I woke my DH up at 4am this morning

I used to, I woke my mum up when we were at my grandparents by shouting 'I don't want to go over the bumps tonight' then threw up a few minutes later.
DS (nearly 3) also talks in his sleep, last week DP went in to find him sitting bolt upright shouting 'we need to get out now' and I was getting him back to sleep later that night when he said 'we need chips from the shop'

My DP shouted biscuits in his sleep the other week. Took me half an hour to get back to sleep for laughing, he doesn't even like fecking biscuits!

I once woke my dh up v urgently because I'd lost my puppet. I was v worried and distressed about the puppet being lost and got annoyed with him when he was unconcerned.

I don't have a puppet, so goodness knows what I was thinking that night!

I used to sleeptalk but not anymore.
I've put this on another thread before but once I was staying with DH (then DP) and we made the mistake of watching a horror film before bed. According to him in the middle of the night I sat bolt upright and started mumbling something. When DH asked what I was doing I replied 'I'm talking to the man at the end of the bed'. I don't remember anything but he says he didn't get much sleep the rest of the night

I thought you asked what giants there were

Aw, I love the idea of a DH who, when he thinks you need to know what giants there are at 7 in the morning, simply starts listing giants rather than asking wtf you're on about.

I sleeptalk, but mostly I just say "No, stop it

Sisters of Percy has reminded me that before DH was DH, I woke him up one night to ask him seriously whether he was the Antichrist. He says he isn't.

DS both sleeptalks and walks. Appeared once downstairs stark naked. 'Hello Mummy, I was just looking for some pyjamas'

'You had them on when you went to bed DS'

'Oh ...'

Had sleepwalked to bathroom, stripped off, had a pee, wander d downstairs ...

Apparently I do this

One night I shook hubby awake and yelled 'Strawberries' at him, then lay back down again. Apparently.

I don't talk in my sleep really because I'd wake myself up. But, when I was very sleep deprived after having DS2 I'd gone for a quick nap whilst DH and my mum watched the boys. DH came to wake me up when DS2 needed feeding and I said, 'Where's DH??' He asked who I thought he was...I don't know.

DH does sleep talk and also will do things/say things when half asleep. When we hadn't been going out long he woke up and called me an 'eejit' (he's Scottish) but couldn't remember why.

Once, when DS1 was a couple of months old, DH had been doing night shifts and was very tired. I changed DS1 in the middle of the night and he managed to pee all over himself but all his clean clothes were downstairs so I woke DH up just to clean DS up a bit and get his nappy on whilst I ran downstairs for a clean sleepsuit. I came back to find DS1 screaming his little heart out and DH pinning him down with a nappy over DS's face. I'd put DS1 down the opposite way round to how DH normally changed him so in his sleep deprived state he thought DS's head was his bum. He couldn't remember it the next day.

missy I thought DF meant your DAD and read your post getting increasingly horrified

DH, in a low hiss: "It's lurking offshore in the half light, when the time is right it will STRIKE!"
I didn't get much sleep after that one. He sleep talks all the time. My favourites (which I've posted here before) are:
"Those prawns are too tall to play badminton. Toooooooo taaaaaaaallllll"
And
"Ach look, it's a gnu, look at the wee gnu, ach...hang on, what's that? [sits up, bellows] FUUUUCK! It's a lion! RUUUUUUUUN! Fucking RUN!" [collapses on bed, snores gently].
I blame David Attenborough

My ds1 was a very polite wee boy. He also talks and sometimes walks in his sleep.

One night he farted, and said, "Pardon me."

Three times.

"Pardon me."

"Pardon me."

"Pardon me."

Once, as a teenager, he stayed over at a pal's house and went awandering in the night. He tried to get into bed with his pal's parents.

Not sure if he said, "Pardon me" that time.

