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Original poster

Post - wedding message ... please help me, what the hell do I say??

1019 replies

Puzzledandpissedoff · 06/05/2016 12:28

I recently attended an ex-colleague's wedding where, in response to a request for cash gifts, I sent what I thought was a pretty decent cheque (£100 if it matters, though I can't help feeling it shouldn't)

Last night I received an email which opened with a few comments about how glad they were to see everybody and how generous they'd all been, then said "we were surprised that your contribution didn't seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received"

For someone who's not easily shocked I confess I'm utterly gobsmacked by this. So as not to drip feed I'll mention that "your own position" probably refers to a recent inheritance I've had, which maybe they expected something from (and this is an ex-colleague, remember, not a close friend or relative)

Please, anyone, what do I do now? I've never come across anything like this before and still can't quite believe they've done it - but since they have, should I reply, ring them, ignore it or what??

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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SexLubeAndAFishSlice · 07/05/2016 19:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lweji · 07/05/2016 18:56

Perhaps even ringing 111.

elephantpig · 07/05/2016 18:56

I agree with a pp that you should request the original money back, for 'internal accounting', with the promise of a more suitable cheque, then not send anything back. She could just BACs it back. Unfortunately, I think that ship has sailed now as you called her out.

TheDailyWail · 07/05/2016 18:45

Oh, if only you could claim it back through the small claims court on the grounds that she no longer deserves your gift.

liberatedwine · 07/05/2016 18:39

Oh a facebook photo of you lighting a fag with their cancelled cheque would have been funny except the scheming cow already cashed the fucker before she even asked for more money along with a print screen on her grabby email.

Anniegetyourgun · 07/05/2016 18:35

No no, I've got an idea, why don't you just

oh.

CountessOfStrathearn · 07/05/2016 18:31

But have you cancelled the cheque yet?!

Wink
StillYummy · 07/05/2016 18:30

I would have asked them
To return the cheque so you could make an adjustment. Then nothing. Not even a pic of you using it to light a cigarette.

toldmywrath · 07/05/2016 18:30

PacificDogwood When my parents got married (1964) it was customary for the groom to throw small coins at the waiting children outside church - small village in Germany, the whole town would turn out to gawp give the new couple their best wishes. This used to happen where my dad grew up (small village in Scotland) & he recounts tales of the children finding coins for days afterwards in the long grass around churchyard walls. What a quaint tradition.

Original poster
Puzzledandpissedoff · 07/05/2016 18:28

Actually, one of my favourite ideas here has been the cultural thing about throwing money at the bride; had I known that, I could have filled a big bag with coppers, thwacked her over the head with it and saved myself all this bother Grin

OP posts:
beckywiththemehhair · 07/05/2016 18:24

Great minds etc blatant placeparking

RortyCrankle · 07/05/2016 18:22

Thank goodness for LittlePeas who appears to be the only one here with a brain, suggesting you cancel the cheque, OP. Why did no-one think of that before? Wink

springydaffs · 07/05/2016 18:06

Good plan, LittlePeas. I was thinking that.

LittlePeasMummy1 · 07/05/2016 18:04

Don't know if anyone has suggested this, but you could cancel the cheque not place marking

MiscellaneousAssortment · 07/05/2016 18:00

Sounds like today went well, you're dealing with it so thoughtfully and sensibly :)

liberatedwine · 07/05/2016 17:59

There are many, many flaws in my plan, paxillin Grin

I shall have to do the postcode lottery.

RandomMess · 07/05/2016 17:57

Promise us you will come back and update in a few weeks when word has got fully around...

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 07/05/2016 17:57

Just read the whole thread - my face us 😮 at the flippin' cheek of it!

RiverTam · 07/05/2016 17:48

Pleeeeeeease get in touch with Mr Retired Guest, I'm dying to know why he's avoiding the bride.

The whole thing sounds like a bad Agatha Christie, I'm totally expecting some wealthy retired guest to end up prostrate in the drawing room.

paxillin · 07/05/2016 17:47

There's a flaw in that plan, liberatedwine. In my experience, rich people are rich because they DON'T spend money.

Theladyloriana · 07/05/2016 17:41

Absolutely brilliant email response OP. Simple and effective. Applauding from the sidelines over here!

liberatedwine · 07/05/2016 17:39

I think it's very entrepreneurial, inviting wealthy people to one's wedding, regardless of whether they are friends, family or simply someone who used to work at the next desk along, with the idea being that they will all kindly donate squillions to the lovely bride and groom, simply as a way of saying thank you for allowing us to attend your delightful wedding.

It's a shame I'm already married because I could do with an exotic holiday and a new kitchen funded by other people. Perhaps a quickie divorce followed by a romantic remarriage?

Unfortunately though, I have no rich friends and family, and I'm not too sure of my various colleagues' financial situations. We don't tend to discuss how much money we individually have. It might be a monetary disaster all round and I'd have to send a group email to everyone berating them for their lack of generosity.

beckywiththemehhair · 07/05/2016 17:32

This thread is just brilliant! Have to go out now so placemarking but can't wait to catch up with the saga.

(Ps OP, just a suggestion, why don't you cancel the cheque? Grin)

rainbowstardrops · 07/05/2016 17:26

You kindly gave an ex work colleague £100 and she's got the arse???!!!
How on earth have you restrained yourself OP?! I'd have launched a scathing attack for sure.
Can you possibly cancel the cheque? Wink

elephantpig · 07/05/2016 17:21

Oh no Hun, do you think you could cancel the cheque? Wine & Flowers for you xx

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