When I get in the bath and it's a bit hot I always

Joey has a lot to answer for. If DH asks if we need anything from the shop, and I want milk, I have to start shouting 'a ghost! Why would you put a ghost in the fridge'

Crying at all this. YY to can I (kick it) and Question:

I struggle when anyone says 'is it getting hot in here' as I feel compelled to answer 'so take off all your clothes' and there is almost never a time when its ok to say that.

Also when I go up ANY hill with the DC I start scanning the view for city smog and factory spill and tell them they'll never be free

I'm cold or I'm old, are always said in Joey-bad-acting style

A very Python-Esque 'Run away' is shouted whenever one of our group of mates is ready to leave the pub

Also any reference to witches on any tv show prompts 'how do you know she's a witch?' 'Because She weighs the same as a duck'

Most others are friends ones, however, our friend Adrian gets his name shouted dramatically every time. He even introduces himself on the phone as 'hi, it's aaaaaadrrrriiaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn'

Also, nothing in our lives is is ever simply unbelievable, it's always 'unbelievable Jeff'.

We don't sing though. Which is probably better for the rest of the population.

:o :o :o Beaver Las Vegas

MN has already ruined Beavers for me (hur hur) as I always remember the guy who proudly told his new colleague: "My wife's a beaver leader!" and she collapsed into hysterics.

If I'm asking people to do something, it always ends up being "X can you do this, Y could you pop upstairs and get the washing, Z...just go forth into the street."

If my dad has to take any woman or girl's hand he always tells them "You have a woman's hand, my Lord!"

When my kids scratch their bum areas, I sing "broooooown fingah!" in the style of Shirley Bassey.

The hi-fi in my car doesn't work, and I spend every single journey pretending I'm on Desert Island Disks, in a Texan accent. I even sing the songs.

When we pass an Aldi (or in fact even mention one) DH must sing "Aldi, Aldi, watch them all fall down" in the manner of the Pet Shop Boys. Lidl gets "Lidl by Lidl...we gave you everything you dream of.", Oasis-stylee.

Oh god I've thought of another one I always do. Timewise, if someone say's "it's 2.30" I always have to say "ooh time for a Chinese man to go to the dentist"....

Daphne - I did the same when "Free Willy" was out at the cinema, i.e. "...with every purchase"

I'm only halfway through but I already love you all.

""henever I tell DS1 to 'put your trousers on' I always have to add 'have a cup of tea and think about leaving the house'." HAHAHA

My poor friend who starts every quesion with "Question:" really ought to know by know that I'm about to ask her what she thinks about me, and that I buy my own diamonds and I buy my own rings.

There was a short period of years when if anyone asked "What are you going to do..." I would chip in with "...all that junk? All that junk down in my trunk? I'mma gonna get get get you drunk."

It's truly amazing that anyone still speaks to me

Also for me Gordon Brown must always be suffixed with "Finer temptress"

Ooh- just remembered another couple. My DS goes to Beavers (for those that don't know this is like junior cubs/scouts). As well as learning to avoid sniggering etc at the repeated use of the word Beaver, I am trying to avoid singing 'Beaver Las Vagas' in an Elvis style every time we put his uniform on or mention it in any way.

My DC's school entrance is on a small road and the local secondary school entrance is also on this road. So at the end of school there are loads of people all cramming to get down the same small street. I always sing Bob Marley's 'Exodus (movement of the people)' (well the 2 lines I can remember). DC1 is mortified. I don't intend to stop.

If anyone says 'I feel like [a thing]' (meaning I feel as if I am [the thing], eg 'I feel like an old man') I always say 'I don't know where you'll get one round here'. I'm just waiting for someone to call me out on it by saying something like 'I feel like a twat' Then when I say I don't know where they'll get one pointing out that there's one in front of them. Perhaps I'm over-thinking!

At the end of the titles to Will and Grace me and DH flash our stomachs.
I work work a Siobhan and everytime someone says her name I say "..your knickers, your Da's comig".
I think she hates me.

When I feed the dog, I sing 'everybody's got a hungry dog' to the tune of Hungry Heart by Bruce Springsteen. DH caught me once . Now I do it quietly, unless know he's out .

Helping DCs get dressed was always 'put your hands in the air ...like you just don't care'
Its cold outside ...and the paints peeling off of my walls (Gary Numan)
And two that come from 'jokes' two different people I knew used to tell...which I wish I'd never shared with my DCs ...
One is if it is 10 to 10 (time) - is met with 'its cowboy time 10 to10,10,10, 10 10 to 10 10 10 etc (lone ranger theme) - I have to stop myself saying it - say is nearly 10 oclock etc to avoid it (but it goes through my head instead)

And do you want to save that for Ron? - Later on - ha ha ha
Aghhhhhhhh...

Oh yes, and if anyone drops a pea I have to say it's an escapea!

Oh oh oh!

Upon seeing mange tout on the shelf, or adding it to my cooking, I must always say "mange tout, Rodney. Mange tout" a la Del Boy.

I've never heard the"bear left/moose right" one before. I've laughed way too loud and scared the dog!

If we've run a bath that's too hot we say it's a bit "Princess Margaret" in reference to the time she scalded her feet in a hot bath.

Every time we give DD tinned peaches we have this conversation:
DH: Where do peaches come from?
Me: A can, they were put there by a man.
Him: Where is this man?
Me: In a factory downtown.
Both together: If I had my way I'd eat peaches every day
And so on...
We also sing "Gruffalo pyjamas" to the tune of "Buffalo Soldier" when DD is getting ready for bed.
DD thinks we are both completely bonkers!

My son also answers questions with "That it be" prompting a "Yes it is!"

One small parenting success.

And when I tell my daughter something she shouldn't repeat she's told "Manuel" i.e. "You know nothing"

Petit Filou yoghurts cannot be served in our house without the accompanying sung soundtrack of "Petit Filou, is it you?" à la Marc Bolan.

When the sat nav says "Bear Right" I have to respond with "Moose Left" (I think that was John Cleese).

Yes to Lady Bracknell and the handbag, Flash Gordon Saviour of the Universe, and a very camp "I'm Free".

I think I may have found my spiritual home on this thread

Dp and I have a Blackadder 'is that a so and so?'
'That it be'
'Yes it is!'

Also When replenishing stock on the shelves where I work many products bring on an involuntary earworm.
Thus Villa Maria wine starts- 'so write a letter Maria, address it to my wife....'
Tropicana fruit juice- club tropicana, drinks are freeeeeee.

YY to 'Kimburrly', also, 'can you see it on the trolley?' And 'two soups'. Anyone with a younger DP has 'cashback!' A'la Alan Partridge. God forbid if your name is Dan..

And we do ALL the song things, all of them. DH plays air drums (he drums in RL), never caught him missing an air high hat yet. If he's in a mood he gets the Reeves and Mortimer invisible handbag 'ooooh'. And I sing the milkshake song to embarrass the DCs enough to get them out the kitchen, or My Humps. Either works.

whenever anyone gets stuck somewhere (cardigan caught on a nail, toddler wedged between furniture, etc...) we all sigh and recite, "oh no! you'll have to stay there forever... get married there... have your babies there..."

Or a list of three things such as maybe apples and pears and plums get Oh My added a la wizard of oz lions and tigers and bears.