My DS giggles in his sleep, but my DD... well, she not only sleep talks and walks, but she also sleep eats. I've lost count of the times I've had to go down and retrieve her from the depths of the fridge, or the kitchen cupboards and take packets of things like raw bacon out of her hands before she shoves the contents into her mouth. Luckily I'm a light sleeper and manage to steer her away from raw food and back up the stairs/into bed, but it's awkward when she has no recollection of eating the lunchbox snacks.

Once, she fell asleep on the sofa when my DS was doing his homework and there was the following conversation:

Him: "What's a pelvis?"
Her: "It's a type of cat!"
Him: "... where are you?"
Her: (shouting) "I'm in the bloody kitchen!"

She was in the front room and, when we woke her up with our giggling, had absolutely no idea of what we found so funny. Apparently she was dreaming that she was making a cup of coffee (no idea where the cat bit came from, though). We still tease her about it.

I have an opposite type story, when I was visiting Asia and was severely jetlagged. I had arranged to meet an old University friend (whom I had a crush on while at Uni). He called the hotel and I answered the phone

I then dreamt that I was talking to this friend and saying 'how dare you for not asking to marry me. I didn't know you would become a millionaire, if I knew, I would have made sure you fell in love with me and we would have babies'.

I then awoke mortified and confused as to whether or not I had actually said these things out loud.

According to the friend I was travelling with, I fell asleep immediately after I answered it and didn't talk to him at all. When I met up with my old University friend, he acted like everything was normal and he said that I said hello and then he couldn't hear anything after that!!

My DP often dreams about issues at work. He currently drives a truck, so recently was very agitated, insisting that he had to deliver something and needed the forklift. I ended up pretending to drive the forklift, even making the beep beep reversing sound in order to get him to settle down Having told him about it the next day, every now and again he tries it on, the little bastard darling

I recorded myself too (after another thread like this).

I talked about bicycles ("but you could argue that they don't actually go anywhere. The bicycles... they just stand still") and did quite a lot of apologising for something, no idea what!

one I

Years ago DS2 got up to go to the loo. I woke up an hour or so later and walked out on to the landing. One wondered what the bloody he'll had happened. There was loo roll the length of the landing. DS2 had got the loo roll caught in the back of his pyjama bottoms. I ha to tiptoe in to his room and delicately lift up the duvet remove the loo roll and roll it up all the way along the landing and back to the bathroom!!!

I forgot the one when I was ill...flu and a chest infection, must have been delirious...Ds2 who sleeps across the landing heard me talking to the cat....not any cat, but my first cat, who has been dead for at least ten years...

we were making plans to remove all the doors and replace them with duvets to stop all the draughts.

*Hyacinth Bucket, obviously...

I should also mention that I have a "sleep voice". Not, as one might imagine, a mumbly and slightly indistinct version of my normal voice. Quite the opposite - I seem to turn into some kind of gung-ho jolly-hockeysticks Hyacinth Bouquet type person

My DP has form for this-

I have had 'brummmmmbrum brum brrrrumbrrrrumm brrrrrum' (went on for some time- he was dreaming he was riding his motor bike apparently.)

Fave though:-

DP: Like that....
Me: What?
DP: We'll take that one....
Me: Aye?
DP: I want that one...

This is sleep shopping for Ducati's. There appears to be a theme.

A few days ago I woke up my DH at 5 am to ask him

"How will they stop from getting lost? The people of Iceland? It's all white."

Been watching too much Trapped, I think.

Goldrush

The other night I got up for a wee, as
I got back in bed DP asked 'what the heck are you doing? What are you getting in my bed for, there's no room?'

Sukey, my husband is a dreadful sleep talker/walker and he gets VERY cross with me when I tell him he's asleep. I always say it's the only time he calls me by my actual name instead of a nickname.

He has - on two separate occasions - punched me in the head in his sleep and a couple of weeks ago he woke me up by saying: "Why don't you just fuck off you fucking c**t."

He's always mortified in the morning, bless him.