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Original poster

Post - wedding message ... please help me, what the hell do I say??

1019 replies

Puzzledandpissedoff · 06/05/2016 12:28

I recently attended an ex-colleague's wedding where, in response to a request for cash gifts, I sent what I thought was a pretty decent cheque (£100 if it matters, though I can't help feeling it shouldn't)

Last night I received an email which opened with a few comments about how glad they were to see everybody and how generous they'd all been, then said "we were surprised that your contribution didn't seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received"

For someone who's not easily shocked I confess I'm utterly gobsmacked by this. So as not to drip feed I'll mention that "your own position" probably refers to a recent inheritance I've had, which maybe they expected something from (and this is an ex-colleague, remember, not a close friend or relative)

Please, anyone, what do I do now? I've never come across anything like this before and still can't quite believe they've done it - but since they have, should I reply, ring them, ignore it or what??

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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thatorchidmoment · 07/05/2016 13:16

OP
Do you have any redeeming features?
Grin

paxillin · 07/05/2016 13:10

I would certainly forward the email to all shared friends with a note saying this was after she got £100. You don't want some of them going to the baby shower, giving her a generous gift and be landed with such a mean message.

Perbsy · 07/05/2016 13:04

So the wedding isn't today, it must be the christening then.

As you've probably been asked to act as godmother OP, I do hope you are more generous this time. Please don't put this poor woman in the embarrassing position of having to ask for more money yet again.

Are you always this thoughtless?

Lweji · 07/05/2016 13:02

I suspect any charity will do.

PovertyPain · 07/05/2016 12:53

Ideally to a charity that is worthwhile but that the bride will hate

I bow my head in front of your superior evilness. Grin

PacificDogwod · 07/05/2016 12:48

I know.
I know now.
I got temporarily confused this morning.
I feel so much better now that I am not the only one.

But thank you for being so kind, FullMoon.
I'll now stop taking the piss.

I wonder what new information Puzzled is going to came home with?

shinynewusername · 07/05/2016 12:48

Oo Poverty - I like your evil cunning. Do the FB charity donation, OP! Ideally to a charity that is worthwhile but that the bride will hate.

PacificDogwod · 07/05/2016 12:47

GrinGrinGrin

FullMoonTonight · 07/05/2016 12:46

I don't think the wedding is today. Think OP said there is another event, which bridezilla is not attending, today Wink

PacificDogwod · 07/05/2016 12:43

Oh, really, it's been cashed?
And the wedding is today?
And they have a baby? Or was it triplets??
Will nobody think of the children?

I know it's been cashed, just taking the piss

daisychain01 · 07/05/2016 12:42

if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received

Send her a screwdriver, to adjust the screw that's loose in her head.

Lweji · 07/05/2016 12:42

What are you saying?
How is Pacific to know?

Jamjar12 · 07/05/2016 12:41

I'm pretty sure it's been cashed already Pacific.

Just a hunch haha.

notapizzaeater · 07/05/2016 12:38

The cheque has been cashed, op can't do anything about that now !

PovertyPain · 07/05/2016 12:28

Actually, if she's on Facebook and I had money to spare, I would then get a photo of me handing a big cheque to a staff member with the animal rescue centre in the back. Underneath I would thank the bridzilla for donating her wedding gift to the centre. Can you imagine her having to smile and grit her teeth, every time someone congratulated her? Grin But then I would cut off my nose to spite my face.

PacificDogwod · 07/05/2016 12:27

Cancel the bloody cheque already!!

Typical MN: comes on, asks a question, gets pertinent advice and then obtusely refuses to follow it!

Grin
Lweji · 07/05/2016 12:21

Nice. There's a baby now. Grin

thatorchidmoment · 07/05/2016 11:51

I said the first thing I would have done I your situation would have been to cancel the cheque. I was wrong. What I would have done is:

  1. Stared at email for too long, mouth hanging open.
  2. Forwarded email to DH with prior warning by text that he had better be sitting down.
  3. Gone to the loo, to ponder my response.
  4. Checked bank balance while on loo to see if cheque had been cashed
  5. Taken screenshot, redacted details and started AIBU thread.
  6. Chosen much cheekier and less dignified response to OP.
  7. Told all my friends and maybe the Daily Fail
Perbsy · 07/05/2016 11:48

Why did you give them a cheque if the wedding is next week, or have I got that wrong?

Was the cheque for the baby?

shinynewusername · 07/05/2016 11:43

I said cancel the cheque on Page 1 and you still haven't done it? Honestly, OP Wink

limon · 07/05/2016 11:42

Cancel the cheque. Ungrateful and cheeky.

rollonthesummer · 07/05/2016 11:23

You've got to show everyone you know that email- I'm stunned anyone could be so rude!!

Spadequeen · 07/05/2016 11:06

Wow. Your response was perfect op

AlMinzerAndHisPyramidOfDogs · 07/05/2016 11:04

Holy mother of God.
I have heard it all now.
OP - i don't even know where to start, but you have every right to be seriously outraged.

Lweji · 07/05/2016 10:58

FWIW, I thought you were joking too. Smile

And I fell for one earlier on today.

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