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Original poster

Having my ears hoovered out tomorrow and I'm SO excited

316 replies

YvaineStormhold · 13/04/2016 19:28

How tragic are the middle years...

Can't bloody wait though.

OP posts:
Original poster
YvaineStormhold · 15/04/2016 11:17

It was £55 because it was on offer Smile

I can't believe my ear suction is in classics!!

OP posts:
AHintOfStyle · 15/04/2016 11:03

What a great thread 😀
Fabulously written!

CadburysTastesVileNow · 15/04/2016 11:01

Crikey! It's £95 at my nearest clinic in Caterham! £55 I would stretch to but £95 ...

AlwaysDancing1234 · 15/04/2016 10:55

What a bloody brilliantl thread, great story telling OP and I am now yearning to get my ears done!

ChubbyPolecat · 15/04/2016 10:47

Last time I had my ears done I had to go back 4 times! The nurse was so excited when she finally dislodged the biggest bit she said I made her day!

HawkEyeTheNoo · 15/04/2016 10:31

A few years ago I was using wax ear plugs as my then Arse of a DP snored for Britain! I woke up one morning and found only one earplug but thought nothing of it. A few weeks later I was in the bath and went deaf in one ear, trotted off to the docs hoping against hope that I could get my ears syringed never having had the pleasure but have watched enough you tube videos to know it's utter ecstasy. Anyway, doc had a look and said there was nothing there. I was soooo disappointed! A few weeks after that I was in the bath again I showered in between baths, I'm not a total minger, and the same happened, back to docs and saw someone else who looked and said there was something covering my eardrum, asked if I had put anything in I recalled the earplug and we deduced that that was the culprit, he said he'd have to refer me to ent and after my initial dissapointment of no syringing, I got very excited when my appointment came through!! Off I pops to the hos and hunky ent guy has a look and said he was going to suction it out, I felt nothing, then he said he was going to try something different and I was praying it would be a big syringe (you know to soften the wax earplug with water) but then he started scraping my eardrum!! After about ten minutes of me trying not to cry and failing because it was agony he finally finished and when I asked to see the wee bigger he said it had been hoovered away!! The utter ARSE of a man!! All that for feck all!! I was furious! I thanked him politely and flounced out!! ARSE OF A MAN!!!!

Ursaminor · 15/04/2016 09:32

Best laugh on MN in ages - thanks OP!

dingalong · 15/04/2016 09:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MNHQ
KatherineMumsnet · 15/04/2016 09:28

Moving this baby over to classics, folks.

SweetPeaPods · 15/04/2016 08:35

Clocks a google of microsuction wax removal and your nearest town should find it. It's pretty difficult to know if you need it. A good clinic won't charge if you turn up and there is no wax.
Or if you happen to have a gp appt about something else then it wouldn't do any harm to ask them to check your ears.

CheeseAndSprinkleys · 15/04/2016 08:24

I woke up to this delight, thanks OP, its a great start to my day Grin.
Can we get this moved to spotters corner so we don't lose it after 90 days?

Clockstooticky · 15/04/2016 08:07

Omg! I've just realised there's an ear wax clinic in my street! How did I not know this?

Arfarfanarf · 15/04/2016 08:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Clockstooticky · 15/04/2016 07:59

Sweetpea how do we find our nearest clinic and how do you know if you need it?

StuRedman · 15/04/2016 07:50

Fabulous thread!

SweetPeaPods · 15/04/2016 07:43

Glad you enjoyed it OP.
£55 is cheap, we charge £80!
To those that asked, yes it is quite satisfying when you get a nice big lump. It's best if there isn't too much oil in there as it then just moves around loads and breaks up, we want a nice big lump! And yes it's very frustrating if we have to send you away.
Microsuction is mostly a private service (mostly linked with private hearing aids like myself) but some GP practices offer it, and ENT at hospital.

ApollO88 · 15/04/2016 07:14

Well OP! Now tell us, when ur or next cervical screening?

Mellowautumn · 15/04/2016 07:07

:) so funny - Thanks x

CheckpointCharlie2 · 15/04/2016 07:04

So funny, am going to be late for work now having to read this. Grin

CaptainAnkles · 15/04/2016 06:34

This thread is both revolting and very funny in equal measure. Well played OP Grin

DEATHsaidBOO · 15/04/2016 06:29

OP, I salute you.

DropYourSword · 15/04/2016 05:35

I think I love you OP!

LeftyLucy · 15/04/2016 04:53

Best thread in a very long time. I shall be using the 'bookies pencil' as a unit of measurement from now on.

notonyurjellybellynelly · 15/04/2016 04:51

That was so funny Grin

LucyMouse · 15/04/2016 04:50

This thread has been wonderful. Thank you OP.
My MIL is a nurse. I wonder if I could persuade her to syringe my ears, just for fun.