHED!

I'm blatantly place marking and the advice to cancel the cheque is getting on my tits.

WineOrSleep · 06/05/2016 19:00

In other news- teafortoads I thought I was the only person who ever said fuck me sideways!! Grin

.... Back to the thread now...

bialystockandbloom · 06/05/2016 19:00

Wtaf?

I'd 'draw' a 'cheque' on a piece of scrap paper and send it to her. The more childlike and scribbley the better. Make it for £10,000.

WriteforFun1 · 06/05/2016 18:58

Ouch, how much for singles? Mad.

tiggytape · 06/05/2016 18:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2016namechangecomingalong · 06/05/2016 18:54

Wow, it'll be interesting to see if she replies. You did request a read receipt didn't you?!

velocitygir1 · 06/05/2016 18:53

Wtaf!!??? How downright rude!!! Bloody hell £100 gift and they are moaning??? Ungrateful fuckers!!! I'd tell them to piss off!!!

When I got married 18 months ago a couple of friends said they would transfer money over if I gave them our bank details...for their gift. I never did because I'm not a money grabbing fucker like these pair!!! It's not about the money, it should never be...

I am so angry for you op...

DailyMailAreAFuckingJoke · 06/05/2016 18:50

BTW OP has already said that the cheque has been cashed, so cancelling it is - sadly - not an option. Given the greed of the bride, I imagine that she left scorch marks on the road in her haste to get to the bank and deposit her 'inadequate' gifts.

Queenbean · 06/05/2016 18:49

Marking place!

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