When I get in the bath and it's a bit hot I always

We also have 'Winchester conversations'

It's for Shaun of the dead where they talk about going to mums, killing Phil, getting the car etc etc etc

With us it's - get up at a certain time, go the cafe for a breakfast, tootle round town, come back with booze and goodies, put a film on and crash out ready for the evening ... How's that for a slice of fried gold

Loving you...

Is easy cos your boobs are new

( Vic and Bob)

Or

Loving you...

Is easy cos you smell of poo/ need a poo / are a tool

(Afterthegoldrushand Mr Afterthegoldrush)

I just remembered - we have movement-activated lights at work. I have to say, "she said, 'Let there be light! ' And lo! There was light." Fortunately, if other people are around, the lights will be on anyway, so no one's caught me at it.

Getting DC dressed: hands up, baby, hands up, baby your heart gimme gimme your heart gimme gimme. All three of us in beautiful cacophony harmony.
Also most of the above.

Anyone who's described as "the man/woman" gets the Blackadder treatment
Me: "The window man's coming today"
DH: "Two things, my lord, must ye know of the window man..."

Also whenever one of us gives the other some money, it has to be accompanied either by "here is a purse of monies which I'm not going to give you" or, if it's under a fiver "get yerself summink nice, treacle" in horrific sub-Eastenders faux cockney

Singing "dinner time, der der derrrrr, dinner time, der der der der derrrrr" to the A-team theme tune.

Plus many, many of the above ...

DH and the DC all shout "MINT SAUCE!!!" if we drive past a field of lambs. I have a bit more sensitivity and compassion so I don't join in .

DH is another who sings along to the Coronation Street theme but his words are: "Whaaaat a **ing load of shiiiiiite...." Not if the children are there, I should add. He's not a Corrie fan.

Marking place!

Any chocolate cake ..."and if Ferdinand decides to make, a chocolate fudge banana cake, what do we do, for goodness sake....."

See, the thing is, we have SO MANY and they are so woven into the fabric of my life, it is going to take a while to untangle them.

Any carton of mango juice gets the Red Dwarf song
We have quite an elaborate dance to the Bones theme tune
Someone has to say 'all aboard the Skylark' when we get into the car
Jaguar cars get 'I like driving in my car...it's not quite a Jaguar' (madness)

Coming back later with some more, but meanwhile a huge THANKYOU honeydragon for FAB thread

Oh my god, I knew I had a tendency to quote but I didn't realise how many things I quoted constantly until I read this. Beyonce, Parklife, Flash Gordon, Donald and his troosers, Python. BOB. Do I ever have an original thought?

I also have NSFW kneejerks. If someone says The roof, I spend the next couple of minutes trying not to let the motherfucker burn out loud.

Haven't read the whole thing but:
The never-ending laundry. Aah aah aah.

When someone says nachos , we have to say' that's not yo cheese' in a faux Mexican accent

Ours are:

[at bedtime]
me: can you lock the doors
DH: and hope they don't have blasters
From Starwars EP 4

[when playing Monopoly and landing on the chance square]
Take a chance, take a chance, take a, chance, chance (ABBA)

I think you will find that the Circle of Life background lyrics are 'You can jam a penguin up my bottom'

When I want the prongs out of the cutlery drawer, I always move my right hand in a crab claw gesture until I spot the prongs and grab them.

When the kids are watching something on iplayer or youtube and it starts buffering, I click my fingers to make it come back on. If it's taking a while I might have to blow on them to make sure they're working properly.

They don't seem to be suitably amazed by my superpower.

My friend has a washing machine that plays a funny little tune when it's finished the cycle. So naturally I made up words for it. It goes along the lines of 'your washing is done, I'm all nice and clean, please come and hang me out to dry....'

I have to sing it every time. Think her kids have started doing it too.

I sneeze and then I say "achoo" afterwards. When I was a kid I thought you were supposed to and then kept doing it cos everyone thought it hilarious.

Mars I do Max and Paddy every time my 3 year old DS trumps "This is our home! We live here!" He just looks at me like I've lost it and toddles off on his trumpy way.

Oh loads!.

I'm a HCP and amongst my team we always relate names to a celebrity

e.g 'I just saw Justin.
Timberlake?
Yes.

We have quite a few Portuguese and Spanish friends in our social circle and Nuno is always referred to as 'Nuno....Bettencourt from Extreme'. I worry that Macarena returned to Spain due to no-one being able to say her name without going 'heyyyyyy' beforehand .

I work with complex mental health problems and when we have a clinical discussion and someone says 'what shall I say or I don't know how to respond' someone ALWAYS says 'I don't know, make something up you prick' (Mighty Boosh)

We do so many of these, this thread has really made me smile

Whenever the dog farts (which is frequently) one of us will say loudly "filthy pig, this is our HOME" a la Max & Paddy.

Another one: when seasoning food we always say that it "could use some gaaaar-lic" a la Crocodile Dundee

"If someone starts to say "I like.." I can't help myself and interrupt with "big butts and I cannot lie!" "

Someone did that to me the other day! I wonder if it was you. I have HUGE arse which probably made her doubly embarrassed but made me more appreciative. :)

Also, for no good reason, I annoy other people and myself by saying crinimal instead of criminal and modren instead of modern.