I woke my DH up at 4am this morning

Years ago I was a young single Mum and my best friend babysat while I went on a date to a theme park. Anyway there was an accident and I got stuck in traffic for hours. Friend went to sleep in my bed . I got home and got asked about the fucking caterpillar noises. I laid there laughing and got asked what the fuck I was laughing at

My niece is hilarious at sleep talking. She woke Dd up muttering about her lunch box being missing. It went on for about 20 minutes before Dd said "hey you're on a school lunch!" Niece agreed and just shushed and kept sleeping. Dd had the giggles over it,

I once sat up as a teenager and shouted "Stop spinning the world, I need to get off!" Then lay back down. Friend's mum and dad came to investigate and still shout it at me when I meet them

Think MrsQuack has posted on the wrong website. How is this a blog

Quite a few years ago when my DD was about 9,she shouted out in her sleep 'Come back with that tonsil!'

sunny bitch

Also interested to hear from Mrs Quack, how are we providing a bad example for our children? I would imagine most of them do not use Mumsnet, particularly the babies and toddlers.

Yeah duck off Mrs Quack. You humourless bird 😏

Hey MrsQuack

MrsQuack

Fuck off.

The other night DD1 called out in her sleep "mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy!"
Nothing special about that except it woke her boyfriend. She's 24.
He nudged her and said, "Hey, you're calling for your mum."
Still apparently fast asleep, she said, "This is so embarrassing"

I woke up one night, to this day can't work.out if I was actually awake or asleep, but I couldn't figure out who the he'll was asleep next to me. I started to panic, would drink what the he'll would happen when dh got home from work. I led so still, so I wouldn't wake him , while still frantically trying to figure out who it was and why he was in my bed. I then properly woke up and realised I had actually been asleep and it was dh asleep next to me.

I have also woke myself and dh up by screaming and then made him strip the bed and lift the mattress trying to find the frog that was the size if a dinner plate. Took dh a while to convince me I must have been dreaming it!

Am in absolute bits and being told off for shaking the sofa with my giggling.
Dds both sleep talk especially when ill, a couple from this week dd1 comes running into living room to tell me dd2 is speaking another language and it's scaring her.
Last night dd2 apparently told dd1 she wasn't allowed to wear the mask, only the one in the bedroom. ??
Just remembered having to double lock the front door when dd2 was younger as she was once found wandering down the balcony during the night. No idea where she was off to!

I once woke a boyfriend by running across the bed. Not proper running - I was still lieing in bed, on my side. It meant I kicked him, which woke him. (Never worked when I did it deliberately because he was snoring.) Fortunately, he found it funny.

A few months ago, I woke up because I could hear singing. I was singing to myself...

Goldrush sooooo funny!!! talking to your dh's bottom!!!

I have sleeping 'issues' especially when I'm overtired. One time I lost a baby (I have twins) and went crazy looking for 'the other baby'. God knows how much worse I'd have been if I'd actually had triplets.

I have also woken DH by rummaging around in his boxers trying to put a nappy on. He thought he was getting some action.

Then there's been spiders behind the curtains, grasshoppers in the bed and shell on prawns in the bed. All of which have resulted in me smacking them away in a frenzy.

There have been others I don't remember. He's found me scrambling across the bed to switch the light on and muttering about things that I have no recollection of the next morning.

I woke to the sound of our old neighbours involved in a loud argument with their house guests, which was spilling onto the street. I told my DH what was happening while peeping out of the window. He started to chuckle, so I thought he wad awake and listening to the shenanigans, until he said 'plastic drainage piping'

Not particularly odd or even funny but my DP is a driving instructor: he frequently gives lessons in his sleep.

Quack

What is this load of filthy expletive driven drivel? I don't want a parent discussion board with such unacceptable language . If you cant blog without crudities and profanities, don't bother posting anything at all and set a better example to your children if you are parents which you must be to be posting this rubbish

When my husband was in the army he used to spend several weeks in Norway. Some of the time they would be sleeping in 10 man tents within the artic circle. One time after being away he woke me up shaking me shouting "where are my underpants". I did question him as to what he thought had happened but wasn't very forth coming.

I'm a terrible sleep talker , my most embarrassing- to DH not me was on a night flight when apparently all was quiet and I began wrestling with my blanket and kicking my legs muttering "leave it leave it" next I sat bolt upright and screamed "fuuuuuck oooofffffffff " He really did consider moving seats and leaving me to it . I woke up for breakfast and he was furious with me and wouldn't talk to me - I had no idea why

My DH screams and swears in his sleep - proper, loud, blood curdling man-screams. I normally wake up with a start and then soothe him gently (shut the hell up you're frightening the dog). He never remembers the dreams but believes he is being chased, or when especially aggressive and sweary, defending us from some unseen attacker.

I just talk utter bollocks, but he says he can't be sure if I'm awake or asleep.

Dh hasn't said anything about me sleep talking ...

But, thanks to the vivid dreams I'm having at the moment, I did dream the other night that our dd (due in a few weeks) rolled off our bed. So I jumped and reached out to stop her and ended up punching dh in the face and waking us both up in the process

Let's just say he wasn't impressed at being woken up that way