I woke my DH up at 4am this morning

I once woke up to my DH telling me there was a snake in the room. I was half asleep and envisaged a snake crawling across the bedroom floor and said "what do you mean?" He said "there's a snake on the floor" so I said "where?" he pointed " over there" so I jumped up and said "get the snake" so he jumped up still asleep and said "where is it" I said "over there" pointing to where he had pointed at which point he stood up on the bed, so I stood up on the bed and then jumped on his back saying "get the snake, get the snake" at which point he woke up and said "what are you doing?" I just pointed and screamed "snake" and we both kind of woke up fully and were like oh it's not real must've been him sleep talking again. He has done similar things but Ive learned to wake up and say. Go back to sleep (very firmly) not at all listening to his suggestions about snakes or spiders or anything. I've learnt my lesson.

I apparently laugh in my sleep. Proper belly laughs. DP asks me the morning after what was so funny, but I can never remember. Shame really.

He's as bad, if not worse. His footy team won the Premier League, and he was in the pub to watch the game that clinched it. He (predictably) got sloshed, but was home in time for Match of the Day, which he had to watch despite having watched the actual game. He was home a good hour or so before MOTD started, so predictably, being worse for wear, he dozed off. Until the opening credits of MOTD, which made him sit bolt upright and blurt out "CHAMPIONS!!!"

Other nuggets have included "Mmm, pies. I like pies, me" and, months later "Bacon, I really love bacon. I've got some in the fridge." I swear he doesn't go short of food!

I once woke up shouting "TOOOOAST" after dreaming that dp asked me what I wanted for breakfast should of known it was a dream then

Dp once shook me awake asking "how the boys were doing...are they ready for the big game tomorrow" repeats this serval times and getting quite mad until I told him "yes they're ready" he replied "well that's OK then...ffs"

Dd comes out with some crackers when I try to wake her in the morning and all sad quite angrily...
"I've told you woman, I'm looking for it"
"I'm busy" so i asked doing what? "Colouring obviously"
"You can't put that back....how dare you"

She's not a morning person coz she follows me

So funny these :)

DP once woke me up to tell me "I am a majestic lion" rather triumphantly. I still take the piss now :) .

These are hilarious, Im a wheezing mess 😂

Tears are falling down my cheek.Not me but dp has vivid dreams.So he hopped up one night got dressed and put the bins out.At 1 am.He was about to cook sausages another night until my eldest son told him it was too early.

Same son came down and seen his dad eating an apple.He was in the dark and didnd move when ds put the light on or knocked it off.

Both of mine were on the first night Id stayed overnight with new bf's.

"It's a really big art attack"

"Don't put the dog on the wheelchair you have to put the wheelchair on the dog"

After an unsuccessful trip to IKEA which resulted in my brother and his gf getting lost and coming home after not getting to ikea and having a huge argument, he woke her up in the middle of the night smiling and saying "I love ikea"

My partner once got out of bed and stood in the corner of the room. I thought he was going to take a slash or something in the corner of our bedroom. Thankfully he didn't. But he just stood there shouting to himself in mumbo jumbo.

I said, are you OK? and he just turned round, looked at me, put his arms out and goes "come here, give me a cuddle!"

It was 3am and he had no recollection the next day lol.

lol at "RAINBOW!" that's brilliant

This thread has made a rather crappy start to the day so much better - thanks all! :)

Apparently, I once sat up bolt upright in bed waving my arms in the air, shouted "RAINBOW!" And plonked back down at equally high speed. Weird.

Bloody brilliant!

I have, unfortunately, grown out of my more unusual sleep behaviour. Aged about ten I apparently marched into the bathroom, where my dad was in the tub, and demanded to know where my bed was. Somewhat confused, my dad enquired as to whether it wasn't in my room where I left it. In my best you're-such-an-idiot voice, I replied, "Not THAT one. My OTHER bed."

Apparently I am really bad! Dh has had some amusing conversations with me.

Dh's only encounter was falling out the bed shouting Goal! He'd scored the winner in an important game.

I used to sing in my sleep, don't think I do it so much any more. DH's favourite was when we hadn't been together very long and I woke him up singing 'she'll be coming round the mountain' I also act out my dreams, so I'll often be asked in the morning if I dreamt about swimming, running, that kind of thing, as I've been rhythmically kicking dh during the night.

Husband has always been a talker.

At bils wedding in Cyprus, he talked so loudly, half the villa got up and went looking for burglars.

This week he's announced that he's "swapped the house for 2 trampolines".

I've always sleep talked apparently. Once woke an ex up asking if they wanted cheese and chips with there're cheese Burger 😕 I'd just worked nearly a hundred hours in Four and a half days.
The other day my husband came out with "that's 29pence then love"
He works on a fruit and veg market 😂

Double post grr

My DH used to be a teacher. I'd often be woken up by him mumbling children's names or talking about lesson plans. One night he sat bolt up right, pointed him finger in front of him and started shouting, telling some children off for being rude and not listening. He then lay down and fell back to sleep, had no recollection in the morning.

DP likes to bring up the time I shouted,

"That doesn't mean shit! Everyone knows bulbsasaur in a grass type pokemon."

Apparently I opened my eyes, sat up, turned to him and then went back to bed.

I don't think I'll ever live that down.

I also sleep with one eye half open, also freaky. and proud.

DH pushed me to the bed and said in an irate voice 'lie DOWN, Fido.'

I had an anxiety dream I was lost in a strange town, so decided to steal a milk float and drive home. But before I could do that, I had to deliver all the meat. So I got in and looked at the controls. It was a joystick, like a Johnnycabs in Total Recall..
I waggled it to see how much play it had and apparently cheerfully drove DH's dick off up the road...

Guilty of walking and talking. Passed on this gene to the biters..cue random singing, walking and mumbling by half the house.

Arriving naked via the lift into an hotel foyer whilst announcing loudly that "There was no soap in the bucket" was a particularly low point for me

DD1 is the most vocal and regularly sings loudly and then says something random. The most recent was an alarmingly loud rendition of the chorus of 'Love yourself' by Bieber, a brief silence and then "gherkin". She's brilliantly bizarre now-she'll be EPIC by the time she's my age.

*shouting / screaming

I used to say various things in my sleep as a child, often 'give me back my slippers' apparently.
I gave my Mum grief for not waking me to say goodbye to me before going away once, only she had and we'd had a full conversation, but I must've done so in my sleep as had no memory of it at all.

I've also given past partners bruises and black eyes from fighting in my sleep, and have horrific dreams where I'm hacking family to death with chainsaws when I'll be throwing myself all over the bed / will wake myself with shifting / screaming! Not great to share a room or bed with!