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Post - wedding message ... please help me, what the hell do I say??

1019 replies

Puzzledandpissedoff · 06/05/2016 12:28

I recently attended an ex-colleague's wedding where, in response to a request for cash gifts, I sent what I thought was a pretty decent cheque (£100 if it matters, though I can't help feeling it shouldn't)

Last night I received an email which opened with a few comments about how glad they were to see everybody and how generous they'd all been, then said "we were surprised that your contribution didn't seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received"

For someone who's not easily shocked I confess I'm utterly gobsmacked by this. So as not to drip feed I'll mention that "your own position" probably refers to a recent inheritance I've had, which maybe they expected something from (and this is an ex-colleague, remember, not a close friend or relative)

Please, anyone, what do I do now? I've never come across anything like this before and still can't quite believe they've done it - but since they have, should I reply, ring them, ignore it or what??

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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IAmBumblebee · 07/05/2016 00:09

I'm totally shocked.

I would respond: "Thank you kindly for acknowledging our donation. In light of your response, I certainly would like to make an adjustment to our gift. We would gladly accept a full refund upon receipt of your outrageous message of 'thanks'. Please send a cheque."

There's you bloody adjustment. Never heard the like.

Lweji · 07/05/2016 00:09

Or... for something completely different...
OP, cancel the cheque you could.

Storminateapot · 07/05/2016 00:09

The encashment of our cheque signals acceptance of our gift. I'm sorry if you feel the sum was insufficient, but our offer and your acceptance of £100 concludes this contract. We feel it was more than generous for the nature of our acquaintance.

Have a wonderful marriage, you greedy bastards.

PovertyPain · 07/05/2016 00:03

I wonder if the OP cancelled the cheque? Sorry, I'm a sheep. Baa. Grin

BadLad · 07/05/2016 00:03

Do you have Monopoly in the house? I think I'd send them a couple of Monopoly tenners.

Cancel the cheque first, of course.

In all seriousness, I wonder if the message was meant for someone else if only you received it, and they are now too mortified to reply having realised that from your reply to them.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 07/05/2016 00:00

Ooh, a new thought from me....

Have you considered cancelling the cheque?

Grin
Dollytwat · 06/05/2016 23:58

Op just cancel the cheque

Ha ha ha

Pipbin · 06/05/2016 23:53

cancel the cheque. simple.

Except the op has said about eleventy billion times that the cheque has already been cashed.

Baconyum · 06/05/2016 23:52

Loving the idea of stringing them along to find out how much they WOULD have considered sufficient - then displaying as publicly as possible what grabby arses they are!

thatorchidmoment · 06/05/2016 23:52

OP, I am on utter tenterhooks here. I feel I have invested a prizeworthy poem Far Too Much in this thread, and I need to know how such brass-neckery exists! It's like one of those graphs where you have to exclude the outlying plots when you come to analyse your data, because they are so ridiculously far away from where the neat line needs to go. Basically this level of behaviour statistically should not exist!
Grin

DPotter · 06/05/2016 23:50

cancel the cheque. simple.

janey77 · 06/05/2016 23:38

Cancel the cheque if you can, and send them a message telling them to get fucked! Or if you are a bit more polite than me, cancel the cheque then send them a message telling them you are donating the amount to a charity of your choice instead x

BadLad · 06/05/2016 23:34

Is this the groom, on the left?

Post - wedding message ... please help me, what the hell do I say??
AliceScarlett · 06/05/2016 23:30

"I am sorry to read this, I didn't know you had a specific amount in mind. How much were you looking for, out of interest?"

Please please send this.

raisedbyguineapigs · 06/05/2016 23:29

I would send them an invoice for the £100, saying their lack of grace and manners was not what you expected from them, given the generosity of your gift, so you would like to readjust the amount given.Grin

PinkyOfPie · 06/05/2016 23:26

What a cheeky bitch! The gall of some people. I was over the moon when we got £50 as a gift from one person for our wedding I thought it was very extravagant!

Auntpodder · 06/05/2016 23:25

Placemarking in a slightly shameless way, but not as shameless as gabby, grabby bride...

coconutpie · 06/05/2016 23:11

Tell everyone! Everyone deserves to know what a grabby cow she is.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 06/05/2016 22:53

£100 is extremely generous.

Though that's kind of not the point, as even if you gave nothing a polite thanks would be expected.

Don't mind too much if it turns out the happy couple have singled you out for special grabby treatment. Sounds like she's decided you are an heiress of a substantial fortune that she wants a slice of... Yuck. Such unpleasant behaviour.

DillyDingDillyDong · 06/05/2016 22:48

I can't believe the cheek of this! Shock I feel embarrassed for the bride.

Place marking to read any updates!

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 06/05/2016 22:47

Place marking and hoping for response from bridezilla and news from ops friends Grin

chinam · 06/05/2016 22:36

Movingon, I'd love book tokens. They'd be the best gift ever.

var123 · 06/05/2016 22:35

I would love to know how much money they think would be appropriate given that the OP has already paid sufficient to cover her plate.

That could've been the response, couldn't it?
""I am sorry to read this, I didn't know you had a specific amount in mind. How much were you looking for, out of interest?"

Or better still - "please bear in mind the annual anniversary presents and sizeable new baby gifts that I was looking forward to offering you. Not any more, obviously..."

carabos · 06/05/2016 22:29

I would love to know how much money they think would be appropriate given that the OP has already paid sufficient to cover her plate.

JinRamen · 06/05/2016 22:26

Blatant place mark.
How rude! Shock

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